7955/You Can't Actually Have It Your Way at Batburger

You Can't Actually Have It Your Way at Batburger
Date of Scene:	23 September 2021
Location:	Everyone's favorite Dark Knight-themed fast food restaurant
Synopsis:	Some day Tim and Damian will expand their Batburger kids meal toy collection beyond Red Hood, but today is not that day. And they still haven't added a menu item in honor of a younger Lonnie's villainous schemes.
Cast of Characters:	Tim Drake, Lonnie Machin, Damian Wayne

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Tim Drake has posed:
    Good ol' Batburger. There's something uniquely Gothamesque about how it both deifies the Dark Knight and also refuses to give him any kind of proper respect, and there's no telling who's going to come through the door at any given moment. A lot of tourists, for sure, but there's a dedicated local following that mob over the rarer Bat-mite meal toys and get into heated discussions online about the seasonal menu items.

    Tim isn't actually in that camp, but he loves people-watching, and it's a great spot for it. Which is why he's added a Gotham Knights baseball cap and a pair of sunglasses to his usual oversized hoodie and jeans combo, outfit #2 in the three rotating choices he sticks to so that the paparazzi get bored of him.

    Plus, that Joker seasoning on the fries. It's so good. Even though he knows what goes into it now.

    He'd sent Damian a text invite--his treat, not that it really matters given their shared access to the Wayne fortune--and an oblique reference to the possibility of a +1 accompanying him.

    And now he's just sat himself in a booth in the corner, tray of food in front of him. Soda, side salad, and the Plant-Based Clayface Burger, "You'll never be able to tell it's not meat!" ...which is a lie, but it's still good. He tucks his legs underneath him and frowns down at his phone, because even at a fast food joint, he's too polite to start eating before everyone else.

    Hey, at least he doesn't eat his burger with a knife and fork!

Lonnie Machin has posed:
    Lonnie is not taking especially great pains to disguise himself. He's wearing an Antifa T-shirt, ripped jeans, and sunglasses. "You're dressed so inconspicuously that you stand out." He says, as he dips his fries into the ketchup, and absently puts sone in his mouth and chews it. He got the uh - well the Red Robin chicken nuggets, which he thought was a little bit mean, but they're good nugs, so it's cool.

He lets his sunglasses slide down and says, "So who exactly are we waiting on?"

Damian Wayne has posed:
     Damian agreed to the venture. Despite the outward appearance to the Family, Damian and Tim got a long well once they both squashed their respective beefs.

  Damian had similar theories about his outfits in the public eye. But there were many times he did indeed show himself the sophisticated young man he was, this wasn't one of those times. He was dressed in Outfit 3J: Jeans, Jacket, and Jordans. The jacket was a windbreaker emblazoned with the Happy Harbor High School crest.

  Luckily today aas a low-key day, he still hasn't gone to the DMV for his license. A black car dropped him off at the joint, and was on its way soon after. "That would be me." He says, weaving himself out of the group of people just arriving. He wasn't wearing any cap or sunglasses, he knew how to make himself inconspicuous, to the point where a group doesnt even notice Damian Wayne just walked into Batburger.

  Speaking of: "You get my Two-Face burger?" Double patty, double cheese. Two of everything, it was not super big though, basically the equivalent of a normal burger meal.

Tim Drake has posed:
    The side salad is about as wilty and depressing as one would expect a fast food salad to be, especially because Tim isn't even bothering to put dressing on it. So far he's just picking out the croutons and cherry tomatoes, while taking great care to observe Lonnie's french fry eating patterns.

    Which leads to--yoink--Tim snags a few fries and shoves them into his mouth in one quick movement. Smooth.

    It also means he doesn't have to answer Lonnie's question! Because, mouth full. That would be rude.

    It doesn't matter, anyway, because Damian arrives shortly thereafter, while Tim is still chewing. So he just sits up a little bit and lifts the cardboard box from his tray, the one decorated with a cartoon-ified Two Face flipping his coin. He slides it and the rest of Damian's meal across the table.

    "Hey," he says, once he's taken a noisily slurpy sip of his soda. "Lonnie, this is Damian. Damian, this is my--" And then Tim's cheeks flush and he abruptly takes a bite of his black bean burger, so whatever he means to say after that just comes out a mumbled mess as he holds his hand in front of his mouth.

Lonnie Machin has posed:
    Lonnie gives Tim a look as his fries get stolen - but he bears it, stoically. He dips one of the nuggets into sweet and sour sauce, and flips it into his mouth, before he chews thoughtfully. He looks back and forth between the two, and then he tilts his head and greets Damian in Arabic. "Salam." Must be something he picked up in Damian's accent.

He looks back and forth between the two and then he gives Tim a quizzical look.

Damian Wayne has posed:
     Taking a seat, Damian's pale green eyes look at the meal, rubbing hjs palms together. That was right before Lonnie said something very interesting. "Alaikum as-salam." Damian comments, before looking to Tim. "Your friend is observant." Despite looking as mixed as he is, Damian's english sounds just a little different than most, paired woth his light olive skin, most people should be able to put two and two together, but they usually don't.

  Tim's hesitation to say it out loud makes him raise his eyebrow. "Boyfriend." Not a question, none at all. And Damian had one himself last year...

Tim Drake has posed:
    As Damian sits down, Tim pulls his sunglasses off and pops them up onto the bill of his cap. The corners of his mouth twitch, but it's not like he can say anything with his mouth full, so all Damian gets in reply is a slow nod.

    Then Tim looks between Damian and Lonnie as he chews, his eyes narrowed in the way Tim does when the gears in his head are working. Usually it's hidden behind his domino mask.

    He's nearly got to the point where he can swallow that way-too-big burger bite when Damian says the word Tim couldn't, and obviously Tim chokes a little bit. His hand presses against his mouth as his eyes scrunch shut. Miracle of miracles, he doesn't end up dying at the Batburger.

    Well, not yet, anyway. The night is young and villains *have* made appearances here. Or at least, Condiment King did. Thankfully there is no trace of mayonnaise anywhere in the building except on the food.

    Tim swallows, and then swallows again, and then he finally manages to get out a "My boyfriend," as confirmation to Damian. Then his head ducks and he stares at his food. "You're the only person who knows. In the family, I mean. I don't--I'm working up to it." But he picked Damian first, because they've moved past their issues and are now actually, like, real brothers! Who knew.

Lonnie Machin has posed:
    Lonnie looks back and forth between the two, and then he chews in silence and puts his hand on Tim's shoulder, encouragingly. He doesn't really have anything to add to this conversation yet. But he does give an encouraging squeeze! Because once again, he's encouraging! This is a big moment for Tim!

Damian Wayne has posed:
     Damian gave a nod of his head as Tim explained he was the firstto know. "I am flattered, but." Sip off the straw. "If you think that just because you havent confirmed it woth the others, it makes them think youre straight...you're incorrect." More fries are taken and consumed.

  "So, what do you do?" He asks Lonnie, seemingly interested in who got Tim's heart this time.

Tim Drake has posed:
    Tim's mouth opens, and then snaps closed, before he points across the table at Damian. "What do you mean?!" This would be a great time to use an interrobang. "I thought I was until recently! I'm just figuring this whole thing out about myself!"

    His voice has started to rise in volume, but he cuts himself off before he's gotten more than a curious look from a couple of the nearby tables. Immediately, he goes hushed. "How could anyone know? I didn't even know!"

    Though Damian changes the topic of conversation to Lonnie, so Tim is left floundering, both hands curled into fists on the table. After a moment of grumbling, he steals more of Lonnie's fries.

    Damn, though, that Joker seasoning. It's just too good.

Lonnie Machin has posed:
    Lonnie looks back and forth - and he proceeds to IMMEDIATELY put another chicken nugget in his mouth. You see, Damian, he can't talk with his mouth full! It's RUDE. He does roll his eyes and look away, as he chews. Slowly. He chews very slowly.

Damian Wayne has posed:
     Damian looks to Tim with a very...deadpan look on his face. "We all told each other we wouldn't say anything to you about it until you were ready."

  "You might not have known. But we all did. And its not like I didn't have...Sam." Damian lets Lonnie off the hook for the question for the moment, but he won't just let it pass.

Tim Drake has posed:
    Tim glares at Lonnie's obvious avoidance tactics, but only for a second, before he realizes his hypocrisy. Because Tim has absolutely been doing the same thing, and he pinches the bridge of his nose--very much a 'Red Robin' gesture, and not something Tim does out of costume all that much--as he sighs.

    "We... he's helped me on a few work projects," he says, with that particular emphasis on the word 'work' that communicates he means the punch-baddies kind of work, not the part-time stuff he does in the R&D department at WayneTech. Then Tim picks up his black bean burger again. "It's not that I'm ashamed or anything, it's just--"

    He stops, turns to look out the window, and then gives a tiny shake of his head. "I don't know. My parents both died with a certain expectation for my future, and I'm still struggling with moving past that. Dealing with everything that comes with having Wayne as my new last name." He shrugs at Damian. "I mean, you know how all that is."

Lonnie Machin has posed:
    "I'm in the business of inciting positive social change." Lonnie says. "I support protests." And riots. "I encourage philosophical education and healthy political investment." He filled Hamilton Hill's house full of shaving cream. And I'm fairly good with computers. So Tim asked me to help him with something and-" He squeezes Tim's shoulder briefly again. "We'd known each other for a while, but we realized there was something there."

Damian Wayne has posed:
     "Inciting positive change. You don't come off as a normal political or social pundit." Thank god. "And...that is all I need to know, at this juncture."

  Damian takes a bite of the burger before continuing the conversation. "I didn't know I was a Wayne until last year." Yep, and Damian was on his way to bringing down Gotham before Talia went in and ruined that by asking Batman not to harm his own son.

  "So, antifascism...I agree." The irony.

Lonnie Machin has posed:
    "Good!" Lonnie says, "Because if you didn't lunch would be about to get a hell of a lot more awkward." He puts a fry in his mouth and chews and gives Damian a flat stare. As he chews. Yeah. YEAH.

Tim Drake has posed:
    The back-and-forth between Damian and Lonnie is certainly being processed in Tim's head, but he's not actually contributing to the conversation. Instead, he's staring with intense focus at his Clayface burger, which remains in his hands.

    Slowly, his shoulders start to shake. His serious expression twitches, lips pressed together into a flat line, and then all of a sudden he breaks out into wheezy chuckles.

    "Bruce--is going to kill me," he says between peals of laughter. "Oh my god!" Then he takes another bite, and sits there shaking his head for an extended moment.

    Tim covers his mouth with his hand so that, halfway through chewing, to add, "And I don't really care!" Which sounds like a revelation Tim is just discovering himself, here, at the Batburger.

Damian Wayne has posed:
     "Kill you for what? It isn't like he has room to talk. And I'm living proof of that." Yep, he just went there. But he couldn't not point out where Bruce would be a hypocrite should he get angry at his brother.

Lonnie Machin has posed:
    Lonnie turns to look at Tim, and says, "I'm proud of you! We don't exist to please our parents. It's about time you figured that out." He steals another one of Tim's fries. "...Like I said." he says to Damian, "We're still figuring stuff out, but we're having fun. I'm not under any deluded belief that this is the true love of a lifetime. I just really enjoy his company, that's all."

Tim Drake has posed:
    "Oh, yeah, he'd *definitely* be a hypocrite," Tim says, nodding in agreement to Damian. "But you know how he is."

    The fries, which are now fully in Tim's possession, begin to vanish at a much faster rate than before. "It's nice, being with someone who..." He swirls the mostly-ice remaining in his soda cup around for a moment. "I don't want to say 'gets me' because that's really cliche. But we have a lot of similar interests, and even before we started--uh, dating--" Looks like Tim is still working through actually acknowledging the whole thing aloud, in public, but this is progress! "We talked. A lot."

    He sets his empty cup down. "I think I was stupidly obvious, in hindsight." His eyes narrow, looking over at Damian. "...Maybe you were right about me," he admits.

Damian Wayne has posed:
     "I'm the younger brother here. You don't have to justify the nature of the relationship." Damian offers, keeping on chowing down. "Right about you how? I have commented about at least two dozen facets of you in the past. You're going to have to be more specific." Another sip of the soda before continuing. "Oh, and we will all call him out on it if he tries to get grumpy about it. Alfred especially, and you know how he can be with Father."

Lonnie Machin has posed:
    "I don't know who Alfred is." Lonnie says, as he sips his drink, "I assume he's your Manny." Because he assumes all of these people have a Manny. He exhales, and then says, "I feel awkward about this." Lonnie says, "Because I'm not part of the Wayne estate world. In fact, I'm intrinsically opposed to it. While among billionaires the Waynes' reputation is largely spotless, I'm opposed to the existence of that level of ultra-wealth on principle. So aside from meeting your adopted brother here, maybe it'd best if I just avoid the rest of your family."

Tim Drake has posed:
    "I spend most of my time justifying every decision I make," Tim deadpans, and then his expression crumples. "Too real? That felt too real."

    He's at the point now where he's disassembled the remains of his black bean burger and is picking at it, which generally means he's done but not yet mentally accepted it. Fast food is not a regular occurrence in his life. And now he has someone he can steal french fries from!

    Tim leans back against the booth seat, and then slips to the side, so he's more leaning on Lonnie. "On the bit about everyone knowing but me," he says. And then Tim sighs. "I should really tell Alfred." Which is a good place for him to pause, because--"He's... sort of a butler, sort of a grandfather figure?" Well, that's how Tim sees him, even if they've never really explicitly discussed it. "He makes the dog biscuits I bring over for Yap. And he gave me the recipe for the dog food."

    Oh yes by the way Damian LONNIE HAS A DOG.

    He doesn't say much in response to Lonnie not wanting to meet the rest of the family. Instead, Tim just shrugs one shoulder and starts staring at the deconstructed leftovers of his food. "Sure, that's cool."

Damian Wayne has posed:
     "Yes, Father is not trying to go to space and dumping more pounds of CO2 in the air or trying to erase his sordid past of Apartheid profiteering like some other billionaires. And I like that." A smile from the youngest Wayne. "The others you would be just fine with, even if you meet them."

  Damian's eyes look over the pair before giving a small smile. "You have a dog?" Interest piqued. "I enjoy animals, conservation is my little niche of the Wayne Foundation charities."

  "What the hell is a Manny?"

Lonnie Machin has posed:
    "A manny. It's a nanny... but a man. You know. A manny." Pfft, TRYING to go to space nothing, he has a base hidden on the moon. Lonnie stirs a fry in his ketchup. "Oh, he's just a street mutt I adopted. Tim's fallen in love with him, so much so that I'm afraid that if we break up he'll try to take the dog."
    He gets out his phone and shows Damian a picture of Yap, the terrier mutt with one floppy ear and one that sticks up.

Lonnie Machin has posed:
    ...The dog is chewing on a squeaky rubber police officer toy.

Tim Drake has posed:
    The mention of going to space has Tim biting the inside of his cheek. Because that was a joke he made! He has no idea about any actual real moon bases, but boy is he due for a big surprise some day. "Jason for sure," Tim says, of the list of family members who Lonnie would probably get along with juuuust fine.

    He's already reaching for his own phone when Lonnie whips his out. "The feeling is definitely mutual, Yap adores me," he points out as he pulls up a selfie that features Yap in Tim's arms. Then a picture of Yap out on a walk, sat down and looking back at the camera. Then a picture of Yap posing with a tennis ball in his mouth next to a 'No Dogs Allowed' sign in front of a park, with the caption '#nogodsnomasters #onlyball #ballislife'

    "He's a good dog." Because all dogs are. But this one that Tim likes especially is.

Damian Wayne has posed:
     "Oh...yeah I don't have one of those. More like a grandfather I didn't have." Thanks Joe Chill.

  Damian's burger is finished off before he takes out his pictures with Ace. "That's Ace. He's about a year and a half now." More pictures of Damian and Ace playing, some selfies of the two together and Damian is giving as big of a smile as he has ever given. "I like Yap, he looks like a good dog." He says, giving his approval. Not that Yap needed it.

Tim Drake has posed:
    The rest of the meal, for whatever of it that's left, is taken up by the exchange of pet pics. There are plenty more images of Yap to go around, plus there's the animal crew at the Roost: Scout, an elderly brown-spotted Dalmation; Beast, a Jack Russell who looks remarkably like Wishbone; Mr. Murder Mittens, a ginger kitten who Cass is raising to be an assassin. Tim even has pictures of his fish.

    They clear out of the booth eventually, and on the way out Tim stops, and looks at Damian. "Maybe we should get a Bat-Mite meal. You know. For the road."

    A moment of silence passes between them before Tim heads to the counter. He returns several moments later with the meal in hand, and they head outside.

    "Really? Red Hood again?!"