A New Scheme
| A New Scheme | |
|---|---|
| Date of Cutscene: | 08 March 2022 |
| Location: | Nowhere Specific |
| Synopsis: | Rocket figures out the potential profit he can make via Cameo. |
| Cast of Characters: | Rocket |
With the Guardians of the Galaxy currently stuck on Earth - which is all Quill's fault - money isn't the easiest to come by. Sure, you can blast open an ATM machine for all the greenbacks you want, but where's the fun in that? Aside from the blasting part, that is.
Well, Rocket (not a Raccoon), pilot, engineer, and gun genius, has already been seen on Earth video sites back when his teammates coaxed him into doing a video promoting their 'Go See Space!' campaign or whatever it was.
Now, a new thing shows up on the popular Cameo site. Some claim the subject of it is just CGI. Others aren't so sure what it is, but it sure does look like a curiosity.
'It' is none other than Rocket, with the following video showing him in his orange jumpsuit, seated on a living room chair that's way too large for him, the rest of the background suggesting an apartment living room. Notable are a few piles of fast food wrappers and other trash, empty pizza boxes, a large gun or two, and a pair of tighty-whitey underwear dangling from a doorknob.
"Listen up, Humies. This is Rocket, famous for being the smartest, handsomest, and best pilot of the Guardians of the Galaxy. I need units, and you've got 'em. At least, you've got dollars, and as long as we're stuck on this flarkin' mudball..eh. You get the idea."
"Anyway, seeing as you guys love wastin' your money on useless scut, I figured, why not come up with a way to get some of your money in return for, you know, a short video thingy. You want me to call your best friend a piece of filthy, scutstained grudscum? I'm your guy. You want me to call /you/ a scruff-chewing dumbscut who should just flark off? Again, I'm your guy."
"I can tell you to have an unhappy birthday. I can look at a picture of your offspring and let you know how ugly they are. I can even have Groot tell you some scut about this and that. You probably wouldn't understand him, but that's your problem, not mine."
"So, if you got the gnords and the money, fill out the form on your screen. It ain't like I got any better flarkin' things to do around here. I'll be waiting, you sons of chogs. Get in early, because if I get a whole bunch of these you can bet I'm gonna raise the krutackin' prices on you real fast."
Videos are $100. For now.
