8325/So Let's Talk About Murder

So Let's Talk About Murder
Date of Scene:	19 October 2021
Location:	Harry's Hideaway (Bar)
Synopsis:	Clarice and Kurt talk about pain, and murder - and a little bit about family.
Cast of Characters:	Kurt Wagner, Clarice Ferguson

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Kurt Wagner has posed:
Evening at Harry's, and with it being a place members from Xaviers routinely visit, it should be no great surprise to find one of them there.

What is different is the mood of the blue 'elf' that's taken up a spot in a darker corner, making it easier for him to blend in. Kurt rests an arm across the tabletop, leaning slightly toward it, a cold beer in a mug next to a hand after he sets it down following a sip.

His eyes are dark, brooding, downcast. Seems it's been days since he might have smiled.

Clarice Ferguson has posed:
    After a brief visit to the Mansion - Clarice finds herself directed instead to the nearby town. Whether this was an attempt to actually be helpful, or simply an effort to get rid of her, she wasn't always sure - but the teachers from Xavier's visited Harry's with enough frequency that it was worth a try regardless.
    Teleporting so she arrives a short distance away from the building, she strides through the door - her gaze taking in the room. It actually takes her a moment to spot Kurt, though his demeanor hardly strikes her as a frown.
    She makes her way towards the bar, her bright magenta skin hard to overlook, as she leans up against the bar. "Can I get two mugs of whatever the elf's drinking today?" she remarks in a quiet voice. Once she has them both in hand, she makes her way over - setting down the refill before asking simply, with a polite and restrained expression on her features, "May I sit?"

Kurt Wagner has posed:
Kurt Wagner has placed himself such that he can see who enters, which is more important in most cases than seeing who leaves, but it works both ways. Should he truly not want to be seen, he could simply..go somewhere else in his own way.

So it is when Clarice steps inside that he watches her closely, a brief scowl passing over his expression when she turns to the bar and orders up something, whether he's heard her or not. The sounds of the place, at least in other sections, makes it less clear.

"I assume you found me here because you had more on your mind after the other day," he states. "It would be rude of me to say no." A hand gestures to the place across from him.

Clarice Ferguson has posed:
    "I wouldn't argue with your right to be rude in these circumstances," Clarice remarks with a wry smile. "I- well. I'm concerned for you," she admits as she takes a seat. "And I don't like leaving things tense, but if you need the space, you need the space - and I'll leave anytime you like. Just say the word."

Kurt Wagner has posed:
"I try not to be," Kurt remarks, and his attention flickers toward the second beer that's been brought over. It is, at least, German.

He questions, looking across the table at her, "Did she send you, or is this your own idea? I'm afraid I don't wish to see her right now, und a part of me feels bad for thinking that way but another part of me doesn't."

Clarice Ferguson has posed:
    "She doesn't know I'm here," Clarice answers. "And we don't have to talk about her, at all, unless you want to. I do want to apologize again, however - for attempting to mislead you that day. I honestly felt bad about that. I still do," she admits, before taking a sip from her beer.

Kurt Wagner has posed:
Kurt Wagner grimaces, either way. "Good, because I am not in the mood to discuss her right now. I can't say when I will be." Seems this is something that is going to take some time for him to process, to deal with.

He waves off the apology. "You were only trying to help, I believe. I was not prepared for anything like this, und I am still having trouble with it." He looks her way again, the glowing, yellow eyes prominent. "But you did not come here only to say that much, did you?"

Clarice Ferguson has posed:
    "To say that. To share a drink. To- I don't know," Clarice admits. "To make sure there isn't bad blood between us. To- hell, to talk about anything you want to talk about. Answer any questions you might have. I'm an open book," she offers with a wry smile.
    She's silent for a moment before adding in a quieter voice, "I can't help but think you're in pain. If I can help, I'd like to."

Kurt Wagner has posed:
"Ja? Those are all reasons you came to speak to me, Clarice?" Kurt wonders, folding his arms across the table again in front of him, both of them this time. "I do not hate you. It takes a great deal for me to hate anyone. It is..true that I am hurting right now, but I am not sure what will make that better other than time perhaps."

He considers her differently at a thought, and he continues. "There is one thing I would like to know, since we are here und it is a hot topic. Why do you choose to kill when you could just as easily choose not to? That is something I would like to try to understand."

Clarice Ferguson has posed:
    "That's-" Clarice starts, and abruptly stops. She had said she was an open book. "It's part of who I am, who I was made to be," she admits quietly. "I was taken from my family when I was still five. The Genoshan government kept me drugged, and collared, and taught me how to kill. Until I was seventeen, it's all that I knew, Kurt," she explains quietly. "I've vowed not to let that happen to anyone else. And I believe there's some people in this world that- that we're all better off without. I know you and Rahne disagree with me on that subject, but..." She frowns down into her mug. "It's just part of who I am."

Kurt Wagner has posed:
Kurt Wagner gives Clarice the courtesy of remaining silent until she's said what's on her mind. It's what he'd ask for if he was the one answering the question. Any question, really. That doesn't mean he's approving or smiling.

"You have my sympathies for whatever happened with you being separated from your family und whatever you were subjected to in Genosha. But, if you will allow me to be direct, I believe you are making an excuse. Ja, what they did, I agree it is all you knew. But you have been free for a few years now. Your life is your own to live, und I respect anyone who does not want what happened to them to happen to others. I understand that more than you may know."

There's a 'but' to this, and here it comes. "But a life is precious, Clarice. A life is sacred, no matter whether it's yours, or mine, or Rahne's, or..Mystique's, or anyone else's. Even the life of someone who would attack you. You und I, und all the people we know, we are more powerful than most of the ones who fear us. It is so much easier to kill when you are comfortable doing it, und doing it should make you uncomfortable. It should make you feel like you are making the most difficult choice you have ever made in your life, every time. Every time."

He gestures toward her with a palm up. "I believe you are good person, in there." A finger turns to point at her heart. "I can see you mean well, that you want to help others. Mutants. If you say that this is part of who you are, what you are telling me is that you are comfortable with it, that what they made you is the truth. I cannot make choices for anyone else but myself, but I would ask that you think about this again, about what you think you are, what you want to be, und if there is any space in between those two things. I will always believe there is an alternative to taking someone else's life, no matter what he has done to me or someone else, und I will help human or mutant. I do not mean to sermonize to you, so I apologize if that is how it sounds."

Clarice Ferguson has posed:
    "I try to be a good person," Clarice replies with a small smile. "I want to leave the world better for having been here. And... I mean, I'm fighting for mutant freedom and equality. That's unquestionable. But I'm not in favor of subjecting or harming innocent humans, either." She gives a shrug of her shoulders before adding, "There's part of me that believe that what I do... that it doesn't bother me as much as it should, and I have no doubt that Rahne would agree with what you're saying, but I... I don't know. I doubt I'll ever really share your opinions though, Kurt."

Kurt Wagner has posed:
Kurt Wagner spends a moment to focus on his beer, letting the taste sit there while his words are weighed and responded to. He remains quiet for a few more seconds after Clarice has given more of her position on it, then he remarks, "Meine..Mutter..Mystique, Raven..I have a feeling she is more than happy to have someone else willing to use lethal force when you feel it's justified. In that sense, you will not have one of the people you are closest to encouraging you to do things another way."

Fingers steeple at his chin. "In Rahne's case..I will not get in the way of whatever conversations the two of you have. I know she is already spending some time around the Brotherhood, and that alone concerns me. Maybe she is doing it to keep a closer eye on you und keep you from doing something you might wish you could take back, but what we are talking about..it is final. Once you do it, there is no undoing it." By and large. There may be an extreme, rare case to the contrary, but that is clearly not his point.

"I just do not want to see anyone go down that path. I know what the power we have gives us the ability to do, which is why I must be even more diligent about not compromising mein beliefs." He puts his hands up, finishing, "You are your own person, though."

Clarice Ferguson has posed:
    "Whatever you may think about me," Clarice replies, her expression serious and her tone quiet, "I have no intention of compromising Rahne's beliefs or morals. I don't ask her to be involved with anything I believe she'd disagree with. I care about her, Kurt, and her beliefs are important to her - central to who she is, I believe, and to challenge them would harm her. That's something I would never do." She takes a sip of her beer before admitting quietly, "When she learned my opinions on killing, I honestly thought she would turn away from me. But she can be quite a surprise."
    She lets out a sigh before adding, "I realize taking a life is final. I'm serving as judge, jury, and executioner - and I don't honestly see any way to argue that that's right. But to protect people, to save lifes - I won't hesitate. And there are some people... Some people who I feel deserve death."
    With both hands around her beer, she stares into the depths of it in silence for a moment. "I have a brother, you know. One of the biggest arguements we had - he wants to personally kill the people who murdered his best friend's parents. I don't want my brother to end up like me - a killer."

Kurt Wagner has posed:
"She cares about others as much as I do," Kurt says of Rahne. "Maybe more. I know a few things about her past, und it explains a lot about why she reacted to me the way she did the first time she saw me. But she is a kind person. She was determined to learn how to use a sword, und when I asked her a few questions she realized perhaps she would be better off with something smaller, something easier to use if she is adamant about having extra protection. I will teach whatever someone wants to know if I can, but I want them to be sure it's what they really want."

He exhales, eyes settling on his own mug. "I won't lie. It still hurts whenever people recoil or say this or that, but I must tell myself they are responding to what they see before they know the man behind it, before they know me. The irony has never been lost on me, a religious, faithful man who looks the way I do." A hand goes up to stave off any reassurances as he shakes his head. "I am not going to angst over that, however. Not right now. It is a small matter compared to other things."

He looks her in the face, eye to eye, lips drawing thin. "If I cannot change your mind, at least I know it is something you think about, that you..have some kind of code I suppose you follow, und you do not wish others to follow the same path. But I fear there will come a time you go too far, a time when perhaps you think you have all the information you need, but you kill someone who did not 'deserve' it, und I can only hope it does not eat at you afterward. What have you told your brother? That justice will be served if the killers are caught and put in prison, or sentenced to death by a jury?"

Clarice Ferguson has posed:
    "You mean - because of her fucking father?" Clarice asks - making a face. She has, very clearly, strong feelings about the man - but she usually leaves the subject alone for Rahne's sake. "She does care deeply. It's one of the things I respect about her. She's a strong person."
    Her beer is quickly depleting as she takes another drink, listening as Kurt continues to speak. "That moment may come," she's willing to admit. "But I hope it won't." As for what she told her brother - she shakes her head in response, a frown pulling at her lips. "I said that first we must prove that the people who killed Pete's parents were acting of their own free will - and not puppets of the Genoshan government as I once was. We need to find the people who are //responsible//. But I doubt Theo will ever accept any outcome other than their death - I just don't want him to be the one who does it."

Kurt Wagner has posed:
"Ja," is all Kurt says of Rahne's father. It doesn't take much to figure out he would not approve at all of the methods the man used to 'teach' the Scot.

Nudging the second drink she'd got for him over her way, he adds, "You seem to need this more than I do, but be careful that it does not affect your portals." He hasn't asked how much it would take to do that, or what the dangers are, but he can guess well enough relative to his own experiences.

"I will pray that you all find the closure you seek with that, und the ones behind it are found und put away. It is commendable that you do not wish someone else to kill." He keeps himself from saying any more to that. She knows his position on it. She knows how being aware of Mystique's methods have impacted him, even if she is evidently trying to do better.

Clarice Ferguson has posed:
    No, Kurt doesn't need to say it - but she hears it anyways, looking back towards him again with another wry smile. "I want closure for Pete - he needs it. Everything else is just.. well. I love my brother, but we do make things difficult for one another," she admits. "I'm learning what a challenge family can be." She doesn't seem to realize what she's saying until after she says it - and she winces, before giving Kurt a wordless, apologetic look for her careless statement. She does finish off her beer, however, and accepts the one he nudged towards her. "Should we order another for you?" she asks, then adds, "If I get too drunk - well. It won't be the first time I've been forced to crash in Lorna's room."

Kurt Wagner has posed:
Kurt Wagner can't help it. He glances off to the side at the mention of family, looking through a window. Again, the only thing he has to say to that part of it is a simple, "Ja." Definitely a lot to unpack there, and he's only learned about one half of his parents. Can't get much more shocking than that. Or can it?

Waving off the look she gives him, along with the question, he answers, "Nein. I think I have had enough for one day. I make a miserable drunk. Other times, I make an embarrassing drunk. Sometimes both at once, unless it is a happy drunk instead."

Drumming his fingers against the tabletop, he polishes off the rest of his beer and looks across at Clarice. "I am afraid I have run out of interesting or witty things to say," knowing full well the usual elf humor has been missing for some days now. "I will be all right. I just need time to figure out how much of her I can accept into mein life. It pains me to even think that of her, let alone say it, but it is not easy suddenly finding out someone you thought was long gone, possibly even dead, is actually alive but also has the history she does."

Clarice Ferguson has posed:
    "I can imagine," Clarice agrees. "I- I can of had the opposite experience with my family. I'd been lead to believe that they gave me to the Genoshan government. That I was unwanted. I eventually learned that I was taken - and that they were lead to believe I'd died in surgery. It's been difficult to come to terms to - because I had the chance to look for them, and reunite with them - and I chose not to, and now they're gone. I mean - your situation is very different, I just- I get how painful it is."
    She frowns for a moment before adding, "How ever you come to terms to things - how ever you want to handle things - I just... She cares about you. I think you should know that. She hates herself for what happened that day - because she cares about you."

Kurt Wagner has posed:
Kurt Wagner comes to look up toward the ceiling, and it's clear this is a difficult topic to think about. Parents. Lost parents. Parents who gave you up. Parents who weren't there. Parents who were gone before you could reconcile things with them. "That has to be difficult. It is obvious, und I'm sure you've had many rough days because of it."

It's the last part that has him frowning the most, but not out of anger or spite or a cold nature. Rather, sadness, discomfort. "What you said there..she is still around, no matter what I think of her, or the past, or any of that. The fact alone that I have a chance to know her..I hope there will be a day sooner rather than later when I am ready for that. We should at least talk, und learn more about each other, und..und all that, but I just can't do it yet. I don't know what to say."

Clarice Ferguson has posed:
    "My biggest regret is that were four years I could have hat them in my life. That I could have gotten to know my brother sooner. That- that if I'd known, I could have gotten them to safety when Genosha fell. I could have saved them." There's a small, painful smile on Clarice's lips, and an ache that's somehow reflected in her eyes as she adds, "No matter what Theo tries to tell me, or anyone else for that matter - I know it's my fault my parents are dead. They could be here right now." If not for her stupidity.
    She takes a drink from the beer once more before she adds, "I think you'll get there, Kurt. When she told me the story of your shared past - I was adament that she should tell you. You've always struck me as a good, and kind man. As a forgiving man. You deserved to know. I don't know how things are going to work out between you - but I think the truth is healthier for both of you. I don't know maybe I'm just... biased, because of my own past."

Kurt Wagner has posed:
"I'm sorry it's left you feeling that way. Regret und guilt can do bad things to people," Kurt tells her, choosing his words carefully in light of what he knows of her and the choices she's made, or the things she feels were done to make her the way she is. "I could have gone down a different path with mein parents out of my life. But, I didn't. I went down the one I did, for better or worse. So did you. Still, it is not too late to change some things if you feel strongly enough about them. That is the last I will say about it."

He starts to get up and says, "I should be getting back. You're right. It is better I know these things, so I can make the decisions I need to make. I will search mein heart for the right thing to do. When the time is right, I will know." The only question may be whether or not it will be too late, and that is always a risk. "Danke, Clarice, for seeking me out."

Clarice Ferguson has posed:
    There's a momentary pause where Clarice's gaze stays locked on her beer. She hadn't quite meant to be quiet this literal when she told Kurt she was an 'open book' - but it was all out there now. For better or for worse. She finally does look back to him, though, forcing a smile onto her features. "Yeah," she answers him with a nod. "If I was at all helpful, then- well. I'm glad. Goodluck, Kurt. You can reach out to me anytime, if you like. Take care."