14425/Two O'Neils and a clownette walk into a room

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Two O'Neils and a clownette walk into a room
Date of Scene: 15 March 2023
Location: April and Harley's Apartment.
Synopsis: Harley is practicing her coaching methods for roller derby with April and Terry comes in with NEWS. Time for some hardcore training for the roller derby team in the TITANS TOWER.
Cast of Characters: April O'Neil, Harley Quinn, Terry O'Neil

April O'Neil has posed:
It's another lovely Wednesday in New York City, or at least, April assumes it is. She doesn't hear any lasers down the street, no giant robots stomping around. Hasn't seen a ninja in weeks. Sure, normally that wouldn't mean anything, because _ninja_. But they tend to try to kidnap her right away, so... no ninjas. By process of elimination.

And so April is enjoying this fine day. By staying inside wearing a faded and oversized New York Rangers jersey and a pair of yellow and black striped knee socks as she sprawls back on the living room couch, eyes focused on her tablet, finger idly scrolling.

Twitter. It must be, given the rhythm of scroll scroll... siiiiiiigh. Scroll. Scroll.

She's not really doomscrolling because that implies she's reading her feed. She's just scrolling and letting the words slide by. "I should turn on the TV. Watch a movie."

She says it out loud without thinking, because she's just... not thinking really. She's up and out of bed, but not really paying attention to... well, anything. It's one of those lazy Wednesdays.

But how long can April being lazy /really/ last?

Harley Quinn has posed:
Lazy Wednesdays are the best. Just lounging at home, not doin' anything. Maybe watch a re-run of some old movie! Harley has been hinting that it's time for a Goonies re-run soon so that might be on menu sometime soon!

Yet speaking of the clownette. She has been unusually quiet this morning. Where even is she? Is she inside her room? The door is closed which means that maybe, just maybe April will have a quiet, lazy Wednesday for a change.


A shrill whistle that seems right out of the army is suddenly heard from within the confines of Harley's room! "ALRIGHT, YOU MAGGOTS!" who is Harley talking to? "Line up! Chests up, asses out. Give me your meanest look...!" all this with that Brooklyn accent! "Yea, that's right..."

Was that whip crack?

Exploration might reveal what is the clownette standing in front of a full-body mirror, dressed in shorty-shorts of a black color, white striped shirt and a cap on her head. A very coach style! There's a whip on her hand and the two hyenas are sitting behind Harley, watching.

Wait, Harley has a full-body mirror in her room!?

April O'Neil has posed:
April's curiosity is always getting her into trouble. Yes, usually it's that aforementioned ninja kidnapping. Or drug runner kidnapping, or... there's a lot of would-be kidnapping.

Harley shrilly whistling and... cracking a whip? That's /far/ more interesting than ninjas.

Also possibly more dangerous. But... who /is/ she yelling at?

That bedroom door slowwwwwly opens as April tries to pry it open to peek without interrupting her roommate. She breathes a little sigh of relief. Bud and Lou are not in the line of... fire? Line of whip? ...Wait, Harley /does/ have a full-body mirror! April keeps checking her outfits in /her/ room via selfies! ...Yes. That is why so many selfies. Totally.

"Uhhhh... Haaaaarley? Are you... okay?" She presses her lips into a thin line, doing some math. Coach outfit. Whistle. Whip.

"...I don't think the team is... motivated by whipping? I mean, that's /got/ to be distracting..."

Terry O'Neil has posed:
Curiosity is an O'Neil trait. As is getting into trouble. Since getting laid off from The Daily Planet due to the liability of having a publicly-known superhero on staff, Terry hasn't had a lot of things to occupy him outside of the superhero world. He commands a comfortable income from trading chocolate with Kian's people every month, so the Chehsire has had plenty of time to give loose rein to his curiosity in his idle time.

This spells trouble.

The Cheshire cat perches on the fire escape, a few steps up from Harley's window. He is a gentleman, so he always asks if someone is decent before breaking and enter-- coming through a window (ths does not appy to criminals, who are never decent), but this time he stops dead in his tracks before calling out, because the sound of *whips* comes out of Harley's window.

And April's voice.

The Cheshire cat stops, raises his eyebrows, and whispers "... well, it was bound to happen sooner or later!" he says, and remains frozen outside-- afraid to move lest he be heard, but also afraid of hearing what may come next.

What to do? What to do?

Harley Quinn has posed:
Do you know what happens when you interrupt a clownette in the middle of her training? "April, you slacker! Get in line! I have seen you skipping on the roller derby practice matches, but no moouh!" because Harley is a METHOD ACTOR.


She has turned to look at April now, hand on a hip, eyes turning to the whip. She frowns a little. "Fine!" and tosses it away. Of course that the hyenas jump over and snatch it, biting and fighting with one another as they play with their new toy. So much for discipline! But then again the clownette's fury is now on April.

"But I have decided we awhe goin' to be takin' this seriously from now on. You are supposed to be the ace!" she points at April. "So we gonna make those hips something to die foh.."

April O'Neil has posed:
Her cousin arriving on the fire escape would normally be the peak of April's curiosity. Or at the very least, those finely honed reporter's instincts would notice him, surely! Surely. But then, she's rather distracted, isn't she?

She sure is! Because she's recoiling from that expert whipcrack, "Ahh! What line?! I'm the only one here!!" Not that it stops her from shuffling and practically dancing further into Harley's room, trying to not knock anything over.

And then Harley's tossing the whip aside and... "Bud! Lou! That's not... well... it _is_ leather..." She frowns thoughtfully. It's probably fine, right?

April's mouth falls open, "I... my hips are fine! Like /fiiiiiiiine/!!" She puts on her best 'April heard some construction worker catcall this at her last week' tone for that extended fine.

"Besides! I don't think distracting hips is a winning strategy for roller derby! I mean, that's not a team effort! It's all about _teamwork_!!"

Oh, how she'd give anything for a sudden distraction right now.

Terry O'Neil has posed:
Oh, look, it's Distraction O'Neil. Having heard enough to realize he is not accidentally stumbling into a Letter To The Editor moment, the Cheshire pokes his head through the window.

"The hips don't lie, Harls, and Ape has the fine O'Neil features which are the envy of all who survey them- present company excepted."

He slips through the window and lands on the floor, in a crouch, before straightening up. "I thought I heard whipping going on- Harls, are you trying to elbow in on Catwoman's turf? You know she doesn't like competition!"

Harley Quinn has posed:
"Oh, I do a lot moouh than just elbowin' when I meet up with Catwoman...." And yes, Harley has that kind of devilish, mischievous smile that tells a lot. And at the same time tells nothing! But hol' up..., a new challenger appears?!

"What is this? A O'Neil gathering?! Are you gunning for my coaching spot?" She points a finger accusingly at Terry and hmphs. "I will let you know I won't go down without a fight!" she jests, then pause, "But anyways, we are talkin' roller derby. That you are supposed to be helpin' with! I need a cheerleading team ready..." is she saying Terry will be part of the cheerleaders?

"But I have got a plan to put the team in shape..." She rubs her hands together, "And it's gonna involve the Titans.." oh no. "We will talk later Terry. You know, to keep the SURPRISE."

Then back to April. She inspects the hips, "So you sayin' you are ready for the big leagues..?" she asks. Such a loaded question!

April O'Neil has posed:
April's eyebrows perk... that devilish grin and glint of eyes has April so /very/ skeptical... because it's so obvious, but... is it obvious obvious, or tricky obvious?

And then April's nearly jumping as Terry peeks in the window, "Ahhh! Terry! You're... we... have a door!" She glowers, "Or do you /normally/ hang out on the fire escape?"

Her eyes glint. Two can play the suggestive eye glimmer game, Harley! April's just not as good at it.

Her eyebrows perk and she hums out, "Oh! Is Terry supposed to cheerlead? I've still got pompoms in my closet and a matchin- ...and an outfit!"

Those hips cock as Harley focuses on them again and rolls her eyes, "Hey, I'm ready for anything, Harls. You can't scare me!"

That's a lie. Harley can totally scare her, but April has this habit of leaping /towards/ danger when her brain should tell her to stop.

It'll be fine. How bad can it get? It's just roller derby! ...And training with the Titans? ...Well, there's probably nothing in the rule books about not training with super heroes.

Terry O'Neil has posed:
"Oh, cheerleading? I am ON it, girl!" the cheshire laughs and stratches, "I've got short shorts just for the role! But I wanted to talk to you about that, actually! You see, I told Jinx about the roller derby team and we thought it might be a cool idea to bring the team over to the Tower and have a game at the Danger--er, Training Room!"

He gives April a wink, "C'mon, cousin, the only difference between a window and a door is size. And we all know that size doesn't matter!"

"But- you could have the training there, and Ape can get a proper tour of the tower, too. Since she is usually too busy being a hot shot action reporter to come and visit her poor, unemployed cousin who is a victim of the media's bias against superheroes!" he winks at April.

Harley Quinn has posed:
How much of it is true? Is Harley just a looney or there's trickery genius under all the silliness? She just eyebrow waggles at April at the skeptical look but the clownette doesn't throw the game away.

At least not about Catwoman! Because Terry goes and spills out his beans about the Danger Room training! "OMG, Terry!" hands flail up above her head. "Now she knoooowssssss..." there goes the surprise! Harley dramatically sighs and places the back of her hand atop her forehead. "I had this whole moment prepared about dropping this BOMB on the team in training but now ....? I know April, she's gonna spill the deets to the rest of the team.."

But then Terry is accepting to cheerlead so Harley's mood improves instantly. Nothing like being mercurial about your moods. "Then we are set, I want you theah when we go to the Tower, Terry! And dressed appropriately."

"But anyway, yes. My big plan is to bring us ovah to the tower to train. Last year we got our ass kicked by the Tenderloin district but no moouh. 2023 is the year of the Queens!" Brooklyn Queens, that is.

"Of course we still need a few moouh players ..., I think Ivy might be in. Theah's April, and I will convince Jinx. There's this kid I saw in Gotham that shows some potential too, sorta like a secret weapon. She doesn't talk though which is perfect.." she's starting to get a bit carried away but then catches herself.

And looks at the O'Neils. "You know, why don't you guys get a joint podcast going, or a news reporting team? The O'Neil News or somethin' like that."

April O'Neil has posed:
April just _deadpan_ stares at Terry, lips pressed in a thin line, eyebrow quirking ever so slightly. "Oh. Do /we/ know that?"

She groans as there's mention of a 'Danger Room', "That's... I mean, okay, that definitely sounds like a name for a room Harley would want to do Roller Derby Bootcamp in. But... like... how dangerous _is_ this room?"

Eyes track back and forth between cheshire and harlequin, clearly doing calculus... are they in cahoots? Probably. Almost certainly. Because it's such a fun word. Cahooooooots.

Eyes lock on Harley though, "Wait, dressed appropriately? Or he should be dressed /cheerleader/ appropriately? There's a difference. We can't let him slide and charm his way out of making sure he does the right one!"

She blinks, one eyebrow lifting... Harley always knows the most interesting Gotham people. And one who doesn't talk? Very interesting. That ol' newshound itch is acting up. Buuut... well, she'll let Harley make the introductions. At the DANGER ROOM... why does she keep imagining a heavy guitar riff?

Eyes lock on Terry again and April's grinning /oh/ so wide. Cheshire wide? Maybe not quite. "Oh! You should totally team up with me on a podcast! Or like... Youtube react channel? Those have cooled off, so like, if we do a /new/ one, there'll be tons of lapsed viewers to nab up!"

She huffs and rolls her eyes, "Maybe I just don't visit because I don't want my poor super heroic cousin and his friends inconvenienced by ninjas! I'm /so nice/!"

Terry O'Neil has posed:
"Don't worry, Ape- the Danger Room is only as dangerous as you want the program to be. We can simulate a perfectly normal roller derby rink. And yes, Cheerleader appropriate. Short shorts, tank top and pompoms. I'm not shy!" He grins and puts his hands on his hips, "Heck, for one whole summer I wore a modified version of my super suit that was basically short shorts and a tank top so I wouldn't die from heat exhaustion because of all the fur."

The Cheshire sticks his tongue out at April. "Bah, we have ninjas on the team too, you know. Besides, you should bring the guys up to visit the tower sometime. You know I think Mikey is absolutely adorable- he'd experience Nirvana just looking at Vic and Gar's gaming setup. And then he'd probably video game duel them for, like, three days. But... a podcast..." he strokes his chin, raising his eyebrows.

"You know. That has possibilities... I do still want to do the expose on Arkham asylum by going undercover as an inmate under an assumed identity..."

Harley Quinn has posed:
They are totally in cahoots. Like big time. Chaos meets chaos! Really, nothing will go wrong.

"It's Terry." This said in response to him being dressed appropriately. And it really should answer all there's to answer about how .., 'appropriate' he will be dressed as. "Better start dustin' off those pompons, April, he gonna use 'em. Besides, it's a good excuse for me to see you in yoh maid outfit, Apes.." hol' up.

That Terry wants to go in as an inmate has Harley staring at him. Is she going to tell him it's a bad idea? "I know a few ways in, and out?" she tells him in a stage-whisper. "Really, that place is like a revolvin' doouh if you know the way around it.."

Her grin is then turned on April, "And relax, April. We will be trainin' in the Titans Towah!" big wide grin. "Nothing will go wrong."

Something will definitely go wrong!

April O'Neil has posed:
April's eyebrows perk, and once more she's giving that deadpan stare to Terry. But it's more of a 'Do you really want to set it to how dangerous I'd take it?' stare. But then she sighs... oh, it can do a /normal/ roller rink. No flamethrowers and spike platforms then. Regulation roller derby.

April groans out and shakes her head, "I do /not/ think going undercover at Arkham is a good idea! I mean, a bunch of lunatics attacked it like two weeks ago and broke out Bane and Killer Croc!"

She heartens for a moment... Harley's face! Considering that /insane/ undercover Arkham plan, she'll... encourage Terry and basically tell him there's secret ways in and out? Grooooooan.

"See? Harley thinks it's a good idea, and... I mean..." She sighs and slumps, "I can clean up in my t-shirt just fine too... I see your scheme here, Harley... besides, shouldn't I wait until after we do our training? What if my hips aren't good enough?"

She /glares/... is she going to hold a grudge about Harls saying her hips need to get in shape? Probably. As long as it's fun to hold onto.

Terry O'Neil has posed:
"I mean, we an talk about that idea later!" Vorpal says, clearly not deterred, "But we need to organize this training, stat. I may just be the team mascot, but I'm invested in seeing my bestie get revenge on the Tenders. And my cousin get her hips up to regulation standard," he says, grinning mischievously, "Besides, Ape, we are investigators. You already get your fair share of kidnapping attempts, so why should I lag behind? I have the O'neil reputation to uphold, you know."

Harley Quinn has posed:
"Then it's settled!" Harley exclaims, "Training at the tower, and preparing Terry to invade Arkham..." it's like she isn't even listening to April! Harley finally notices what Bud and Lou are doing to the whip. "Hey, that's not a chew toy...!" she wanders over to shoo them off from the poor whip that's now dented and bitten on. Poor thing...

She picks it up. "Oh well, our next Only Fans video won't be able to have whips, Apes..." dramatic little sigh.

"Now you all go do something important, like lunch! Because it might be lazy Wednesday but this clownette needs to be fed..!" the nerve on this Harley.