20026/The Birthday Heist

The Birthday Heist
Date of Scene:	06 February 2025
Location:	Skyscraper Rooftop in Manhattan
Synopsis:	Black Cat gets caught with her hand in the cookie jar by Spider-Man while she's in the process of stealing him a birthday present. The question remains whether sushi and excuses are going to be enough to get her out of hot water. Surely she has a purrrfectly reasonable explanation?
Cast of Characters:	Felicia Hardy, Peter Parker

---

Felicia Hardy has posed:
The problem isn't that she forgot his birthday.

The problem is that he remembered.

Peter's been dropping hints for the past week -- casual, but pointed.

"I never really had big birthday parties as a kid. You know, orphan thing." (A little too wistful.)

"It's kinda nice, having someone to celebrate with now." (Painfully earnest.)

And the worst one, earlier tonight, as he was pulling on his mask before heading out:

"You don't have to get me anything, you know. Just you being here is enough."

Felicia had barely resisted the urge to gag.

And the problem is that she hadn't planned to get him anything. Not because she didn't care -- she did. Too much, probably. But gifts weren't really her thing. She stole things. She didn't buy them.

Now, sprawled on their couch in nothing but one of his shirts, scrolling through some bougie collector's site, she's rethinking her stance on grand romantic gestures. Everything on here is useless -- vintage cameras, old sports memorabilia, a baseball signed by someone named Mantle (who she assumes was important to someone, somewhere).

Then she sees it.

Amazing Fantasy #15.

The first appearance of Spider-Man. Signed. Mint condition. One of a kind.

Peter would lose his mind.

The listing says "private collection." No price, just a location -- an address in Midtown. That tells her everything she needs to know. Not for sale. Just for showing off. Which means the only way Peter is getting it...

Well.

Felicia grins, stretching out on the couch and flicking open her burner phone.

She's got a penthouse to break into...

Felicia Hardy has posed:
Felicia lands soundlessly on the balcony, a shadow against the glass.

Midtown penthouse. Private collection. And a little too paranoid, judging by the motion sensors lining the windows. Cute.

She adjusts the strap on her wrist, pressing a button on the small disruptor disc she "borrowed" from one of Stark's old facilities. The lights inside flicker -- not off, just enough to make the security system hiccup. Two seconds of vulnerability. She slips inside, rolling to avoid the beam of a hidden infrared sensor near the floor.

The room is exactly what she expected. A tasteless display of too much wealth and not enough imagination. Walls lined with display cases, each containing something fragile and expensive. Rare watches. Signed first editions. A suit of armor that looks old enough to predate plumbing. The whole place reeks of self-importance.

And there, at the center of it all --

Amazing Fantasy #15.

The glass case hums with a faint energy signature. Locked, obviously. Alarmed, definitely. She crouches, pulling a small tablet from her belt and scanning the locking mechanism. Two minutes to disable. She could do it faster, but why rush the moment?

She's barely halfway through overriding the system when something prickles at the back of her neck.

Not the usual I'm-being-watched feeling. Not security cameras. Something else.

Felicia pauses, tapping a finger against the glass.

Then, from her earpiece --

"Felicia."

Not a question. Not a greeting. Just her name, exasperated and familiar and too damn predictable. Peter's voice.

She exhales, tilting her head toward the ceiling, smiling just slightly.

"Well, well," she murmurs, fingers still tapping against the case. Slow, deliberate. Letting the silence stretch.

"Tell me you're not -- "

She cuts him off with a quiet hum. "That depends." A flick of her wrist. The last piece of the lock override clicks into place. The case unlatches with a satisfying hiss.

She lifts the comic, inspecting it under the dim museum lighting. Pristine. Perfect.

Then she smirks.

"How mad would you be if I said I was getting you a present?"

Peter Parker has posed:
There is a certain 'Don't ask, Don't tell' quality to his relationship with Felicia Hardy.

That's probably not entirely ideal. There might be a certain unhealthy quality to all of that at the end of the day and it remains an open question of whether or not it will have any long term consequences.

To a certain extent, when Peter Parker decided to pursue this relationship with the Black Cat, he checked certain expectations at the door. He has, occasionally, chosen to overlook a thing or two - like the first time she showed him her safehouse and a few of the treasures tucked away within.

He doesn't regret that choice. Being with her excuses a lot. More, while he has chosen to look past a few small things here and there, he is well aware of the fact that she has done more then her fair share to not just meet him in the middle but to push past that. She has gone further in accepting his personal ethics, if not as her own, at least as ones that she will respect.

Mostly.

Turning away from vengeance on Kraven, giving up -- most of -- her more illicit jobs, all of it speaks to the fact that he isn't the only one that has made certain changes and adjustments to make this thing between them work and while she might have drawn the line at becoming his actual partner in his nightly endeavors to keep the city safe, it is still a pretty remarkable transition at the end of the day.

But that doesn't always mean that it is easy. For either of them.

Maybe he laid it on just a little thick. Maybe she was just a little overly sensitive about the whole thing and took a couple of his comments a little too much to heart.

At the end of the day, despite all his obsession over money -- mainly the fact that he never seems to have very much of it -- things are not the most important thing to Peter. He certainly didn't expect her to go to any ridiculous lengths for his birthday. But given that it is the first one that they have spent together as a couple, the first one they've spent together in their new, shared place, just a little something would have been nice.

But maybe he bears just a teensy tiny bit of responsibility for the result.

For the most part, their evenings out of the apartment are spent apart. Aside for the occasional date nights, those evenings where one or the other of them put their foot down and insist that they're spending the evening together they rarely encounter one another out and about in the city.

Some of that is because Felicia has dramatically cutback on her more illicit activity, her thieving tendencies seemingly redirected in more focused -- and a little less selfish -- directions.

Which is why it is surprising when he spots her on this evening. In Midtown. Lurking outside one of those fancy, smancy sorts of buildings that house the too wealthy and their collection of things.

He should probably just leave it alone. A part of him doesn't really want to know. Debating just how healthy ignoring parts of their relationship are is entirely fair of course. But it has worked for them so far.

But he can't. He's not good at ignoring what's right under his nose, even when his life might be a little easier. So he chimes in on that shared comm when he watches her break in, when he sneaks a closer look to get a feel for the sort of thing she's up to tonight.

And then she says it's for him.

"Felicia..." comes that wary response. "I told you that you didn't have to get me anything," he continues, a faintly chiding note to his voice. "That especially goes for anything that you'd have to steal," he continues, a note of exasperation creeping into his words.

He considers asking her to get out of there, that it isn't worth getting caught. But she's still the Black Cat. She's about the best there is at what she does. The chances of her getting caught are scant indeed.

Peter Parker has posed:
But that doesn't prevent him from dropping down lightly on the skylight above. From rapping quietly on it there to get her attention, pointing a pair of his fingers at those surprisingly expressive eyelets on his mask before gesturing those same fingers her way.

Felicia Hardy has posed:
"Oh, Spider... you didn't actually think I'd skip out on getting you a present, did you?"

Felicia's voice is a smooth purr into the comms as she inspects her prize like it's a newborn baby instead of a bunch of old paper.

'Old Paper.' It's a priceless comic that any avid collector would love to have in their collection, but to Felicia, it's just a bunch of cartoons. Truth be told, that's how she looks at most of what she steals -- shiny rocks, pretty pictures, precious metals. It's never been about what she's stealing or the value of it. The fun -- the thrill -- is in the stealing itself.

And maybe she should have known better than to steal something for Peter. She wasn't expecting him to find her here and catch her red-handed, but he was bound to find out she'd stolen it. It would be rude, of course, for him to have asked how much a present cost, but as likely as not, these things have a way of getting out. If not immediately, it was only a matter of time before Peter's prized birthday present showed up on some 'stolen property' list he was sorting through.

But really, considering who she's stealing it from, maybe there's some hope that he'll let her off the hook this time.

tap-tap-tap

As soon as she hears it, that book goes behind her back, shoved guiltily into place as she looks up to the skylight with a wicked smile flashing across her lips.

"Naughty, Spider! No peeking!"

And yes, she's just been caught red-handed doing the exact thing that the love of her life asked her not to do anymore, but there's no shame in that smile.
The Black Cat is not -- would likely never -- be ashamed of who she is, what she's done, or what she's taken. Her choices, for good and bad, have led her to exactly where she is.

Screw Hammerhead.
Screw Kraven.
Screw Ryan.

That list goes on and on and on, but it's no surprise to anyone who knows Felicia that her list of enemies is far, far longer than her list of friends. Yet, here she is, not just surviving -- thriving. No matter how many people want her dead or locked up, some bad guys and some good, she still stands proudly free, doing exactly what she wants.

And what she wants, more than anything, is to give Peter this comic book for his birthday. Because Dominic Fucking Morelli doesn't deserve it.

If it just so happens to antagonize the whole Morelli family in the process? Well, that's just a side benefit.

"I'd ask you to come down and play with me, but I'm afraid I left the skylight intact this time... and there are motion detectors on all the windows. So, unless you really want to be an accomplice..."

A throaty chuckle escapes her lips as she reaches one hand up to touch her lips and blows him a kiss.

Like old times.

This game of theirs... Cat and Spider...

It probably doesn't sit as well for Peter as it does for Felicia, and that's still one of their biggest hurdles to overcome. How do they get past Felicia's incessant need for thrills -- often as something exactly like this? She's been working with the Avengers, but that's at best a part-time gig. She's also been going after Hammerhead, but that doesn't exactly 'pay the bills.'

So, there are things like this that she doesn't really talk to Peter about. Side jobs that would smudge that oh-so-perfect moral line of his. Is stealing okay, if it's from bad people? How bad do they have to be? What if she's stealing something that was stolen in the first place and just never gives it back to its original owner? Is it still stealing? Is it still Felicia who stole it? Who gets to make up those rules?

Which is why she just doesn't bring it up.

"Hungry, Spider?"

She saunters away from the display case, still with the present held behind her back, until she can reach a little bag she dropped just inside the door.

Inside the bag, a slender, hard-plastic shell that she makes sure her body is in front of to block Peter's view, so she can tuck that present securely away.

"...I know of a great sushi place near here."

She's still purring over the comms like

Felicia Hardy has posed:
She's still purring over the comms like nothing at all is amiss. Just another night in New York. But she doesn't seem to be after anything else in this penthouse, either.

Peter Parker has posed:
The odds of her completely skipping his birthday were probably never all that high. And really, he might have been just a little hurt if she did.

As such, it probably should have occurred to Peter that she wouldn't be satisfied in getting just any sort of present for him. Buy him something? That would hardly be suitable now would it. What's more, it would be boring.

And whatever else one might accuse Felicia of, no one would every call her boring. Not if they have eyes at least.

So maybe he brought a little bit of this on himself. Maybe dropping hints wasn't the best idea. Or maybe she would have gone out and done exactly this regardless. Who's to say? To a certain extent it doesn't really matter. This is where they find themselves now and that's really the only thing that counts.

Would it help if he knew how's little shrine to the spoils of criminal activity this place is? Maybe, or maybe not. It couldn't hurt of course. Better to take things from someone who not only doesn't deserve them but hasn't legitimately earned them of course.

But Peter tends to be a little more absolute in his moral certitude. He sees the world a little more in shades of black and white instead of nothing but greys. Time, experience, those have both helped to contribute to giving him a more varied view point of course.

As does the fact that he has gotten involved with a master thief. Felicia could probably turn anyone's world view a little topsy turvy, she has that way about her. That much cannot be denied and as it turns out Peter is no more immune to that then any one else that tends to fall into her circle.

But he has grown enough to know that sometimes that world is a little more complicated then he believed as a kid. A little more complicated then his uncle -- as good a man as he might have been -- would have had him believe.

At the end of the day he doesn't know who has put together this private little display where they can oogle their various treasures in private. He doesn't know just how disreputable a person is responsible for it all.

Of course, that leaves the question of what exactly he is going to do about it?

"I'm the naughty one?" Spidey counters incredulously over that open line, though there is a faint hint of amusement to his words despite himself. It probably only encourages her but he really can't help himself.

But really, what's he going to do? Crash down through the skylight and stop her in the act? Web her up and leave her for the police? That's not going to happen. Not over something like this. Really, he's not even entirely sure what it would take at this point to make things fall apart to such a level that he could even contemplate that.

If he could even manage it.

Some part of him wonders if that's part of the point. That the gift is almost secondary to giving them a bit of that old connection. Of their Cat and Spider games. If that isn't the real birthday present on offer here.

"You know of a great sushi place everywhere Cat," he counters glibly, following her through the room from above, that skylight providing a wonderful vantage point to track her, though not quite good enough to tell what exactly it is that she took.

"If you really want to get me something I want for my birthday, why don't you you put the fancy prize back in the nice, not so secure display case and then we can get out of here and make a night of it," he suggests.

Yeah. It's a reach. But sometimes you have to start somewhere.

Felicia Hardy has posed:
One of the worst things about Felicia is that she knows it would ease Peter's mind if she just told him what she was doing. Maybe it wouldn't make it 'right' in his eyes, but it would certainly remove any lingering doubt that she'd simply reverted to her old ways.

But she can't.

She can't bring herself to ease his mind. She can't bring herself to bat away the tension between them. She likes the tension. And besides, if he doesn't trust her, maybe he deserves to stew!

She can be so petty, sometimes.

But she's also here for him. Mostly. She's back on the side of the angels, working with both the Avengers and the less 'on the books' segments of SHIELD, for him. And she stopped with the random museum jobs, the stealing for the highest bidder jobs, the 'I just need this one thing from the Sanctum Sanctorum' jobs.

All for him. And she'd do it again. Because, for all of those names she rattled off? Those enemies she's made along the way? Some of whom she literally either wishes or is glad they're dead? Being with Peter makes up for all of it.

Stealing priceless artifacts is a thrill, but it's nothing compared to him. He's been the ride of her life.

...And not just in the ways everyone probably thinks she means that.

Of course, maybe that doesn't justify being petty to your lover, but it does, in her mind, earn her just a teensy bit of forgiveness. She's trying. She's not perfect. She never claimed to be.

All she ever promised to be was exciting. And faithful.

Those are two promises she would never break.

"Oh, we're definitely going to make a night of it, Spider," she breathes into those comms, slinging the back over her shoulder like she was on her way to class and lifting her wrist again.

Once more, she triggers a little electromagnetic pulse. There's barely a flicker -- not enough to blow out the systems -- but she's slipped right outside the door in that blink of an eye, closing it quietly behind her.

In the next moment, she's used a foot on the balcony railing to flip her way up to the edge of the rooftop, making sure to keep that backpack where Spider-Man can't easily try to snag it away from her. Of course, he could just snag her, but not every plan could be foolproof.

And maybe she kind of liked being webbed up. Just a little.

The low crouch leaves her right there on the edge, smiling at Spider-Man through that black mask of hers.

"So, whad'ya say, Spider? Why don't we start with some sushi, and I'll tell you allllll about who owns this penthouse... and the one I broke into last week. I promise you'll be very interested. But you have to promise not to peek in my bag. You do still trust me... don't you?"

That too-sweet smile. That slow blink of her eyes.

It's almost like she's trying to tempt him into a lot more than sushi, right there on the rooftop.

Peter Parker has posed:
Would Peter feel better if she simply came clean and admitted everything that was going on, with these little games?

Probably.

But at the same time, games have become a rather big part of their relationship. For a long time, that was practically the entire foundation of their interactions. What brought them together time and time again.

Of course Peter would like to think that they have evolved a little past that of course. That there is more between them then the thrill of the case at this point. And really, all the evidence would certainly suggest that is the case.

But if he honestly expected Felicia to entirely give up her tendency to play? Well, he probably wasn't being all that realistic on that particular score.

Truthfully, he probably wouldn't have it any other way either, really, if he stopped to think about it. If he was honest about it. Yes, his life before Felicia might have been a little calmer, a little less filled with these sorts of discussions.

But it was a whole lot more boring too.

At the end of the day she most definitely is worth a little bit of chaos. He can get used to the occasional sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach when he catches her at moments like this. Largely for one good reason.

He chose to trust her. He went into this very much with his eyes open. He did not expect her to change overnight. Did not expect -- or want -- her to change completely. She wouldn't be the woman he fell in love with otherwise.

And she's given him no real cause to doubt her since. Oh yes, he knows that she is still more inclined to do things for the thrill of it then out of some sort of moral obligation. But she is also clearly more picky in just what she does in pursuit of her thrills. There is a method to all the madness, no matter how much it might appear otherwise.

So he sighs, shoulders slumping a little. Oh, he's going to wonder. He's going to wonder until she reveals whatever her endgame here might be. He's going to protest some maybe, feign a degree of reluctance. But it's already a given too. He's going to play her game.

"I really, really hope you know what you're doing Cat," he mutters over the comm before it goes all static-y for a moment when she triggers that miniature electromagnetic pulse, already creeping along the rooftop, away from the skylight to meet up with her.

"You're lucky that I'm a sucker for a free meal," he adds drily. "But you're explanation had better be really good."

He's pretty confident it will be. It almost always is.