9347/But He's MARRIED...!

But He's MARRIED...!
Date of Scene:	29 December 2021
Location:	Sara and Cael's apartment
Synopsis:	Cael and Alis have a heart-to-heart - and Cael tries to deny what she may be feeling.
Cast of Characters:	Cael Becker, Sara Pezzini

---

Cael Becker has posed:
    Cael had been at Jon's flat longer than she'd expected. Martin had come home early, and the pair had invited her to stay for a curry dinner - which she'd agreed to reluctantly. She returned in a good enough mood, but seemed a bit distracted - unable to focus very well on her work, even as she called around to various Police precincts, Fire Stations, and Ambulance services trying to get data on current 'incidents' as she searches for some sort of pattern in all that noise, when comparing it to the year before.
    ...she doesn't get very far, and after a long, hot shower she finally finds her way to her bed - staring up at the ceiling with Bear lying on the bed beside her.
    "Hey, Alis?"

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Alis had in fact watched Cael come home, but she had left her alone to do whatever it was she was doing. She was in the room, watching and looking over the same stuff her sister was, she merely didn't make herself known. More and more she was wishing she had never developed the ability to be seen, that she remained there and unknown, it was easier that way. She could watch Cael going through her life in every way and be there, without being known.

When she's called however, she moves away from where she'd been hovering to appear in the room. "What up?" She asks all casually

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Hey," Cael repeats when her sister appears, flashing her a broad smile, while one hand slowly stroke the ear of the massive puppy lying beside her. "I, uhh... Sorry I had to ask you to stay with Sara earlier. Jon had a tough time, uhh, dealing with what I had to tell him, and I wasn't ready to tell that story to more than one person at a time," she explains, her gaze going from the ceiling to rest on her sister instead as she just stands - well, //floats// there.
    Idly it occurs to her that Alis probably doesn't need to sit, anymore. Or lie down. Or any of that. It's still a strange thing to adjust to.

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Alis shrugs a little, shoving her hands in her pockets to keep them from making rude gestures.

"No big deal," she states. "Things are different, it's all good."

It's also all a lie. Alis wasn't okay with any of it, but she wasn't going to tell Cael that, or Sara for that matter. What she thought or felt didn't matter, she was dead, she had to deal with it on her own.

Cael Becker has posed:
    Cael's eyes search Alis's features for a moment - and a small smile quirks the corners of her lips for a moment. "Liar," she remarks quietly, before gesturing Alis closer. "Com'on. Sit. Or... float above me staring down at me creepily. Whatever floats your fuckin' boat, yeah?" she invites.
    "This shit fuckin' stinks, and I've been more of a bitch than usual lately, and it's //okay// if you're not okay with it, you know."

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Alis walks over, of the motion of walking, and sits down. She doesn't have to, just like she doesn't have to walk, but when she's solid and seen, it looked just like a person doing things and if felt more real to just do things that way.

"You've been through a lot," she says with another shrug, hands still in her pockets. "Your a bitch, Sara's losing her shit, it's just how things are."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Jon's losing his shit, too," Cael remarks in a quiet voice. "I mean, the whole situation's a crock of shit. There's some girl - one of the Titans, apparently - compelling people to join Michael's army. So that was fun to learn. And in two weeks... there's a chance none of this will be here anymore. Or that all of us will be puppets. It's... a lot. I think anyone who says they're alright is a damned liar."
    Looking up at Alis she adds more quietly, "You don't need to lie to me, you know. Sure I'm a mess - but I'm a big girl. I can take it."

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Alis blinks once, then a second time and just busts up laughing. In fact she's laughing so hard she falls over and onto the floor.

"You fucking liar!" she manages to blurt out. "You can't handle shit!" She wipes her eyes as if there are tears there, perhaps there were but not entirely visible. "You have everyone walking on egg shells around you because you could 'take it'. You think I'm going to tell you anything about inside me Shell? Really?"

Cael Becker has posed:
    Cael's expression darkens as annoyance, and frustration flit across her features, and her fingers tighten in Bear's fur. The dog lifts his head from his sleepy daze, given out a quiet whine as he nudges at Cael with concern.
    "I don't want to be someone who just... hurts her friends, and offers nothing in return. I'm... I have two weeks where my mind is my own - well. A week and a half now, and I'm trying to put myself back together as much as I can. I'm trying to be ready for when all that... shit comes rushing back in, but I don't want you walking around on egg shells around me. I want to be there for Jon, and Sara, and you. And- I can. I know I can - so... stop using //my// shit as an excuse," she spits out with some frustration.
    "I can see you - and you're still hiding from me. That's... bullshit."

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Alis sits up, pulling her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around her legs as she does. Her eyes look up to where Cael is sitting, and she rests her chin on her knees.

"Shell," she says softly. "You have a week and a half, so use it to help Jon and Sara, get yourself prepared for when that shit comes back. I mean come on... I'm not going anywhere, no matter what happens. You want to know that I can feel emotional pain? Okay, then I'm telling you I can. You want to know that I think all of this, I mean ALL OF THIS sucks? Okay, it sucks. It changes nothing."

With a sigh, she stands herself up and the hands go back into her pockets as she starts to pace the room slowly. "I've been listening and watching, it's what I do, I know what's coming. I heard a conversation between that Johnny guy and Sara that sort of ticked me off in a way I didn't even know I could be ticked off, but there's jack shit I can do about any of it, so I stay here for you and for Sara." She looks back to Cael. "You don't have to be there for me, that's now how this works."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Why isn't it?" Cael shoots back. "We've always been there for each other. Always. If you're in pain... I should be there for you. I //want// to be there for you," she insists. "I've got my new therapist all lined up - daily appointments between now and the end of the world. To try to be ready for all of this. To try to be ready when... it comes back. I'm doing the hard work. ...I don't think it'll be as bad the second time around. I think... I mean, if I couldn't get ready to handle this in the two weeks I was given, then why would he-" God, is she trusting in an //angel// now?
    "I love you, Alis, and I want to be there for you, because whatever the fuck you want to believe, that //is// how it works. We're still sisters."

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Alis kicks a little at nothing, like there is a rock there but really it's just the carpet. She wanted to believe that, she really did, but she found it harder and harder to. Ever since she found out she could appear, everything had been different, nothing had felt the same, and now the universe was likely going to end, and it felt even more off and wrong.

"Are we?" She finally asks, looking up from the imaginary rock. "I mean, I love you Shell, but ever since that red mist... everything has been so different, I mean majorly different. It doesn't feel the same, at all, and maybe it's not supposed to. Maybe that's how this is supposed to go as you move on with life, cause /that's/ the point. You move on in life, get a life, have a life and I stay dead, maybe get to move on, maybe, or not... I don't know."

She sighs again, and sits on the end of the bed. "It's not the same Shell," she finally says more firmly. "We're still sisters, but it's not the same and it never will be. You'll always have this thing or that thing to do, and it'll need to be private, because that exists now. We did everything together, we shared everything with each other, and before you knew I was there, it was still like that, because I was always there... now you know I'm here and it's all changed."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Alis... I believed you were gone for more than seven years. Is it any real surprise that it's taking a little time to- well, to readjust?" Cael asks, brushing her free hand across her eyes, and pushing herself up to sit so her back is to the bed's headboard. Bear repositions himself as well, to rest his head in Cael's lap as the conversation continues. "And... okay, yeah, maybe it'll never be exactly the same. Nothing ever stays exactly the same - I've changed a lot. I'm not that reckless teen anymore, but that's okay, isn't it?" she asks.
    "But saying we did //everything// together as kids - that's bullshit and you know it. We weren't tethered to each other. I mean, that's how things have been for you for... a long while now, and sure, we did a lot of stuff together... But I did more of the car thefts, while you stayed in the shop, yeah? I understood - and still understand shit about how cars really work."
    She lets out a sigh and then repeats, "I want to be there for you. I want to know what you're thinking, and feeling. You're my sister, and you'll always be my sister." There's a momentary pause before she adds more quietly, "And if you ever wanted to move on, if you got tired of all this... You should be able to tell me that. You //need// to be able to tell me that. Alright? Please. I don't want to be torturing you by dragging you around with me."

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Alis moves to sit on the bed closer to Cael, but also do she can pet Bear a little. He really was a good idea, and Alis loved taking care of him when she could.

"You know what I meant Shell," she replies quietly. "Yes, you did the racing and I built the cars, but the rest of the time, we were together. We talked about everything, and you're right.." she stops there, looking down at Bear instead of Cael. "You aren't that reckless teen any more, and that's good. You got to grow up, become an adult and do adult things like you were supposed to. I think that's great, I really do. I got to watch you do it."

Taking her hand off the dog, she sighs softly before shoving her hands back in her pockets and looking up at Cael. "It doesn't matter if I want to move on or not, I can't. I mean I don't want to," she quickly adds, to make sure Cael understands that. "But if I did, I can't. There's a reason I'm still here, I don't know what it is, but it's there. So... let's stop this and how about you tell me what it was you wanted to when you called me over."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Yeah, we talked about everything," Cael agrees. "...and you ain't telling me shit, now," she points out bluntly, before letting out a sigh.
    Her gaze moves away from Alis, to stare at the wall across from her, as she frowns slightly. "...I kissed Jon," she finally admits. "I mean- it was on the forehead. He was upset, and I was trying to comfort him, and I just... did it. And it's confusing the hell outta me," she admits. "I mean, when have I ever... I don't know. It was weird."

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Alis' expression is sheer surprise, both eyes wide, brows lifted, mouth even slightly open and then she blinks.

"He's a friend," she offers first. "He's important to you, so... you offered comfort, unless..." she tilts her head. "Did you /feel/ something when you kissed him? I mean like..." Now she just points at Cael's parts.

"Cause if you did, then it's more... but if you didn't, it's just friendship. Friends do that too you know, so it's all right. You're growing up, right?"

Cael Becker has posed:
    "I don't know," Cael remarks quietly. "I dunno what I was feeling. It's all... confused. I didn't want him to hurt, that's all I'm really sure of." She lets out a quiet groan as she adds, "And of course, //his husband// walked in right there, and found us hugging each other on the floor and- God. It's a mess.
    "But it has to be just the friends thing, right? I mean - he's married for fuck's sake, so..." She lets out a heavy sigh. "Gotta be the friend's thing," she repeats quietly. "Not like I've ever fallen for anyone else." So why would she start //now//? In the middle of all //this//? With a married man - a good, what, decade older than her?

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Alis hmms softly, watching Cael as she talks and listens to the tones of her voice.

"Uhhh..." she finally voices quietly. "Um...." she then adds. "I... don't think it's just friendship." There, she said it.

"Married or not don't matter with this kind of thing. It happens when it happens, friendship often being the starter, then it moves to something more, just a little more than friendship where you find yourself /feeling/ more for them, worrying about them, wanting to check on them, wondering if their alright... and slowly, it keeps growing and BAM..." she smacks her hands together. "It's more than friendship... and the fact that you have never fallen for anyone, ever, doesn't matter. It just takes one time, one moment, one look, one sensation and it happens."

Cael Becker has posed:
    Cael groans loudly. This is //not// what she wanted to hear. "He's //married,// Alis!" she repeats desperately, remembering that accusing tone in Blackwood's voice when he walked in on the pair, in each other's arms. "And we're in the middle of a bit of a mess. This is not the time for this... shit. It's- I mean... he saved my life. Him, and you, and Sara - you saved my life, and I've been... a wreck. And I'm feeling more like myself, and he's still in so much pain, and I just wanted to..." Shit. //Shit//.
    "...it can't be that," she mutters under her breath.

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Alis turns a little more toward Cael, staring at her. "You think love and attraction wait for the 'right time'?" She shakes her head slowly. "It doesn't. It picks it's own time and place, but I would also like to add something here... he is the one who saved your life. Him and Sara, and you could be projecting some of that into how you feel, but I doubt it. So..."

She moves now to sit beside Cael, putting her arm around her sister, "You are falling for the man who saved your life and the man who helped you start healing as a therapist. You have two choices Shell," she lays her head on Cael's shoulder. "One. See where it goes, maybe destroy a marriage in the process, or two, back off and find someone else."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "They wouldn't have found me without you," Cael points out quietly. "You saved me, Alis. And none of you could have saved me without the others." So it was a good thing things had worked out the way they had.
    She leans against Alis's form, still not used to the fact that that is even //possible,// as she adds, "I'm not gonna go ruining his marriage. That's no way to thank a guy who saved your life. That's not even a choice."

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Alis hmms softly. "I'll give you that one then," she admits. "I was drawn back to you, so I guess I played a part in it."

Pulling her hand out of her pocket, she reaches over to pet Bear's head. "You're looking at it wrong Shell," she says after a minute. "I'm not saying run over there, confess your love, ruin the marriage... but are you prepared to just 'let it go'? /CAN/ you let it go? It's not an easy thing to love someone and not... be allowed to love them." She runs her fingers over Bear's head, then an ear. "So... how do you want to do this? Just let it go?"

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Well... that's my only choice, yeah?" Cael answers quietly. "If that's even what this is." And she's still not sure she's willing to admit that.
    She lets out a heavy sigh before adding a heartfelt, "Fuck. I just want to be there for my friend. And... he needs me to be there for him. And from what Raphael said- well. He implied that there's a lot riding on me managing to pull this off." And she doesn't need to add further complications to it all right now.
    "Fuck."

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Turning a little so she's facing Cael, Alis boops her lightly on the end of the nose with her finger.

"You want to know my opinion or what society would tell you?" She asks bluntly. "Wait, ignore that, I'm giving you both. My opinion... you don't know love, not really, not the way it's meant to be shared between two people, or three people, or more for that matter. This is the first time you've ever felt it, or anything close to it, you can't ignore it. You have to see if it's real and if there's a chance that he might feel something to."

She shifts again so she's laying her head back on Cael's shoulder, "Society would tell you to back off, be the bigger person, ignore what you're feeling... but society is filled with morons and morals based in religion, so fuck that. You have to do what's right for /you/ Shell, not anyone else."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Heeeey," Cael protests, swatting the finger away, and then shaking her head.
    "What's right for //me// isn't the only thing that matters here," she points out firmly. "There's //three// people involved. Three. Four, if we count Agnes." After all, Cael an only assume Alis overheard something from those two conversations...
    "Their family is what matters the most here. And I'm still not convinced- I mean, we don't really //know//... That that's what this is. I mean, I haven't done very many close friendships, either, you know?"

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Alis smirks and rolls her eyes, not that Cael can see her do it.

"So you want to go smooching on Sara?" She asks plainly. "You consider her a close friend, but no... you don't. Jon is different, the friendship is different and you need to accept that. You need to admit that to yourself first, then decide what you'll do, but yeah... what's right for /you/ is the only thing that matters here."

There is a soft sigh, then she finally adds the rest, "He won't leave his husband for you. He won't ruin is relationship with Martin for you, but you still need to go through /all/ the steps of this to learn them, to experience them, and /then/ decide. No matter which way it goes, you're going to get hurt. If you choose to do nothing, you hurt. If you choose to try for something, you'll be rejected and be hurt. The question is, knowing that you'll be hurt no matter what, is it worth learning more by trying?"

Cael Becker has posed:
    Cael winds her fingers into Bear's fur, feeling his warmth so close to her... It was a comfort. She's already become dependent on the dog, and she knows that. But, hell, that had been the whole point, hadn't it?
    "Not if it hurts on," she insists. "Especially not now. Not with everything that's happening. None of us are thinking clearly right now. This is... God, this is the worst possible time for something like this.
    "So I do nothing. It's... that's the way it has to be."

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Alis sighs softly and nods, "Okay. For now, you do nothing.... if the universe doesn't end, maybe something."

Now there is a long silence as she watches Cael petting Bear, well really gripping Bear for dear life but close enough. "Shell," she finally says softly. "Is it okay that I'm a little jealous, a little angry, and a little sad at the same time?"

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Maybe something," Cael relents in a low murmur. Little by little, her grip on the poor pup begins to loosen, until she is petting him again, her gaze still fixed on the wall across from her until Alis speaks again.
    She turns her head towards her sister, curiosity and concern showing on her features. "Sure it's okay," she agrees. "Of course it is. But, uh... why? Jealous that I have the chance to, uh...?" To fall for someone. Maybe.

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Alis' eyes remain on Bear as her head lingers on Cael's shoulder.

"Jealous of many things really, angry about many things and just sad..." she sighs softly. "Jealous you got to grow up, be an adult, be a person who could maybe fall in love. Angry that I didn't, that I'm stuck as a teenager, forever and even if I get to be around, and be real sometimes, I'm still a teenager and that's all people will ever see, even though... in my head, I'm not. And sad... well, that should be obvious. Sad that I'll /never/ have a purpose, never have anything, I'll just... exist."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Yeah," Cael says in a quiet, sympathetic voice - underlaced with pain of her own. "It's okay to feel all those things. I feel them to - for you. I... wish we had a way to give you back your life. I mean, I'm sure you know I tried to get Sara to find a way to- that we could try to fix things for you. I wish you could have your own life again. That you could grow, and change. That... you didn't have to be tied to me like this. It isn't right. Your life shouldn't have been stolen from you."

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Alis turns again so she can look at Cael's face.

"Being tied to you isn't bad Shell," she says with a smile. "How do you think I managed to learn what I have? I know you tried to get Sara to find a way, but I'm also glad that stopped once I could appear to you. It's not... a good thing, what Witchblade does, so yeah, really glad that stopped."

She nudges Cael lightly, "Besides, I may feel all those things but the other things I feel... I'm glad to be with you, that I can help you some times. I just hope I can do more at some point, that I can actually be helpful."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "You do help me," Cael answers quietly. "And... well. I don't want to risk you with the angels, since I doubt you could do much if anything against them. But... Other stuff? SHIELD stuff? You could be a lot of help there. Hell, maybe you'll start dragging me along to the places SHIELD needs //you// to go," she remarks in a dryly amused voice.
    Her arm tightens around Alis's form as she adds quietly, "When you're having a tough time... Please tell me. You know I want you to be happy, as much as you can. And if- I mean, those times when I really am struggling... Talk to Sara? Or maybe even Jon? They can hear you even when I can't yeah? So... Just don't keep it all to yourself. Okay?"

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Alis hugs Cael, both arms around her sister. She knows deep down that Cael means well, and sure Alis likes Sara and Jon, but she doesn't know them. Both of them see her as the ghost teen, the extra that comes with Cael or gets ordered to stay out, but close enough.

"Sure Shell," she offers quietly. "I'll try, that's all I can promise."