10760/The Quiet Between Storms

The Quiet Between Storms
Date of Scene:	12 April 2022
Location:	The Triskelion: Courtyard
Synopsis:	Cael and Jon discuss recent events, and their plans for the future.
Cast of Characters:	Cael Becker, Jonathan Sims

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Cael Becker has posed:
    "You're getting better," Cael remarks casually, as the pair are walking it off, after Cael's training time on the Wings, and another sparring session between herself and Jon. "You //almost// made me break a sweat this time," she adds teasingly, leaning in to nudge them with one shoulder. She lifts a thermos to her lips, taking a sip of the coffee inside, before offering it over towards Jon wordlessly, to see if he needs a drink of the stuff as well.
    It's still earlier in the morning than she would like - but since she's stopped staying up late working with her organized crime jobs, the early mornings have slowly been getting easier and easier for her.

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon brightens a little at the first comment and then rolls their eyes at the second. "Thanks awfully," they reply with a smirk. They wave off the coffee; they've already had some, and take a long drink of water from their bottle instead.

    "You look like you're doing better with the early morning," he comments idly. Early mornings haven't bothered him much; he used to be in the office and taking patients by this time of day, which meant getting up /much/ earlier to be ready and have time for his commute.

Cael Becker has posed:
    "I try to be encouraging. I'm a generous soul," Cael counters, putting one hand to her chest as she says this - and flashing Jon a broad smile. She takes another drink of her coffee (you can never have too much coffee) as the two continue their stroll, moving towards and through one of the parks on the grounds, not far from where Redfox lives in his run. She actually seems to be enjoying the crisp morning air, and the sounds of birds singing in the trees- God. She's turning into a damned hippy or something.
    "I guess I'm finally getting used to it," she agrees. "Helps that I don't stay up until 2am on the reg anymore." Even if she does miss that life.

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "Well, yes, 7am starts are difficult if you're up past midnight regularly," Jon says with an amused smile. "I used to have to get Lyra off to school in the morning, because Martin was usually working night shifts... we'd basically sleep while the other was working and see each other in the evenings. But being up and out by seven just hasn't been an issue for years." He shrugs.

    "How're you, umm... how're you feeling? More... generally?" They shift their gaze to the side, eyeing Cael a little. Warily, maybe?

Cael Becker has posed:
    Cael nods as Jon talks about his and Martin's life with their daughter - a thoughtful expression on her features that changes into a more guarded expression as they turn the conversation around to her.
    She's silent for a few more steps, her expression slowly relaxing before she asks, "You mean - after I lost my shit the other day?" She gives Jon a wry, self-depricating smile. "I'm alright. I'm... better. I just hadn't expected- it caught me off guard." Clearly. She continues walking along the path, her feet crunching over the gravel and earth that make up the walkway.

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "Considering that we fell asleep on the couch without even finishing our food... yes. Yes, that's precisely what I meant." Jon sighs, but keeps pace with Cael, shortening his strides without really thinking about it. He spends a lot of time around shorter people, after all.

    "These things usually do catch one off-guard. Are you thinking you'll be ready to handle... well, I think it's Friday that we're planning to go. Good Friday." They smirk and roll their eyes. The 'Christian' theme of this whole business has always bothered them a little.

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Yeah," Cael answers Jon quietly. "I'll be fine - I think. I just- It just..." Cael lets out a heavy sigh. "Willingly impaling yourself like that, I just- I kept picturing myself. On the cross," she explains.
    She takes a few steps in silence before adding, "Thanks, by the way. For not- For not helping with that bridge." Her gaze is locked ahead of her as she talks, her jaw setting as she falls silent again.

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon nods slowly. "I... rather thought that might be the case," he says softly. "I didn't like the idea much myself, but... well..." He hesitates a moment. Then he says, "I... would have offered to help. It wouldn't have bothered me /personally/ so much. Painful, yes, but the more that pain was spread around... that would only be fair, yes?"

    He sighs. "But... I knew that if I did that, and you /knew/ I was doing that, you'd hurt more. Which means more pain in the end. So..." He rubs at the back of his neck. "I hope Rien and Robbie don't think too badly of me for not offering to help. That was a lot the two of them had to take on."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "I'll explain it to them," Cael offers, her voice still soft. "I feel like I owe them that, after- I mean. I wish I'd been strong enough to help myself, but-" She releases another heavy breath of air.
    "I'll explain it," she repeats. "It was my fault it all landed on their shoulders. And- no. It wasn't really fair, but that- //none// of that was fair. What an awful fucking thing." Her right hand reaches out for Jon's hand as they continue to walk, clinging to that grounding and reassuring contact.
    What would she do without them?

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "I fully intend to track down the former owner of the place and find out what the hell it was all about." Jon frowns. "As a deterrent it's... well, if someone /really/ wants to break into your castle, they'll just build a bridge of bodies, as evidenced by how we got through. So what was the point?"

    They shake themself after a long moment, and reach out to take Cael's hand and squeeze it, gently. "Well, it's done now, and we can get in without that whole business. There's a lot to be done in there, which... I'm actually looking forward to? It feels like... building something lasting, instead of just... I don't know, trying to squeeze water from a stone."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "And a less moralistic person could just... force someone else to do it, against their will. 'Die here for pretendies, or I kill you for reals,'" Cael remarks, returning Jon's squeeze. There's another moment of silence before she asks, "It wasn't all... just some sort of illusion, then? A leap of faith? Rien and Robbie, they really - they felt all that? Again and again?"
    She pauses as they reach the edge of Redfox's run - watching the creature as it playfully mauls a stuffed animal with jingle ball inside. It was far easier to linger on the fox, than the thought of what Rien and Robbie had endured time and again.
    "Building something will make a nice change. You going to try for your... wizarding utopia?" she asks. "Acceptance, and comraderie, and shared knowledge for all?"

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "From the way Phoebe reacted... and the way they both reacted after... it hurt, at least." Jon sighs. "There might have been a point of some sort? Paying with pain, in a way that doesn't permanently scar? Proving your willingness to do whatever's necessary for a cause? I don't know. Regardless, we needn't use it except as a possible deterrent."

    He stops to peer at the fox and says, "Mmm... I don't know about utopia. It's more just... having a base, a place we can meet in safety, a place people can stay if they need to... it'll be nice. Something positive that lasts after we move on, instead of something with a legacy of pain and struggle."

Cael Becker has posed:
    Cael hated feeling weak. Perhaps even more - she hated //seeming// weak. She knows Jon would argue that she wasn't, but- hell. It still felt awful, and it still felt like some sort of failure. "I'd rather never see that room ever again. I'm not sure it'd affect me the same way - just from seeing it, but..." It was still unpleasant.
    Pulling out a bag of plain, cooked chicken, she starts tossing chunks into the grass for Redfox to discover - holding the bag out to Jon so they can get in on the 'fun' too.
    "Wizarding utopia," she repeats teasingly, before adding more seriously, "Having somewhere for people to feel safe... I don't know that there's anything more important than that. Everyone deserves that."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon reaches over to take some chicken from the bag and rolls their eyes. "Yes, yes. Well... yes, that's the idea. Somewhere that isn't dependent on one person, so it can continue so long as the Justice League Dark does. We'll need to ward it, and clear it out, and be sure of all the nooks and crannies--and really, with a place like that, maybe we'll never be certain of that, but I suppose that's part of the charm, hmm?"

    They frown as they toss a piece of chicken into the grass. "I'm worried about Friday. Not even that we won't win, but... hmm. It's hard to explain. Worried about the fallout, perhaps? Emotionally?"

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Well," Cael says slowly and thoughtfully. "...you'll get your friend back. Phoebe gets her dad." There's a momentary pause before she adds, "You know I'm going to punch him in his fucking face, right?" She glances aside at Jon - a wry smile cracking her features for a moment, before her gaze goes back to the fox, who's now searching through the grass for his food.
    "I'm not sure exactly what you're afraid of, though. Hopefully we finish this... We break the tether between us. We get to- //finally// take a bit of a break. A breather. Recover from- everything that happened. Are you- I mean, is that what you're afraid of? Finally having the time to face everything that's happened to us?"

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "Partly, yes. Partly... well... I doubt Phoebe or Asariel are going to be happy about you wanting to punch Chas." Jon smirks. "I... might suggest you wait until he's recovered from whatever ordeal he's gone through up there?" He sighs. "And then there's... well... the mental strain of facing Michael again. Making sure everyone gets the emotional closure they need. It's all just... a lot, you know?"

    Their eyes are a bit distant. "How do you even recover from something like this? I feel like I should be writing a report, and I can't begin to fathom what to say. I feel like I've done more than enough to help the world for one lifetime, and I feel like I barely did anything at all. It's all just..." They frown, and flex their right hand. "I keep wondering what the point was."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "No promises," Cael answers - almost immediately. She's still //very// angry at Chas, and she sees no way of letting go of that - not without confronting it head on. "They'll get over it."
    She siddles closer to Jon, wrapping an arm around him as she adds softly, "You're not responsible for //my// closure. You know that, right? And I doubt we'll find it up there. Because what I want? What I //still// want? Is for him to fucking rot in hell. For him to //suffer// - for what he did to me, to the other nine victims, to you, to Amit, to the other people who died in that war... I want him to suffer. And I don't think that's in the cards. So... the best I can hope for is just to get him the hell out of our lives, forever."
    She gives Jon a squeeze before she adds quietly, "There was no fucking point. But... you have done more than enough - for the world. For all of reality. We both have."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon sighs. "That thought doesn't really help. That there wasn't a point. If there wasn't a point, then nothing we suffered meant anything, and nothing we /did/ meant anything. And... I know it did, I just... I don't know what I'm supposed to do with 'you saved all of reality.' If we've done enough, why do most of the rest of the heroing types just shrug and go 'yeah that's just another Saturday?' It feels more like the /beginning/, if I'm being honest. No chance anyone will take you seriously until you've saved the world at least five times, you know?" He smirks.

    "As for your closure? I'm responsible for it as much as I am anyone else's. I'm one of the leaders of the JLD, I need to see to people's emotional well-being as well as physical. Not that I've been doing a bang-up job of either." They sigh.

Cael Becker has posed:
    "What we //did// meant //everything,//" Cael counters. "We saved reality. We saved everyone. Every human, every alien, every dolphin, and manatee, and bumblebee. ...'course it also meant we saved that 'the Last Airbender' movie but- whatever. There are downsides to everything."
    She rests her head against Jon, adding quietly, "We've been through hell to save the world. Others have done similar. If they can't give us the respect we've earned, then they're fucktards," she says simply, and with seemingly no room for arguement.
    In a softer, even loving tone of voice she adds, "You've done so much for my emotional well-being. You know that, right? I'd be a mess. Or possibly... even worse. But you are //not// responsible for my closure, Jon. You're not."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "Admittedly most people don't even /know/," Jon says. "And it's not that I'm looking for accolades or genuflection or anything. I just also genuinely can't... I think I'm trying to wrap my head around it all." He frowns. "You know, I ought to go talk to Marc. He'd probably help me put it all in perspective, and he's one of the few people in the world who actually understands what I'm going through, with Ma'at."

    A pause, and then their voice grows soft. "That's the other part of things. Whatever /I/ might want... Ma'at helped me come back to life so I could help her restore balance to the universe. I don't even know what that /means/ yet."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Whatever it means... I'm here," Cael replies in quiet support. "Whatever it is, you don't have to face it alone. I will have your back... for as long as I'm able." She smiles quietly as she adds, "And you can talk to whoever it is you need to talk to. Even if it's Uriel - the prick."
    Yup. Still a sore issue.

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon rolls his eyes, but says in an even tone, "Uriel doesn't have the right perspective. /Everything/ he does is on a cosmic scale." He sighs. "I know you'll be here... but whatever Ma'at has in store might be something I have to do alone. I'm not certain. I suppose we'll see, hmm?"

    Then they reach out to wrap an arm around Cael. "Anyway, how about this: I feel responsible for your emotional well-being as your boyfriend, and closure is part of your emotional well-being, hmm?"

Cael Becker has posed:
    "It might be," Cael agrees. "Which doesn't mean I won't still have your back. Because I'll still be here - ready to deal with anything that comes of it. You know?"
    Jon's arm wraps around her - and she lets out a quiet sigh at his words. "You are," she agrees. "And... I'm sure you feel just as responsible for my well being as I feel for yours. But... I really don't want you to hold out on me finding 'closure' from all this. I'll still manage."
    There's a momentary pause before she adds, "You know, I was looking up 'gender neutral' terms - and I didn't think I'd find anything worse than 'significant other' but- apparently someone made up the term 'goyfriend.' Just- seriously."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon blinks slowly. "That sounds more like something Lydia or Martin would call us. You know. Because... we're not Jewish?" Ouch. "Anyway, boyfriend's fine unless you want to be coy and mysterious and confuse people, which /can/ be fun, admittedly."

    He regards Cael quietly for a moment, then says, "What I mean, really, about 'closure' is... trying to be sure people have a chance to face Michael. Trying to be certain the intra-team conflicts inherent in the fallout from what Chas has done are resolved. That sort of thing. Maybe closure's the wrong word... but I /do/ feel responsible for ensuring that happens, to the degree that I can. And, well, for instance... what if I step in the way of you punching my friend? Then I'm getting in the way of your closure--but maybe I'm helping someone /else's/ emotional well-being."

    They sigh. "It's not as simple as saying 'you're not responsible for me.' Unless I'm going to back off and not mediate anything with anyone... and that's what got us into this mess in the first place, nobody even trying to... look after each other." They make a face. "Not that I'm doing a great job of that, it's just... if I'm concerned about one of us, I'm concerned about /all/ of us. That's what being a team is supposed to /mean/."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "I mean. I could always just say that 'we're dating' - but yeah. Boyfriend's still the most... palatable."
    Cael considers Jon's words for a few moments in silence before she speaks again. "I've already faced Michael - at his full power. On my own two feet, without- without any crutches. Just me, and my own strength. I don't know that I get anything more than that out of this, but... I'll be alright in the end. I know I will."
    After giving Jon another squeeze she adds, "Saying you're not responsible for me, is not the same thing as saying you shouldn't look out for me. You get that, right?"

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon chews at his lip for a moment. Then he says, "Would you try to tell /Peggy/ that she's not responsible for you?" He quirks a brow. A simple enough question, but certainly loaded.

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Is she responsible for what happens to me on SHIELD missions? Absolutely. Is she responsible for making sure I'm provided the help I need to cope with any on-job trauma? Of course. Is she //responsible// for me? ...of course she's not. None of her agents are fucking children, Jon," Cael answers with some amusement.
    She turns her head to look into Jon's eyes, a small smile playing across her lips. "And somehow... after all this shit. Even with the way I- broke down the other day, I am okay. Ninety five percent of the time... I'm okay. And that other five percent? I know you're there. To try to convince me to do the smart thing and just go the fuck to sleep, instead of turning to the bottle."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "Well, I'm talking about being responsible for your well-being as fallout from things that happened while you were working for the JLD," Jon replies with a smirk. "Though I wouldn't be surprised if Peggy /does/ think of us all as children, which she'd be within her rights to feel, admittedly."

    They sigh and squeeze Cael. "I think we're arguing semantics. I'm going to worry, is my point. And I'm glad that I mostly don't have to." They eye her. "Although next time you refuse to sleep I might pull out that book. Did you know there's a book called 'Go The Fuck To Sleep?'" They smirk at her.

Cael Becker has posed:
    "And you'd be in your right. I... was being ridiculous. I, uh... Wasn't entirely in my right mind." Her smile grows apologetic as she adds softly. "I'm sorry. And... thank you. For staying with me. For not helping with the bridge. For putting up with my- my unreasonable issues. What would I do without you, huh?" she asks, leaning in to her forehead rests against theirs.
    "...why is there a book called 'Go the Fuck to Sleep?'"

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon chortles, eyes shining. "Cael, have you... have you ever tried to get a child under the age of 10 to go to sleep? It is... an endeavor. An ordeal. It is a universal trial that unites parents everywhere--human parents, at least. Who knows, maybe Martian and Kryptonian and Shi'ar children just go to sleep without issue and always have, but... I rather doubt it."

    They shake their head. "It's an entirely natural reaction to many stages of development, mind you. Babies sleep erratically and often not when is best for their parents... toddlers are learning a great deal... older children have growing pains and are trying to assert their independence. You have issues such as children learning to sleep in their own beds, or in cultures where children rarely sleep alone, just having /room/ in the bed for everyone."

    They smile sadly. "I didn't start taking care of Lyra until she was about four years old, but because of Martin's work, I had to take over a /lot/ of the day-to-day. And at that age, that meant trying to get her to sleep in time for us both to get to school in the morning while she was adjusting to a new time zone and loss of her mother. It was... a lot. So, the other night was... hardly the worst I've had to deal with. You didn't scream and throw things, for one."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Agnes is the youngest child I have dealt with since //I// was a child," Cael remarks in a dry tone. "I don't do children, Jon. I shouldn't do children. That would be- there's no way that could go well."
    She smirks in amusement as she adds, "Are you advising me to scream and throw things next time?" Hopefully she's joking.
    Her expression slowly grows more serious before she asks quietly, "Who was Lyra's mother? What happened to her?"

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "I used to think I shouldn't do children, but I /did/ marry a man who had a child, so..." Jon shrugs. "It turned out I was good with them, and just didn't have experience. Not that I'm suggesting you're wrong about yourself; I always felt a little sad that I thought I was bad with children. I find I rather like children, now. They're refreshingly honest much of the time, and appreciate people taking them seriously. As one should."

    He sighs. "I never knew Hannah very well. Her own mother didn't want Martin involved, saw him as a deadbeat who'd never amount to anything." He shakes his head. "I suppose I've never thought well of her, that she just... let her mother break them up like that, let her push the father of her child out of their lives. But she was young, and she didn't keep Martin from seeing Lyra." A pause. "She died in a car accident a little while after we moved to America, and it turned out Hannah wanted Lyra to live with Martin even though it meant coming to another country, so..."

Cael Becker has posed:
    Cael nods her head silently. She's silent as she thinks that over. She'd wondered, to be fair. Wondered if Martin even liked women - if he still liked women. She wasn't entirely certain it was her business. "Does Martin still love her?" she asks. "Hannah I mean. Is that- is it something painful for him?" She pauses a beat then adds, "You know you can tell me to mind my own business, yeah? Or if you think I should be asking Martin instead of you, I just- I don't know. Sometimes the past is painful."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "Martin's gay... but he hadn't quite realized it by that point. I'm not sure he ever /loved/ her, but that's part of why it was easy enough to break up with her. But... well... I don't know a lot about their relationship, if I'm being honest. I know he doesn't miss her the way I miss Georgie, my first girlfriend... but she /was/ a good friend, and the mother of his child. So I don't... know." Jon shrugs. "He's talked about 'fooling around like kids do' but it never occurred to me to 'fool around' so I'm rather in the dark on the whole business."

    They glance aside at Cael. "So, yes, probably, you should ask Martin about all of this. Something to talk about on the ski trip, hmm?"

Cael Becker has posed:
    "I suppose," Cael agrees. "Since we're... family and all." Yes, it's still a little awkward - but at least she's trying.
    "Should we go back in?" she asks. "Make sure Bear and Lady Grey haven't eaten Agnes?" As if. There's a distinct note of amusement in her voice as she makes such an outrageous suggestion.

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "Or make sure she hasn't fed them anything bad in our absence. How /did/ Bear do with the noodles, by the way?" Jon's tone is sympathetic. If Lady Grey had gotten hold of spicy noodles...

    "But, yes, we should go in. I've got some work to do, preparations to make, for Friday."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Ugh, a nasty case of the runs - but he was okay in the end, obviously." Cael lets out a heavy sigh, however, as the pair turn back towards the Triskelion, leaving behind Redfox to look for the last of his morsels of chicken.
    "Man. You were planning on working? Because I was thinking of taking a nap..." she remarks in a teasing voice - giving Jon a nudge with her elbow, along with a broad, amused grin.

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon regards Cael for a long moment as they turn away from Redfox, and says, "I can work in my sleep, Cael. What do you think the Archive is /for/? No rest for the Archivist, ever."

    They smirk. "No offense, love, but I /am/ looking forward to being rid of that tether. If nothing else it's taught me to be more bloody careful so I don't need a /leash/."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "...no one should work in their sleep. Fuck, Jon!" Cael protests, letting out a laugh. After another playful nudge she adds, "I doubt you'll make that same mistake twice. And I doubt we'll ever be leashed like this ever again. Though- I mean, having you there, with me, //really// with me when I fell asleep the other night... That at least was a very good thing. And hopefully I'll have learned enough, by the time all this is over, to get myself out of my nightmares... when they happen."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "If you haven't, there are plenty of people who can help teach you," Jon points out with an easy smile. "But anyway, it's still morning, which means for /me/ it's time to be working... and right now, this is my job. Making sure Michael the Archangel gives back his power, and we all get home safe and sound."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "We will," Cael says with quiet confidence. "I'm not superstitious, but- we've earned it. We've earned our 'propio futuro.' We're //owed.//" She gives Jon's hand a squeeze before adding, "But let's get in. You can work on it. Martin can ply us with tea. Bear can pin me to a chair again - all the usual stuff. Maybe I'll take Agnes down to the range again."