9848/Awkward Pathos Sandwich

Awkward Pathos Sandwich
Date of Scene:	27 January 2022
Location:	Tunnels under Grand Central Station
Synopsis:	Jon and Cael discuss such topics as (literally) sleeping together, Jon's upcoming ordeal, and Jon's daughter. Tears and awkwardness occur in turns.
Cast of Characters:	Cael Becker, Jonathan Sims
Tinyplot:	Path of Glory

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Cael Becker has posed:
    The last few days have been... strange, and busy. Between rescuing Agnes, finding the amulet, and Sara's struggles - not to mention the ongoing apocalypse - it left one with a little less free time for those vital conversations than necessary. So when someone mentioned that 'Agent Sims' had stepped out for another smoke, Cael takes the opportunity to make her way down into the tunnels, intent on tracking him down. She starts by listening for his voice - but that turns out not to be necessary, as Bear starts naturally trotting towards one of the tunnels before stopping, and looking back at Cael with ears cocked questioningly.
    They were gonna go play with Jon, right? Right?
    Baffled and bemused, Cael decides to follow the pup. If he //wasn't// as clever as he seemed to be - it's not like she was wasting much time by letting Bear lead the way.

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon's not singing for once, but that's because he's pacing and talking to himself instead, gesticulating with a lit cigarette. There's glowing text on one wall, but it doesn't have the look of Enochian; it's too yellow for that, for one thing. For another, it's all hieroglyphs, which are decidedly not Enochian-looking.

    "...thirteen at once? In the sphere at the top, maybe? Mmmm, that /might/ work, but I'd have to..." He stops his pacing and turns to peer at the writing he's put on the wall. "But how do I even /test/ it? Call up one of them? That'll go over well. 'Hey, Uriel, mate, mind popping over to see if these wards I set up keep you out? Might hurt a bit, so sorry. Ta.'" He rolls his eyes. At himself.

    "Mmm. Might have to do that anyway." He frowns at the wall, thoughtful. Doesn't seem to notice Bear and Cael coming along.

Cael Becker has posed:
    The yellow glow around the corner, along with the indistinct sound of Jon's muttering, catches her attention first from around a corner - and Cael's steps actually falter for a moment. Surely that wasn't the //golden// glow of...?
    It's only as the Egyptian hieroglyphs come into view that she starts to relax a little from her momentary paranoia, and forces both of her hands to relax. Her left hand, wrapped in a bandage where fresh tattoos cross the skin, aches a little from the pull at her skin - but she doesn't mind that terribly.
    Bear reaches Jon first, the pup's claws quietly ticking across the hard floor until he stops beside the man, licking his hand in greeting - thankfully not the hand holding the cigarette. Cael follows at a slower pace, offering first a smile of greeting, and then a hug. "How are you, love?" she asks - the words out of her mouth before she even fully registers them with a surprised expression.

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    The click-clack of claws and the licking of doggy tongue finally brings Jon out of whatever reverie he was in; he smiles down at the pup and reaches out to pet his head and ears. "Hey there," he murmurs. "This must be like a glaring beacon to you, huh?" He waves the hand holding the cigarette, which he takes a long, /long/ drag from and then drops to the floor, grinding it out with his heel.

    So he's still got smoke in his mouth when Cael calls him 'love,' which makes him cough a bit and blink at her. "O-oh... fine. I'm fine." Is he blushing? Maybe a little. And grinning, foolishly. He leans down to pick up the discarded cigarette butts, carefully putting them in a ziploc bag--he found a use for those! "Just, ahh, trying to make sure we don't get any accidental archangel summonings, give the whole bit with Raphael the other day."

    He glances over, still grinning. "How're you?"

Cael Becker has posed:
    Cael clears her throat, trying to banish her embarrassment though - honestly, giving one of the things she meant to ask, she doubts that there's much point to that. "Not bad. Took the time visit a tattoo parlor with some stellar reviews..." She holds up her bandaged hand. "Hasn't been hurting as much as I expected. I'll make an appointment for the other later." She settles on the floor next to Jon - only to have Bear attempt to cheerfully crawl his way into both of their laps at once, tongue lolling out cheerfully, while Cael lets out a laugh at his antics. "Bear... seriously?"
    She lets her shoulder press against Jon's as she asks, "Did you sleep alright last night...? With Martin and Lady Grey both back at the Trisk..."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "Better than I thought I would," Jon says as he shifts around to actually sit properly and settle his back against the wall. "I don't usually sleep well at all, and it took a while to... /get/ to sleep. But once I managed, I..." He chews on his lip. "Gaea's been helping, I think," he says softly. "I don't have as many nightmares as I usually do. But She can't make the cot next to mine not be empty, or... bully me to actually put my phone down and go to sleep, you know? She can only help once I'm actually... there."

    He glances over at Cael. "Flames on the back of your hands, hmmm? It was helping, then? With the..." He vaguely gestures at his own knuckles.

Cael Becker has posed:
    "It was helping, yeah..." Cael confirms quietly. "So... I mean, it helps, and it looks cool, and hey - hopefully folks don't bother ask what it means," she says with a wry smile. "But I'll tackle that when it comes, I guess."
    She falls silent for a moment, her heart starting to thud faster in her chest as she works up the nerve to voice the next thought on her mind, her gaze locked down on the massive, white furred monster using her legs as a couch.
    "Gaea... can't make that cot not be empty, but- I mean... if it would help..." she offers quietly without looking up from the dog - but she can feel the color rushing to her cheeks.
    God, why is she so fucking awkward about this shit?

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon flushes a little too, and then slowly--so Cael can stop him if she wants--lifts the arm next to her, to wrap it around her shoulders. "Might be nice," he says, softly, "if... you're willing to come sleep in a cot instead of the nice, comfortable bed back at the Trisk. It, umm... I mean..." He laughs. "Do you know, I used to think 'sleeping together' literally meant sleeping together? Just, you know, in the same bed. And it sounded so... nice. Made things /really/ awkward with my first girlfriend." He shakes his head. "But I mean, it... /is/ nice? Having someone else in the bed. Safe, and comfortable."

    He eyes Bear, reaching out his free hand to pet the pup's head again. "Don't know if there's room for this one, though, unless we dragged in another cot. Or does he sleep on your feet?"

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Well. I do mean... literally," Cael clarifies quietly, as she leans into Jon's side, her head resting agsinst his shoulder. "And Bear would probably have to sleep on his dog bed for once. Maybe it can slide under the cots during the day?" Nice and out of the way.
    "As long as you're sure Martin wouldn't mind. I wouldn't try to... replace him. Just... fill in?" She takes a deep breath in, and lets it out slowly before she adds, "Though I have nightmares of my own. I mean- maybe it'd do more harm than good, if I end up waking you too many times," she says uncertainly.

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "I figured you meant that," Jon notes wryly. He reaches up to idly run his hand through her hair. "But you wouldn't be... replacing Martin. It's not... it doesn't work like that. You're both important to me, in different ways. I'm still not sure how it'll all shake out, it's still... early, but..." He lets out a long breath. "Martin and I have never really... we've always been /domestic/ more than 'out in the field together.' It's... different."

    After a moment, he says, softly, "I don't mind helping with nightmares. Even if it wakes me, it... I /want/ to help, love. To... be there for you." He sighs. "Even if I do worry you'll fly away when you really get your fire back... I /want/ to help you, even if... if someday you don't need me anymore." There, he said his own difficult thing.

Cael Becker has posed:

    "No, I wouldn't be," Cael agrees, immediately. "I just- I don't want anyone to get the impression that I was, or that I would try something like that. I wouldn't ever." She breaths a sigh as his fingers run through her hair, obviously enjoying the sensation - even as she flushes in response to his gentle, and encouraging words.
    "I'd definitely appreciate a little help with my nightmares," she admits quietly. They've gotten //so much worse// of late - though it was easy to imagine why. They were all under a lot of stress.
    As Jon falls silent, she pulls away enough to look towards his features, studying him with an almost puzzled look on her features. "You're not my //therapist// anymore, Jon," she points out bluntly. "So why wouldn't I need you? Just because I got well? You're not my //crutch,// that's bullshit."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "I mean..." Jon frowns across the tunnel, at the blank wall opposite them, across the train tracks. "That's... usually why people are my friends. They need me. I'm still not certain why Martin stuck around so long. I just..." He shakes his head. "I know why I love you. You're brilliant and brave, stubborn and strong, you... /care/ about people, so much, even if you don't want to show it. I don't... /quite/ know what you and Martin see in me. Not that I'm fishing for compliments," he adds quickly. "I just..."

    He sighs, and lets his head thud back against the wall behind them. "Sorry. I just... I've been thinking a lot, lately, about... my strengths and weaknesses. I wish I could get out of my own damn head, I really do, but every time I turn around there's another problem to solve and I can't figure out why I'm the one people trust to solve them. I tried to ask for help warding against the archangels and Lydia just... acted like I could put together the wards on my own. /Me/, bettering a ward that Zatanna put together." He reaches up his free hand to rub at his face.

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Well. Asking you's smarter than asking me," Cael offers in a dry voice. She rests her head back against him, going thoughtfully quiet for a moment before she offers quietly, "Why wouldn't I love you? You stood by me... even when I hurt you. Even when I shoved you away. Even with all your own troubles, and fears... You still wanted to help //me// when I was doing nothing but causing you pain."
    Tears start to spring into her eyes as she continues, while Bear lifts his head to lick at her hands. "You had the courage to take punishment - in the place of your friends, even know how awful it would be. Even if that did make me want to strangle you some," she admits, "it's still brave, and selfless. And... you're willing to die for the world, when you only just saved your daughter. You're willing to risk your whole future. And somehow you still get up every morning... and keep moving forward." She wipes at her eyes, then lowers her hands to rub at Bear's fur. "So why wouldn't I love you?
    "Idiot."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "I wish it felt brave and selfless," Jon murmurs. "I wish I didn't care what people think... but I /do/, and most of what I've heard is 'proud' and 'foolish' and 'weak.' Like I sought this out, like I /want/ to 'martyr' myself... or like I'm just giving up and giving in, like I /folded/ instead of making a tactical decision. Punishment for one, instead of punishment for five, and I was the one we could most afford to lose." He sighs. "I don't know if I'm... /willing/ to die for the world. Resigned to it, is the better statement. Water is my element, after all. I don't hammer at or burn down an obstruction... I accept that it's there and move around it, adapt to it."

    He leans his head down to rest it on Cael's. "I'm scared," he admits, quietly. "I'm so, so bloody /scared/. I mean..." He laughs. "That's the real reason I'm asking people to come down into the Underworld. Because I'm /terrified/ of doing it alone. Because I might mess up, I might fail, and I can't risk the universe like that. But not just that... I just... in the end, I'm scared, and I don't want to be alone. But I know everyone else is going to have it harder. They already do. It has to be hard, knowing someone you care about, someone you love, is going to die and there's nothing you can do about it."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "It tears me up," Cael admits quietly. "I hate it, you know how much I do." Her own arm goes around Jon now - pulling him to her side tightly, as if she'd never let go. "You won't be alone," she promises. "I'll do anything to get to you - take on any foe, beat any obstacle. I still don't really know how, but I won't stop until I figure it out."
    She lets out a bitter laugh before adding, "It's all so fucking unfair - but I swear, if it's in my power, I'll make us whole again. For you... for me. For Martin and Agnes." Reaching up with her opposite hand, she places it atop Jon's head, her fingers gently rubbing at his scalp. "I'll find a way to make us whole, because I'm too fucking stubborn to stop. Yeah?"

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon makes an odd sound when Cael reaches up to rub at his scalp, something like an actual cat. He closes his eyes and lets out a long sigh, actually... relaxing. "I know you will," he says softly. "I know. You're so brave. If I could just be half so brave..."

    He sighs again. "M'sorry for worrying you. Really am. I've been thinking about it and I think... I think maybe... when I surrendered to Michael, I kept thinking of you, behind me, with that gun. I knew you'd shoot him, if it came to that. I was terrified he'd hurt you. And I'd say not just you... Phoebe and Zatanna and Lydia and Meggan, too. But I thought... I thought about putting up a shield, and telling people to run. And I knew you wouldn't run. I knew you'd stay. And that's... that's why I..."

    He sobs, quietly, starting to cry. "It's not your fault. It's not. B-but I... all of this, /all/ of this... I burned his wing because he hurt you. I surrendered to keep you safe. I keep fighting because I know how /angry/ you'd be if I stopped. I /hate/ him, because he hurt /you/. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Cael Becker has posed:
    Cael lets out a laugh. "God, Jon, I haven't felt brave at all!" she protests. "I've been too scared to fight. I've been a mess. I don't think I could have gotten out of bed without you..."
    Bear nuzzles at them both worriedly, letting out his quiet whine - but getting no pets in return - at least not from Cael who continues to cling to Jon.
    "I fight for you... and for your family. And for the world. But I fight for you, and God I wish there was another way... Fuck this shit."
    Fuck Michael.

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon turns to wrap Cael in his arms and bury his face in her hair. He just... cries for a little while, clinging to her desperately, while the poor dog whines next to them.

    When he finally pulls back, though, he reaches out to rub Bear's head. "Good boy," he whispers, sniffling. "It's okay. Sorry."

    Another sniff and he swallows and looks at Cael, his eyes gone red. "Sorry," he repeats. "I've just been... /so/ scared." He looks up at the wall behind them. "I keep... I keep worrying Michael's just going to... show up and demand I go with him. I /know/ he said I was to come to him, but..." He swallows again. "What if he gets impatient?"

Cael Becker has posed:
    The pain Jon's words elicit is evident in the renewed tears that spring to her eyes, and the way her breath catches in her throat in response to the ache in her chest. She lets a sob - then holds her breath until she has it under control again, one hand brushing at her eyes. "Now that you have Agnes..." Michael said he would wait until then.
    "...you- you've been an honorable opponant, maybe we can find another way. Maybe Michael will-" He's going to die. Why does he have to be tortured, too? Why should anyone else go through that? Why couldn't she be the last?
    "You know how to fix things. It's in the underworld, it's in Du'at - do you still really need his statement?"

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "I don't know exactly what's wrong, Cael," Jon says softly. "And I /promised/. I /swore/. Please, love, I... if I go back on that now, just because we're both scared... that'll just burden my heart. I don't think they'll let me do much of anything down there if they weigh my heart and it's heavier than Ma'at's feather, still."

    He hesitates a moment, then adds, "I'm not going yet, though. He said 'when I am ready' and I'm /not/ ready. There are things to be done, battles to fight. And... and maybe, if we fail, I can... use this. Change the terms, buy us time. I don't know. But I'm sure as /hell/ not walking up there today."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "It's not going back on your word if you're released from it," Cael answers quietly, tightening her grip on Jon in her desperation. "I want to be the last person he hurts like that. I don't want it to happen to anyone else - least of all you. Why isn't death enough? Isn't that cruel enough?" She hides her face against Jon's chest, as tears stream from her eyes - even as she rails in frustration at her own weakness. She should be supporting Jon. She should be helping him.
    Not the other way around.
    Bear continues to whine, licking at the side of Cael's face, and nudging her with his nose.

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "Me dying isn't /Michael's/ idea. I'm not certain he even knows. It's part of Uriel's plan, whatever that is. I don't even know that it's Michael that'll kill me." Jon sighs, and leans back a little, to stroke her hair, peering down at her for a moment.

    "There must be balance for what I did to him. There must be... retribution. That is part of how he thinks. Who would you have replace me? He won't take you, Cael, you didn't /do/ anything to him. So... Lydia? Phoebe? Rien or Zatanna?" A pause. "You don't love them, so it won't hurt as much. We've had this conversation before."

    He swallows, and reaches down to place his hand on her cheek. "He hurt you, and he hurt Chas, and it infuriated me. So I was willing to do /whatever/ I had to do. I sought vengeance. But then that just prompted retribution from Michael, on me for hurting him and on the others for binding him." A pause. "I intend to make a /point/, Cael. I intend to let him hurt me, and have that be the /end/ of it. No more cycle of retribution, no more violence, no more pain and suffering. If he would take the high road, declare that he can forgive our transgressions? I'd accept that."

    He sighs. "But... don't you think he would have already, if he were going to at all?"

Cael Becker has posed:
    Speaking through her tears is hard, and Cael is forced to hold her breath - and take a few slow breathes to even manage a whisper. "I have to at least hope, don't I?" She shakes her head while still pressed tightly against him. "I don't know how to accept this." It hurts too much. It's too wrong - too unfair.
    "I'm not strong enough. Not as strong as you think."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon leans down to pull Cael's chin up and kiss her, lingering in it for a long moment. Then he regards her very seriously, blinking tears away.

    "Do you want me to find a way out? Really? Because... because if you really..." He shudders, and presses a hand to his chest. "This is hurting you more than it helps. More than it protects you. If you... if you want me to go back on..."

    He doubles over, still clutching at his chest, but finally manages, "/I'll break the deal/, if you ask. J-just..." He whimpers. That... /hurts/, evidently, to even say.

Cael Becker has posed:
    Tears are still streaking her cheeks as she tries to return the kiss - and as she presses her face to his chest once more. She lets out a sobbing laugh as Jon offers to break his word for her, and she feels another stab of pain in response.
    How can she make that choice? How can she choose between changing Jon, by breaking his integrity? Or changing Jon, by allowing his torture at the hand of her tormentor? How could anyone make that choice? How could Jon offer her a choice like that?
    "No," she finally breathes quietly, but it's all she can manage to say.
    She'll find a way. She'll find a way to release Jon. She has to.

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon laughs, almost in relief, as the pressure in his chest lifts. "I was willing. I really was. I am. But I can't do it for myself, that's... that's too selfish. I'm sorry. I don't... I'm not meaning to /pressure/ you, I just..."

    He pulls her back in to lean against his chest. "Gods, I hate this," he murmurs, voice a low rumble in his chest. "I hate everything about this. Except this." He tights his arms around her. "Except us. I suppose... well... what's the line? 'If it takes fighting a war for us to meet, it will have been worth it?'" Yes, he likes Hamilton. Yes, he's British. He also lives in New York, by choice, and it's catchy, okay?

Cael Becker has posed:
    As Jon expresses his hatred of everything that is happening, Cael responds by silently nodding against his chest. She continues to cry, freeing one of her hands from her grip of Jon so she can scratch at Bears fur, as the dog continues to try to console his distraught owner.
    It takes a while before she cries herself out, and finally rests still and silent against Jon - her one armed grip around him less desperate, and her fingers still playing at Bear's fur.
    The Hamilton reference, it seems, goes completely above Cael's head - or maybe she just wasn't in a position to comment on it.

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon just sits there and lets her cry, stroking her hair. He has a few more tears himself, but they just... fall, quietly, and he reaches up his free hand to wipe at them from time to time so they don't fall onto Cael's head.

    "I mean it," he says softly as the crying quiets. "All of this is worth it if it means I got to have this, here, with you. Even for just a few weeks, if everything goes wrong. It's worth it. /We're/ worth it. I love you more than I'm scared of dying, or scared of Michael."

    He rests his head against the wall, swallows, and says, in precisely the same tone and cadence he's said it every time: "I'm coming back, though. I'm coming back to you. I promise."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "You fucking better," Cael answers quietly. "'cuz otherwise, I have to find you in Du'at, kick your ass, and drag you back. And that could put a strain on things." Her lips quirk for a moment before she adds, "I love you, Jon. I hate this - but I love you. I'd go through anything for you - but God I'm scared. I don't know why anyone would think I'm strong, or brave. I'm terrified."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "You keep going, even though you're terrified," Jon says wryly. "Pretty sure that's the definition of bravery, love. I mean... how 'brave' is it for me to be out fighting right now, when I know I can't die? Doesn't make it foolish, or a bad idea, it just... isn't terribly brave." Even if he /is/ still scared, but it's just about as hard for him to see himself as brave as it is for Cael to see herself that way.

    "So... I think that's a 'yes' on you sleeping here with me? And a definite 'yes' on warding against archangels.' He peers down at her. "Why do I get the feeling you're going to go do something foolish and brave, though? For my sake?"

Cael Becker has posed:
    Cael's arm tightens around Jon once more, and her jaw clenches, as she fights the urge to burst into tears again, in response to his question. There's been enough tears - more than enough tears.
    "Because I have to try, don't I? Because I have to hope there's someway to get him to listen to reason. To- to hope there's some mercy, or pity in him." Hasn't she seen ample evidence that there is none?
    But how could she ever forgive herself if she doesn't try? "I have to try."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon hesitates. He wants to beg her not to do anything... to /order/ her not to do anything... and for a moment he just clutches her while his mind reels through possibilities.

    Then he swallows, and says, softly, "How can I possibly tell you not to do for me the same thing I've done for you?" He closes his eyes, thumps his head against the wall. "Just... be careful? I need you, Cael. If... if I lost you now..." He tightens his arms around her, terrified at the thought.

Cael Becker has posed:
    "I don't intend to die," Cael answers, her voice still uncharacteristically soft. "I'll come back to you. It'll be okay..." Will it? Will any of it ever be okay? "I'll be okay."
    She wraps her arm around Bear now - hugging both her oversized-pup and Jon to her, as she does her best to remain calm.

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "You think you can handle it? Seeing him again? Facing him?" Jon lets himself be pulled closer, tries to let the tension and terror in him drain out. "I mean... I think you can, but only you can know that for certain."

    He holds back useless platitudes of what he'd do to Michael if Cael even got /hurt/ again, facing him. He's supposed to be trying to /stop/ that cycle, right?

Cael Becker has posed:
    Cael doesn't answer immediately - but this time not because of overwhelming emotion. No, she's trying to sort out her answer - to decide if she really can face the Archangel Michael without collapsing under the weight of the encounter, and her trauma. "...I have to," she finally says. "So I will. I'll be alright." She has to.
    Should she walk to St. Patrick's with a literal white flag in her hand? Just for the melodrama? For a moment, a ghost of a smile crosses over her lips. It was a stupid idea - but it amused her.

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon laughs softly. "Oh, my love. And you think you aren't brave." He leans down to press a kiss to the top of her head.

    "Well," he says, "if you're going to insist on doing this... then you ought to have a good meal and some rest first." Even if he doesn't want her to, he's going to support her decision. She has the right, after all. If Jon made the bargain partly on her behalf, she has the right to at least /try/ to undo it; he only wishes it hadn't taken him so long to see that.

    He waves a hand and the glowing writing on the wall above them disappears. "Fancy a working dinner? I really do need to get these wards done, to make sure the archangels can't just barge in whenever they please. I only came down here because I was having trouble focusing without nicotine."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "I'm not sure I have much a stomach for food right now," Cael response honestly, but she finally starts to pull away from him, wiping at her face. "Fuck, I must be a mess," she admits.
    "Bear... Oh, you good boy, I'm okay. I'm okay, Bear," she promises him, leaning in to scratch at the dog, and give him another hug. "Yeah - see? There you go. I'm okay." Mostly.
    After a deep breath in, she lets it out slowly. "I didn't actually have something else I wanted to ask you about, Jon. ...about Agnes? I mean - she's been through a lot, yeah? And now- she finally has a family, and she learns... well. She might lose you. I don't know that I'm very good with kids, and- well. Who knows, long term, how things are really going to... turn out. I don't want to become part of her life, and then maybe just... I don't. We just don't know how things'll turn out in the future, even without all this... shit. I just- I guess what I'm saying is, I feel like she needs support now, but I don't want to make commitments that could fall through someday so- what role do you think I should have? Should I just leave things to Martin?"
    All of this is said with her gaze locked onto Bear, and her finger running slowly, and repetitively through his fur.

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "Oh good lord, Cael. You're over-thinking things." Jon smiles at her. "Be her friend, for right now. You're not making a commitment to anything else. Martin and I are her parents, you don't have to do that... but it's /good/ for kids to have adults in their lives that aren't their parents. Intergenerational friendships are deeply important to society, and we ought to be encouraging them. I mean... she /needs/ someone who'll take her to the hair salon and get the oven messy making s'mores, and that kind of thing, you know?"

    He sighs. "Martin knew her mother. Martin... will remember the pregnancy, eventually. Martin's /been/ a father, he's prepared for that. Even if anything happens to me, Martin will be there, and she'll know that soon if she doesn't already. You don't need to do that. But what you're already doing? That's good. It's healthy. For both of you, really. I mean, with kids... just think of how you would've wanted someone to treat /you/ when you were thirteen. Treat her like a person, treat her with respect. Maybe suggest that she not, you know, run off and start smoking or join a gang or cult or whatever." He smirks. "We're probably both terrible examples."

Cael Becker has posed:
    Cael listens in silence, keeping her gaze focused on Bear - who seems to be thoroughly enjoying the attention he was getting. She nods her head in response, offering a quiet, "Okay." She knows Jon's probably right - //entirely// right - but all of this was so new to her, and it was hard to know what to do with the fact that there was suddenly a child in her life - even if the girl was on the periphery, in a way.
    Scratching at Bear's fur she finally adds, "I just- I was about her age when my mother died. I remember what it's like to feel like you're alone in the world. I mean, I know Martin wouldn't do that to her, I just-" She takes a deep breath in, and lets it out again before adding, "Yeah, okay. Overthinking things. That's me, alright."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "She's got SHIELD, if nothing else. I mean... she's an asset, in a way. She's the next Archivist, and I promised the Archive to SHIELD. It'll be up to her whether she joins or not, but... SHIELD can give her training, and purpose, and /backup/, that I never had, and with more... compassion and decency than my grandmother afforded my cousin."

    Jon sighs. "Also, I'm pretty sure Martin took the dog thinking of Agnes. she'll have Lady Grey, if /nothing/ else." He smirks, and runs a hand through Cael's hair. "I... know it's a lot. That's... why I said what I said, earlier. I know /I'm/ a lot. I don't expect you to take on my whole life, or be around forever. We're still figuring this out. But I'm here, for however long you'll have me."

Cael Becker has posed:
    Cael turns her head to look back towards Jon, studying him for a moment in silence. Her gaze drops back to Bear again, however, befoe she starts to speak. "I just... I don't want to fuck her up - because she's important to you, and you're important to me. Because she's a kid, and she deserves a decent chance at a life. If something did happen to you, and I just turned and walked back out of her and Martin's life like neither of them mattered... I wouldn't feel right by her, or by you. Or - you know, when you come back, and all of this is over... if I only acknowledge you, and ignore her- that'd be wrong. That'd be telling her she doesn't matter, and I think that would strain things between us, eventually.
    "So I have to take on your life - to at least some degree. I just- I don't really understand how to do that. To what degree. I guess we'll figure it out, like you said."
    Looking to Jon again she adds, "I'm here for however long //you'll// have me, you know."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "We'll figure it out," Jon agrees. "I just... I just mean... if you ever..."

    Oh, who is he kidding? She's willing to face down /Michael/ for him, however baffling it still is. He sighs and leans down to kiss her forehead.

    "No more second-guessing," he decides. "Life is messy, and that's the point. For now, we've got to get through the next few weeks." He huffs out a long breath, then moves to stand, trying to pull her up with him. "You may not be hungry, but I'm /famished/. And I really do need to figure out these wards. Do you have work to do or could you... stick around?" He smiles at her almost shyly.

Cael Becker has posed:
    "I can stick around," Cael agrees, after Jon pulls her to her feet. She leans in towards him to give him a brief, fond kiss, keeping her hand in his and giving it a squeeze. "Who knows - maybe I'll even find my appetite." She takes a deep breath in, letting it out slowly as she makes sure she has her emotions well and truly under control before she starts striding back the way she'd initially come from, Bear trotting happily at her heels.