11893/Wonderland-Related Trauma

Wonderland-Related Trauma
Date of Scene:	03 July 2022
Location:	Roof - Titan's Tower
Synopsis:	Jon follows Madison to the roof to shake her out of her funk with geeky references and logic.
Cast of Characters:	Madison Evans, Jonathan Sims

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Madison Evans has posed:
    Madison had done an admirable job of keeping a smile on her features, and insisting that everything would be okay - of course it would. They were the Titan's! They'd find a way to get Terry back //and// save Wonderland. She'd watched Kian and Gar moved off to medical to deal with their head traumas, and made sure Kaida had something to eat - and then the world's most cheerful Jedi... disappeared.
    Not litterally - she hadn't gone invisible this time. No, she just snuck off to find her way off to the roof, staring off across the city whole tears stream down her cheeks. She leans up against the protective railing, with her back to the stairs and the elevator, arms crossed together as she quiet cries.
    Why did everything have to be going //so wrong//? It just wasn't fair.

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon's exhausted, given everything, but he takes some time to make sure that, yes, Garfield and Kian are okay in medical and Caitlin--or someone--has a handle on the rest. He notices that Madison's missing in the middle of all of this, and gives himself one more task: to check up on the teenager, since he /did/ kind of accidentally traumatize her with his heroics and all. He's been able to see in her aura that she's not taking it well.

    They are rather conspicuously missing an arm when they come up to the roof, crossing past the recreation areas to where Madison stands there crying. They clear their throat, and say softly, "Would you like to talk about it?" So she can tell them to just go away. Teenagers do that sometimes.

Madison Evans has posed:
    Hearing the footsteps behind her, Madison lifts her hands to her cheeks, pushing her tears away - but there's no hiding the redness in her eyes, or the runny mess her nose has turned into. Why doesn't she have one of those stupid little pocket-packs of kleenex on her? "I'm alright," she fibs, glancing back at Jon for a moment, then staring off across the city again. "Just- just worried about Terry, I guess. About how we'll get him back. And about- well, about Kian and Gar," she explains.
    She's silent for a moment before asking in a quiet voice, "Does it always suck this much?"

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon quirks a brow at the statement of 'I'm fine' with an expression that plainly states that he can tell that, no, she's /not/ fine. He fiddles with something at his belt for a moment and comes up with a handkerchief--naturally he's the sort to have a handkerchief--that he hands over to Madison with a slight smile.

    "You'll have to be more specific. Does saving the world always suck this much? Being a hero? Having friends?" A pause. "The world? The world /definitely/ always sucks this much. That's why groups like the Titans even exist."

Madison Evans has posed:
    "Having friends doesn't suck," Madison counters immediately as she takes the handkerchief - and wipes her nose messily. "Moving out here from California and NOT having friends - that sucked. Having friends is great."
    She stares moodily across the city as she adds, having friends get hurt or whatever? That sucks. It sucks a //lot.// But- but he's going to be alright, yeah? Terry?" Isn't that what Jon said?
    "How do you //know,// though?"

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon waves his hand at his eyes. "I can see it, quite literally. I... well. I have magical Sight, for one thing, and I'm an empath. I can tell that you're not fine by your aura." He smiles at her. "Usually yours is bright and shining, but now it's... dulled. Something's happened, hmm? Something quite bad, and more than just Terry staying in Wonderland."

    They sigh and go to lean on the railing, peering out at the city themself. "But I also... I'm the avatar of the goddess Ma'at. She's, ahh, not terribly well-known now, but she's the ancient Egyptian goddess of justice, order, truth, balance. Law and morality, too. If you've ever seen a statue of Lady Justice, Ma'at was the original version of that, with the scales. One of her main roles is in the weighing of the heart--the judgement of the soul after death. As part of... enacting her will in the world, I can see threads of fate. Kind of... lines around people, that show me connections, potential paths, where they've gone, where they're likely to go."

    He glances over at Madison. "Terry's fate is tied up in Wonderland, and always has been, but it's not... the ties he has with all of you are just as strong, if not stronger. The Titans will not /let/ him stay where he is, even had Fate decreed he was supposed to stay there. It's not clear /what/ his fate is, nor Wonderland's, but this is a temporary stop on a longer journey."

Madison Evans has posed:
    Madison listens in silence, nodding at the explination - but as Jon talks about serving an Egyptian Goddess, the teen's shoulders tense, and she hugs her own arms tightly across her middle. "I was just in Egypt," she remarks, her voice still unusually quiet for the normally exhuberant teen. "We, umm- the trip got canceled. We had to come home earlier. It was, uhh- Terry rabbit holed out to Egypt to pick me up."
    She's silent a moment before adding, "He helped me. I wish I knew how to help him."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "You're a student at Happy Harbor, right? I... heard what happened, with Dr. MacIntyre. I assume you were... there, for that?" Jon frowns at Madison for a moment.

    Then he says in a soft voice, "Do you want to talk about it? I know a lot of people... might not believe you saw whatever you saw, but... I will. Trust me, I will."

Madison Evans has posed:
    Madison nods a silent confirmation, tears starting to streak down her cheeks again. "We tried to save her," she confides. "I tried. I- there wasn't anything we could do. It was all- I was so //helpless,//" she says with obvious frustration, a flare of anger showing for a moment in her aura.
    "I thought- I thought if I trained with the Titans maybe I wouldn't be helpess like that again."
    But then- she watches Jon get swalled. And Terry...
    She shakes her head, and dabs at her eyes with the handkerchief, careful to avoid the snotty-bits.

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon drums his fingers on the railing for a moment, considering what to say. Clearly the girl's at a sort of crossroads, and like it or not, he's an adult superhero and that probably holds /some/ kind of cachet with a budding teen hero. So it's a moment before he speaks.

    "I'm sorry," they say finally. "I'm sorry that I put you in that position, today. I didn't mean to; I truly didn't. Trust me, I... I know how /horrible/ it is, to stand there watching someone else get hurt. It's... kind of what I do, a lot of the time." They bite back a bitter chuckle. That's not going to help, just now.

    He sighs. "I've... had a lot of times in my life when I've felt that way. When someone else was dead or dying and I--I felt like I couldn't do anything. Like I was helpless." A pause. "The thing I've learned is that you're never /truly/ helpless. There's always /something/ you can do, even if it's just getting away so that you can tell someone else what happened, or helping someone else get to safety. And if you're held in place, unable to do anything at all--you can choose your own reaction. You can choose to let it fuel you to do better in the future."

    He smiles at her. "I mean... you don't want Terry to be gone for good, right? So don't let him be. Get with the other Titans and find a better solution." A pause. "I mean, you didn't just stand there staring at the Jabberwock, right? You all destroyed it, and got me out."

Madison Evans has posed:
    "I guess so," Madison says softly, still looking away from Jon, out over the city. "Doctor MacIntyrre - she told us to run, too. And I- I couldn't. I didn't. I tried to save here, and even when it did //nothing,// I just- I couldn't face the idea of running away, I just- I //stood// there. One of the other students had to, uhh- to drag me out." After a shakey breath she adds, "Don't tell my mom?" She knows how her mom would react to that information - and it wouldn't be good.
    "And then today, you told us to run and I just- I wanted to jump through after you. I really, really wanted to."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "But it was better that you ran," Jon says softly. "I know that sounds awful, but there's a term--tactical retreat. Have you, umm... do the Titans teach any of that stuff? Philosophy of warfare, and that kind of thing?"

    After a pause, they go on, "The point being... it's a fool's errand to throw live troops after dead ones just to stay in an unwinnable battle. Better to retreat, regroup, and come at the enemy from a different angle. To get more force multipliers--umm, that's a term that means basically... something that increases the effectiveness of your troops, so it's as if you have more than you do." A brief smirk. "Having the high ground, in a melee battle, is a force multiplier. Obi-Wan was right about that."

    He glances at Madison again. "That's what you did. You retreated, and regrouped, and came at the Jabberwock with more power. You wouldn't have defeated it if you'd jumped through after me, even if you hadn't forgotten your name. You would've just been eaten, too. I know the heroic impulse is to help /immediately/, but sometimes the help has to wait, however briefly, in order to /work/."

Madison Evans has posed:
    "They have me studying tactics now - yeah," Madison confirms. "I mean, I was training before. And working out - but this is- ...a lot more. Physical works out, and swordsmanship, and tactics, and time in the Danger Room, and lots of stuff," she explains. She scuffs her toe at the floor before asking softly, "How are you supposed to do that, though? How're you supposed to retreat and just- just- leave a friend to //die//?" she asks, tears springing up into her eyes again. "How am I supposed to do that?"
    And why has she been asked to do that //twice// already? At least with Terry - he's just asleep!

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    For a moment, Jon doesn't answer. For a long moment, they just stand there staring out across Metropolis.

    "You're a /teenager/," he says finally, voice strained. "You /shouldn't/ have to. That the world is so f--messed up that /children/ think they have to fight to make it better..." His hand clenches into a fist and he takes a deep breath.

    He lets the breath out on a long sigh. "But you're out there, fighting, so you... you honor their sacrifice. You continue to fight, in their name. Like Rogue One, right? They all die, but their sacrifice gives the Rebellion the Death Star plans. I watched that again recently, and all I could think was how much Leia must have been hurting, knowing her people had died for those plans. But she went on, even giving herself up to let R2 get away to Tatooine, to get the plans to Obi-Wan. Because it's all in service of something bigger."

    Finally they look at her again. "And then even Obi-Wan sacrificed himself so Luke and Leia and Han could get away. And what'd Luke do after that? He didn't fall apart or give into feeling helpless. He hopped into a fighter and honored all those sacrifices, and destroyed the Death Star. Because that's what heroes /do/. We... keep going, however hard things are."

    A smile. "You trust the Force, I suppose, hmm?"

Madison Evans has posed:
    Madison listens in silence, and when Jon finishes - she doesn't respond. Not with words, anyways - she starts to cry instead, big, messy tears trailing down her cheeks and fall on the railing. And then, abruptly, she's not hugging herself as she instead turns in towards Jon, to wrap her arms around them - and sob into their shirt.
    It all just sucks //so much.//
    "I- I- I- I thought you were dead!"

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "I know," Jon says softly, and after a moment's hesitation wraps his arms around Madison with a sigh. He's /going/ to stop being touch-averse if it kills him. (It won't kill him.)

    "I'm sorry. I truly am. I just... I knew I could keep my name in the Wood of No Names. I didn't think the rest of you could. I knew the Jabberwock wanted me, and might be distracted enough to ignore the rest of you. I..."

    A pause. "I thought I could take it. I thought I'd be good enough, fast enough, and I think maybe normally I might have been, enough to hold it off while the rest of you went and got help. But I... I've been going through a rough patch, lately, and I /wasn't/ good enough. Or maybe... maybe it was just fate. I mean, in the end, that's how I found Alais, how I knew how to help her and the Red King. And whatever solution you come up with for Wonderland, it'll be better than some poor sod dreaming it up out of grief. I... I just couldn't let that stand."

Madison Evans has posed:
    It takes Madison a while to cry herself out - and she doesn't try to talk until she's done, straightening back up, and cleaning her face on the handkerchief again. "I, uhh... I made a mess of your shirt, and your handkerchief," she says a bit apologetically. "It's got all my germs on it, and everything. I could have my mom wash it for you? Or I could put it in the Tower laundry?" she offers.
    She gives another sniffle, and takes a deep, shakey breath in. "What do you mean a rough patch? Everything okay?"

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon chuckles. "I have my own laundry, no worries. If I take it to the Astral Plane, I can wash it with magical water, even." His smile's a little wan. "I'm having trouble doing magic. It's... well. I'm conflicted, about a lot of things. I'm not doing terribly well. Like I said before, I'm... muted. Tired. Grey. When I'm not bursting with rebellious anger."

    A sigh. "I... ran into an old nemesis, a couple of weeks ago. He's dead, but he defeated me, first. Locked me in a nightmare of some of my worst memories. It wasn't pleasant. But... but I /think/ I helped? Wonderland, I mean, I... I think I helped. I think /we/ helped. That's... good." He frowns, like he's unsure.

Madison Evans has posed:
    "I'm sorry that happened," Madison says seriously. "I, umm... you should talk to someone. Are you talking to someone? I mean - my mom says you should talk about things that're bothering you and you shouldn't feel ashamed about it. She, umm- she took me to see a therapist after- ...after Egypt."
    She takes another deep breath in, letting it out slowly before she adds, "I hope we helped. I... didn't like the feel of the woods when we went behind the dream. All that sadness... And the stuff it was showing us."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon smiles down at Madison, a warm smile that touches his eyes. "Your mother is absolutely right about that. I have a therapist--I used to /be/ a therapist, actually. And we generally make sure we have a therapist, ourselves. It can be a difficult job, listening to other people's trauma and hard times. So, yes, I'm talking to someone. That's a big part of the reason I was able to come help Wonderland instead of lying in bed all day."

    They shake their head. "I didn't like the feel of the wood either. But that's gone now. Whatever solution the Titans come up with for Wonderland, it'll have to be better than what was." A sigh. "Although... it /is/ a fine example of what beautiful things can come about as an expression of grief. It's okay to not be okay... so long as that doesn't paralyze you."

Madison Evans has posed:
    "I guess so," Madison agrees. "I mean - I've been training real hard, ever since- I just... I want to make sure I always know what to do. That I'm as strong as I can be. That I know there's //nothing// else I could have done. That I was as prepared as anyone could... expect me to be, you know? And then- then maybe next time... I'll get it right."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    A moment's hesitation, and then Jon reaches out to grip Madison's shoulder. "You got it right /this time/," he says firmly. "I'm alive. I'm alive, and I'm fine. You /saved/ me. And we saved Wonderland. And we're going to save Terry. Okay?"

    He swallows, and then smiles again. "You think you can go talk to your friends? I'm sure they could use whatever ideas you might have, about fixing this."

Madison Evans has posed:
    "Yeah, I guess," Madison agrees - giving Jon a small, tight smile. "We gotta figure it out, right? Terry's counting on us, and his family's counting on us."
    She takes a deep breath in, letting it out in a loud huff. "Though, I mean. Lots of the other Titans are //way// smarter than me. But maybe I'll come up with something helpful." She lifts the soiled handkerchief to offer it back to Jon as she adds wryly, "Sorry it's such a mess."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon takes the handkerchief and stuffs it back in his belt pouch. "It's seen worse," he says. "It went through the Astral desert with me for forty days. My version of a towel, I suppose." Does Madison even get that reference?

    "I... should be getting home. I'm pretty beat. There were no actual digestive juices inside the Jabberwock but that doesn't mean it was, ahh... well. It wasn't pretty. Or easy."

Madison Evans has posed:
    "...but it's not big enough to cover your head?" Madison replies uncertainly. "Wouldn't do you much good if you went up against the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal," she points out reasonably. She flashes Jon a more genuine smile now. "I'm going to see if someone's made the hot chocolate. And the tea. And the coffee - and then we'll see... we'll figure out how to save Terry. What do you want to drink?"

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon beams at her. "Ahh, but, I could surely conjure up a barrier between us, or a proper towel, if I ever came upon such a beast. And I could surely carve my name upon its memorial with magic, so it would think it's already eaten me. I am a /wizard/, young Ms. Evans, and wizards specialize in outsmarting their foes. And the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal /is/ a terribly /stupid/ creature."

    Yes, yes, he admitted he's a wizard. He used the Gandalf quote, he pretty much has to admit to it now.