14718/Joke's on You, Batman!

Joke's on You, Batman!
Date of Scene:	18 April 2023
Location:	Abandoned Ace Chemicals Warehouse
Synopsis:	The Joker is on a rampage, and only the heroic duo of BATMAN and OSPREY can stop him! Same Bat-Time, Same Bat-Channel!
Cast of Characters:	Talia al Ghul, Bruce Wayne, Austin Reese
Cast of NPCs:	The Joker

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Talia al Ghul has posed:
Sometime late at night, there's been a hijacked broadcast of local UHF stations that in this day and age primarily play infomercials for mail order products of highly questinable quality. They're interrupted by that nefarious Jester Prince of Crime, the JOKER!

A flash shows the ACE Chemical Factory, and then the man himself! Wearing a purple and green tuxedo that seems to be quite a bit finer quality than his usual attire.

"Mweheheh, Batman! If you get this message, then come fast! If not, all these poor employees will be taking a nice dip!" The camera pans over the rows and rows of (for some reason still filled with chemical wastes and other things) several people that are tied up and dangling from ropes high up in the air, winches slowly cranking to drop them inch by inch.

"SO Batman, if you don't get here soon, then I'll just have to call tonight a WASH!" Another mweheheh, and then a flash is over of a digital clock, reading '30:00, 29.59, 29.58'...

Bruce Wayne has posed:
Batman flexes his hands in his gloves as he revs the engine of the Bat-cycle, tearing his way through downtown and towards ACE Chemicals. Honestly, he'd burn the place down if it wouldn't taint the ground underneath for ten thousand years. Hell, it might be that way anyway.

<<Joker's got hostages at ACE Chemical. Anybody wanting to help me kick his teeth in is welcome. He looks like he's in the mood to be silly, so don't get sloppy."

Joker's always in the mood to be silly, of course, but there are joy buzzers and there are chainsaws and he seems more in the joy buzzer zone right now. Which won't help the hostages if he starts getting bloodthirsty.

He grits his teeth and goes faster. He'll have time to sort out things like that after he's taken care of Joker.

Austin Reese has posed:
Never a dull moment. The Joker has been far more active lately than he had been for some time, but for some reason keeps delegating his actions. Not this time it would seem. Osprey had been on patrol down near Arkham, but hearing word from Batman that Joker was back again, he had diverted himself and headed towards Ace Chemicals.

<"You think they're ever going to tear that place down?"> He asks over comms, in between weaving out of traffic, and roaring past a GCPD officer doing a traffic stop on his own Batcycle. He takes an off-ramp to get onto the highway going the wrong direction, jumping over the median to cut across the bridge towards the industrial part of the city, <"ETA is two minutes. Do we have any idea how many hostages there are?">"

Talia al Ghul has posed:
For whatever reason, much like the abandoned amusement park and practical joke factory districts of Gotham, the old chemical plant has never been torn down, rpeurposed, or even cleaned up. How long had thsoe same walkways above the empty, still bubbling vats full of dangerous chemicals been left without handrails? Much less why were said vats still open?

As the two heroes fly and drive their way over towards the (no longer0 abandoned chemical factory, up in the air there's a large, floating balloon going up with a Joker face. Broadcasting through the air comes 'Smile, Dammit Smile', then the Joker's booming laugh.

Over in the large floating balloon would be a goon. This one was a bit different than most others. Namely that he was wearing blck as opposed to the normal Joker regalia of some sort of jester themed henchman, he was wearing a black trenchcoat and hat, and had long flowing blonde hair. Somehow, if they had or hadn't met him before, a name might go up with the face of that goon.

Namely, Bob.

Bruce Wayne has posed:
<<Ownership rights are a nightmare and clean-up is almost impossible. Probably needs the Feds to do something. And they don't like coming into Gotham.>>

Of course, Batman was part of the reason they didn't like coming in - he usually learned more about them than they ever did about him and he usually turned a few of their agents into his moles along the way. He just saw them as another tool in his arsenal, really. A slow and often inefficient tool.

Batman skids sideways as he makes a sharp turn towards the chemical factory, barreling through the fenced gate. He sees no need to stop, shifting the aim of the bike onto a loading ramp up and into the building until he bursts out onto the factory floor, amid the vats, staring up at Joker and the hostages.

"Enough of these shenanigans, Joker. You've played your last card and this time, you're going to the booby hatch!"

Why was he talking like that?!?

One of the Joker's thugs jumped the gun and ran at him, getting a sideways cross. POW!

"What in blue blazes?" Batman said aloud. Which is definitely not the expletive he meant to say.

Austin Reese has posed:
Ah the feds. The whole reason the city wound up as bad off as it did back in 2011. Osprey shakes his head a bit and throws that thought away, as he races up to the recently crashed through gates of the plant, though he dismounts and follows on foot after Batman's explosive entrance.

It's a moment or two after he enters the chemical factory that Osprey finds himself looking across at those bubbling vats of chemicals, with hostages dangerously dangling from their precarious positions.

"Holy vats of acid, Batman!"

Talia al Ghul has posed:
There's a loud CLINK within the chemical plant, as the large winches roll DOWN another clang with the hostages attached to them going a few more inches closer.. TO TEHIR DOOMS.

Batman is making his way through the htugs outside. They're going as a more chaotic swarm and trying to just brawl and pile him over. They seem a bit slower than many of Joker's standards, but they definitely can take a punch.

Calling outside through a megaphone as Osprey comes on in, there's the JOKER! Looking a little feistier than usual, and.. It looked like he'd simply painted over his beard with his normal facepaint. Maybe trying something a little different htan usual? It wasn't like he was ever consistent.

"Come on Batsy, just live a little! You never know.. Tonight could be the last one.. OF YOU LIFE! The same way it's going to be for these poor fellas and fellettes!" Going to hoot and holler over as if Batman was in the same room wtih him! Rather than just. . Osprey.

Over towards OSprey, a quarter of goons would be sneaking towards him. Wearing domino masks, purple jackets and those strange sort of semi winter hat that criminals often wore. POinting at one another and going 'Shhhh'.

Bruce Wayne has posed:
Bruce Wayne can't believe Joker found a printer to make wool sweaters with his face printed on them for all his thugs to wear. It's not even Christmastime. That's a lot of sewing.

"Ospray, lad! Don't let them box you in. Stick and move, kid!" he says.

BOFF! WHAM! KA-POW!!!!

Batman leaps over the remaining thugs in his path. As he looks up, he sees a massive lever perched on the side that says EMERGENCY SHUT-DOWN. It's cartoonishly obvious and over the top, but the only goon on it is wearing a sweater that's three sizes two small and a tiny hat perched on his bald head.

"I fear we may be under the influence of some kind of neural gas or substance. Quick, Osprey, put on your Bat-gasmask, just in case!"

Austin Reese has posed:
The goons moving towards Osprey get his attention, and he turns to face the group, "You foul villains have met your match!"

Stick and move indeed, as the young brawler engages with the thugs, visible 'POW's and 'WHACK's and 'BLAM's coming up as he strikes with practiced punches, "Batman, look out!" He calls out to the caped crusader, as he spots a pair of Joker emblem emblazoned thugs sneaking up behind him while he's distracted with the Emergency Shut Down.

As for the Bat-Gasmask, Osprey does indeed reach into his belt and pull out a small respirator, putting it on over his mouth and nose. For all the help it may provide.

Talia al Ghul has posed:
There's a familiar sort of rhythm over to the fight. Was Batman the type to occasionally hum to music while he brawled his enemies? Likely not. But perhaps on this time a tune, perhaps unbidden yet familiar on the back of one's mind would flow through him. Almost meditative, perhpas.

He leaps through the air over to land over and yank the EMERGENCY SHUT DOWN lever for the winches. How had he known it would be there? Why hadn't Joker's normally paranoia prediction for preying left the Clown Jester unaware of this surprise!?

Joker would huff, "Well, Batman, looks like you've gotten your way through the first phase of my tomfollery. But won't worry, you'll be the Jerry to my Cat soon enough! Wahaha."

Through the Bat-gasmask, things would take on a lighter hue. More colorful. The chemical plant seeming to have had all the lights turne don, a fresh coat of paint everywhere.

The Joker would give a flourish of a bow, and then artfully go to take a dive off the side of the high balcony he had been sitting on to land on his feet! Joker could altenratively be dextrous and agile, an dother times a doughboy. Going to pull out a large gun from somewhere on him. A gun.. With a very, very long barrel.

Since when had the Joker had a penchant for such oversized revolvers before!? It looked like it might take down the Bat-Plane..

Bruce Wayne has posed:
Movie scores mostly. Violins. Deep beats. Some of the new Trent Reznor movie stuff especially.

Bruce had been a teen in the nineties, even he had a Nine Inch Nails phase then.

But this was a different kind of music. Bouncy, playful, jocular. The Joker's music, in a way, full of whimsy and laughter even as brutality was dished out.

BAM! A broken jaw
POW! Dislocated elbow
KA-BOOM! Three ribs and a punctured lung

Over and over. It should have a laugh track. Never mind those puddles of blood. They won't make the edit.

Batman faces down that Longgun and punches his fist into his palm, "Joker, you fool! The kickback alone from such a thing would rocket you halfway to Timbuktu. And why is Bob over there? Bob, get down, you're going to hurt yourself!"

All of which is a very long ruse - yes, a RUSE - as he underhands a sharp-edged batarang out with edges sharp enough to bite at Joker's wrist if it strikes true.

Er, uh, ZING!

Austin Reese has posed:
The gasmask is helping. He thinks. Osprey isn't sure, but he's still going to try to head up and get to those hogtied hostages. He uses one of the thugs as a stepping board, launching off of his head to get up to the catwalk above.

Swinging his feet around onto the catwalk, he quickly looks around for some controls, finding the very clearly labeled 'HOSTAGES' lever, with the up, down, left and right labeled.

"Well that was nice of them." He says, as he grabs hold and starts to move the hostages in towards the catwalk, "I'll have you fine folks down in a jiff!"

Talia al Ghul has posed:
It's very user friendly. If anything, all the numerous times that random civilians have been kidnapped and put into death traps here has made the place decidedly familiar. This evening it feels even lighter than normal as the civilians all give out little yelps as they're let free. They give wide eyed glances to Osprey and each thanks him in turn as they go to scramble away, heading towards the emergency exit.

Hostages not screaming or throwing a fit, making their way calmly towards the exit quietly, and actually thanking him for saving them? That might perhpas be a first.

As the batarang is flung through the air there's a ZING and thena CLANG over as the oversized pistol goes to hit the floor! THe large revolver FIRES! Blasting a hole over in the side of a large, yet conveniently empty great vat so there was no spray about from the impact!

"Ow! So you want to play with the toys!" Joker's hand would hang limp. "Looks like I'm going to have to give you the Boo-HOO Batman!" Joker goes to take out.. A small plastic flower corsage. That from it would spray a great blast of ACID at Batman, despite the quite numerous distance separating the two!

Bruce Wayne has posed:
Batman flings up his cape, which is thankfully MUCH longer these days than it was in the sixties and provides sufficient protection, whereas Adam West would have been getting acid burns on his dad belly. The acid sizzles but doesn't penetrate the resistant fibers fully, just scarring this particular cape.

"You're going up the river, Joker, so it's time I boxed you up for shipping!" he says, grabbing a box and hurling it at the Clown Prince of Crime.

"Osprey, watch out for bombs! They'll be big black bowling balls with fuses on them! Just trust me!"

Austin Reese has posed:
The calm, orderly exit of the hostages is met with surprise by Osprey, but he's not going to complain as they all get out of there, "Batman, the hostages are clear!" He calls out to the big guy, as he turns around and listens to the orders given by Batman, "Bombs?! I'll locate them!"

He jumps off of the railing, falling down in between a couple of the vats, grabbing a hold of a railing off of one of them to catch himself, taking a moment to look around for the bombs.

As Batman said, it's hard to miss. There's a large, black bomb with a massive fuse sticking out of it, which is rapidly starting to burn off. Osprey moves over and grabs hold of it, "Batman, I found one of them!" He calls out, as he moves to get it away from the vats, the last thing they need is a bomb going off and freeing all those chemicals into the water!

Talia al Ghul has posed:
Osprey runs over to the bomb! Large, with a lit fuse slowly going down! It doesn't even have a timer on it or any sort of countdown. Joker was really going all out old school with this! Osprey had to get rid of the bomb! He would have to throw it somewhere it couldn't do any harm! But fortunately, thanks to whatever law of physics that made lit fuses burn very, very slowly he had the time to dispose of it!

Was.. Batman making a joke? There's a *BWUMPH* over as the box hits Joker. "Why, Batsy, since when did you go for the guffaw! I'm almost offended! I'm the Joker, and the jokes are never on me!"

Bruce Wayne has posed:
"Don't worry, Joker, I've got just the punchline for you," Batman says.

With the distraction of the box, Batman was able to close the distance and throws a hard rock cross over the strangely mustachio'd face of this particular incarnation of the Joker. SLAM! He throws a few more. BAP! PIFF! BOOM! the last coming from a kick of his own into the Joker's gut.

"Osprey, take the bomb, run it out past the chemical vats, to the shipping dock on the west side. Take it down the ramp and along the circuitous footpath that leads down past the parking lot and towards the old meat packing plant. Now, to the left, there's a special hogpen. Carry the bomb to the hogpen. Try not to step in too much pig poop, but you will probably be waist deep by the time you get..."

"On second thought, just throw it in the harbor. It's not that big. It'll be fine."

Austin Reese has posed:
Now while there was a good chance Osprey could get the bomb out of here, Batman's instructions got him to pause and listen, for several moments, until he realizes that he's lost. He's about to ask him to repeat it, when he suggests just throwing it in the harbor.

"That's a much better idea, boss!" Osprey replies, as he hauls the bomb up onto a shoulder and then runs to the exit door, kicking it open and bursting outside. Now why someone was allowed to build a chemical plant on the edge of the harbor is anyone's guess, but one could bet that money was involved.

Osprey hopped down into the edge of the harbor, moving along the seawall until he reached the end, looking down and spotting that there's a boat down there, with several of the Joker's thugs waiting to make an escape with the boss. A faint grin crosses Osprey's face as he hauls back and throws the bomb in an arc, where it lands right in the middle of the boat's deck.

Osprey turns around as the bomb goes off, thugs scrambling in every direction to get off the boat as it blows up, and Osprey takes a second to glance back over his shoulder at the carnage.

"I guess some days you can get rid of a bomb."

Talia al Ghul has posed:
It's a very, very specific set of instructions from Batman that are born from a very specific set of visualizations and experiences. Osprey goes to follow through with most of them, andas he goes to rush over towards the boat, which is easy to spot in the harbor with a large Joker face on the mast! The bomb goes ot hit, right as the goons spin around to look at it! One goes to point in slow motion, "It's a bomb!" The others staring.. Right as the bomb goes off an dthey're all flung from the ship, landing over in the water an ddogpaddling!

Joker's KABONGED by Batman. "Oh, you want some of this then? Sure, nothing up my sleeve.." He goes to with a flourish reveal there is.. In fact, onthing up his sleeve!? "But fortunately I have other accessories!

Flipping open his vest pocket as a large spring loaded boxing glove shoots out! In slow motion just as that peppy, upbeat music goes faster. Coming to some sort of climax. Batman.. Almost might be enjoying himself!?

Bruce Wayne has posed:
Bruce Wayne leaps in the air, landing on top of the giant boxing glove, which somehow seems to inflate as it arrives, bouncing off the top and backflipping down to land next to the Joker. "Some? Pal, I want the whole darn thing!" he says, reaching up and savagely tearing the mustache from the man with a cruel swipe before headbutting him down.

The reality of who he is starts to kick in. Whatever fever dream madness the Joker created here has started to wear off. Batman watches the laughing harlequin on his hands and knees, spitting blood and he feels something else in him sing.

All that silly zip pow stuff is absolutely Batman. It is awesome. It rules.

But violence? Chaos? Mayhem? Well, that's just home.

Batman puts the Joker down with a last hard slug to the chin and knocking him out and back.

"Enough. Just enough," he saays, turnign to the returning Osprey. "Cuff him. And if that shit hasn't worn off yet, keep your mouth shut. If I hear one single 'holy' come out of your mouth..." he mutters, rubbign a hand over his jaw from that Joker kick earlier. Lucky shot.

Austin Reese has posed:
Back in the factory proper, Osprey has finally filtered most of it out of his system. He's back to his usual pace once he gets all the way in to where Batman has beaten the Joker down. Osprey swoops in and cuffs Joker's hands behind his back, before cuffing those cuffs to one of the railings, to make sure that he's locked down for sure.

"GCPD is rounding up the ones outside. Seems like whatever it was is only in here, but I'd still warn them to wear masks when they come in." He suggests, as his head finally seems to have cleared. Though Batman's warning about no more holies does get him to zip it before he goes on with another joke. He'll save that one for another night.