14953/Captain of Everywhere: The Galactic Protector

Captain of Everywhere: The Galactic Protector
Date of Scene:	18 May 2023
Location:	Main Room - Titan's Tower
Synopsis:	Bart, Cait, and Jinx watch the crappy movie that stars a rip off of Jinx. No royalties were ever paid. But the movie is even worse than they imagined it to be. Apparently there's dozens of sequels in the future!
Cast of Characters:	Jinx, Bart Allen, Caitlin Fairchild

---

Jinx has posed:
When you're an internationally wanted supervillain you don't get legal representation when someone in Hollywood wants to use your name and likeness in a cheesy superhero movie. This one went straight to the bargain bin - where it belonged. Captain of Everywhere: The Galactic Protector.

Jinx never watched the movie. The very idea that they had made a character named Jinx that was meant to be her as the villain in some terrible D-grade movie infuriated her at the time. But life has take some unexpected turns of late and perhaps now she can see the humour in it.

Popcorn is made, DVD is in the player. Jinx plops herself down on the couch. Did she invite people to come see this shitty movie? hell no. Will they turn up anyway? in the Titan's tower - hell yes.

Bart Allen has posed:
Bart Allen comes zooming along, and it was not the smell of popcorn that got him here. No he was stopping by to check on things. So after a once over the base make sure nothing is wrong, he will come sliding into a seat in the main room and looks up at the screen "What we watching?" He asks, and then zooms off and back in a moment with movie snacks.

Caitlin Fairchild has posed:
The lift door from the lower levels opens and admits Caitlin into the Main Room. The tall redhead's clad in pink scrubs and rubber shoes with her hair pulled back out of her face with a messy bun. She takes two heavy steps towards the large table and unloads a double-armful of totes and bags, sending books and notepads spilling across the large hardwood slab.

"Ooh, impromptu movie night? What are we watching?" She echoes Bart's question quite unintentionally, brows perked in curiousity.

Caitlin starts taking down her bun with a few plucking gestures and detours over to the fridge before going straight to the seating room. The heroine picks up a double-helping of SnackyShakes and crosses over in front of the screen to claim one of the more overbuilt chairs.

Jinx has posed:
"We're watching the shitty superhero movie where I'm the main villain... never got any royalties for this mind you. May be Wayne's lawyers would be interested in that too," Jinx explains to Bart as he joins her. She dips in to the popcorn and noms.

The opening scenes - lighting crashes about a tall sky scraper and standing there is the Jinx character. Bald, white, wearing a two piece bikini and nothing else. "It's too late Agent Brass Enchanter - I've won. The world is now mine. And soon, the whole Galaxy! MWHAAAHAAAHAAAAAA"

The Jinx character drives a weird looking staff in to his heart and the would be hero who the audience is supposedly meant to recognise, though no one does, dies a dramatic death that'd put Pee-wee Herman to shame.

The camera pulls back away as the scene clearly transforms in to cheap CGI and the title card appears 'Captain of Everywhere: The Galactic Protector'

Jinx scoffs and throws open her arms, "What the hell is she wearing? and who is Agent Brass Enchanter.. and what's that staff meant to be? Put a LITTLE bit of effort in to the script why don't you."

Bart Allen has posed:
Bart Allen looks over and says "Oh I think I saw the..." He stops himself and pulls out his phone to google something and says "Second one of these." He at least confirmed there was on in the making before he gave away anything more." He munches some popcorn and waves over to Caitlin in greeting.

Caitlin Fairchild has posed:
"It's a shame when they can't even get the little details right," Caitlin agrees sympathetically. "We almost had a deal for a reality TV show here in the Tower, but that went sideways really fast before we all voted to put a stop to it. Well, except Gar," she amends, "But he's always been a fan of the limelight."

She sets one shake out in front of her and sips from the other. Spending the day in school studying burns a lot of calories.

Jinx has posed:
The movie cuts to a man wearing a cape rescuing baby kittens who are clearly part of an advanced alien species on a far away planet from a burning building.

"They made a second one?" Furious taptaptapping on her smart phone, Jinx looks it up and notices it's still in production. "Wow.. really wow. This movi- oh... OH..." she glowers at the screen and smirks.

"You know there are lines even I wouldn't want to cross. This movie was made during the last writers strike and the second one is being made during this writers strike. Both of these movies are written by scabs? wooow. That explains a lot actually."

The movie cuts to the flying man with the cape resting the kittens down with their parents, "Never fear, Captain of Everywhere, protector of the galaxy, is always everywhere at once and no where in between."

Jinx stares dumbfounded at the dialog. Then even more so as his 'evil twin' turns up wearing opposite colours and with a goatee. A terrible fist fight with bad editing breaks out. She noms on her popcorn and offers it around, "Tragic backstory is going to happen any moment now I can tell."

Bart Allen has posed:
Bart Allen looks over and says "Evil clones makes so much more sense than evil twins." He says at the other man cominc up "And most time they don't have beards, I mean some, do, but like SB's is all white, and then the ones that came from the other universe, they all looked really like the other guys."

Caitlin Fairchild has posed:
Caitlin's trying to keep up but the dialogue is not just cheesy, it's flat inconsistent. "Wait, don't you typically put the backstory at the front of the movie?" she asks with a baffled tone. "Otherwise you're putting the brakes on right in the middle of the main plot. Why interrupt one story to tell another one?" she asks a little rhetorically. The redhead looks over at Jinx. "And you say they made this without talking to you -at all-?"

Jinx has posed:
She gestures wildly at the television as Cait asks if they asked her about it, "Of course they didn't ask me. Not the least of which is that no one could find me but you know, they were terrified of me." She smirks a little and nods to Bart, "Yeah. That doppelganger thing was wild. I never got one. I'm trying not to take it personally."

The backstory seems to get very involved in to genetic engineering. Worryingly so suggesting whichever scab writer wrote this was in to eugenics and seemed to think it was a good thing.

"Wait, so this guy is meant to be the hero right? Are we sure he's not just a space nazi?" She twists her lips and eats some more popcorn as it cuts back to Earth where the Jinx character is doing some ritual to drain the life of every soul on the planet to turn Earth in to a magical super weapon.

"Okay. I have to give them props here. If you're going to think big and kill everyone on the planet, then this'd be the way to do it. Like, burn every bridge at once yeah? don't pussy out and piss off a couple of people. No no, everyone at once."

Bart Allen has posed:
Bart Allen says, "I didn't have one either," He tells her, but I met a few Badia being just one of them." He will hmmm a bit and says "Protector of the galaxy, looks like they would show him having some other responsibility to somewhere else or something.""

Jinx has posed:
Captain of Everywhere defeats his doppelganger.. or clone.. it's actually not quite clear from the tragic backstory but he punches his fists together and a portal opens. He steps through and superhero lands across from the Jinx character.

"You're too late Captain of Everywhere. Perhaps my distraction wasn't enough"

Jinx hits pause, "Wait what? Jinx sent the reverse guy? she knew about Captain of Everywhere? that makes -no- sense. Did they cut out some establishing scenes or something."

She blinks at Bart, "Hang on a second..." she goes in to the DVD menus and goes to Chapter Selection. "Oh.. oh no. The movie is told out of order like Pulp Fiction." She pinches the bridge of her nose. "I'm not sure I can take much more of this."

She sighs and hits resume as the 'hero' and the 'villain' get in to a terrible CGI battle with giant skyscrapers tumbling around everywhere. The collateral damage is through the roof.

Bart Allen has posed:
Bart Allen looks over and says "I was going to say, is there a directors cut or something where it might have the missing parts." He looks over as she is looking through the menus he decides to check online to see how much of a following the movie has and if there is folks cosplaying as the characters.

Jinx has posed:
Jinx checks the internet too.. "Nope, no directors cut. Hah did you see that? one skyscraper clipped through the other one. Hm, you know in this movie I have kind of god like powers." She twiddles her fingers at the screen. "I think they stole some of the news footage of me fighting for these scenes and then tried to CGI their actors face on to it."

She hits pause again, "Yeah. Look see - the actor is bald but you can clearly see some of my hair. This was from Budapest three years ago!" She laughs and hits play again.

Bart dives down a rabbit hole that shouldn't be dived down and finds a fan collective for Jinx. The real Jinx not just the movie. There are people who are obsessed with her. The latest goss is that she's undercover in the Titans to take them all down - though some fans think she's turning legit and they're mixed as to whether this is a good thing or not.

There are a lot of one-true-pairings going on too and a lot of fanfiction and fanart. Some pictures of people cosplaying as Jinx, the real Jinx. Some as the movie character, bald Jinx. It's a wild thing. There's even one guy dressed as Captain of Everything in the forums.

Bart Allen has posed:
Bart Allen hmms and may show this to Tim later, but just files it away for now, not to bring it up to Jinx, he has done ticked her off with his name slip, no need to make it worse." He hmmms a bit and says "Who were ya fighting in that event? They using them for Everything?" He asks out of curiousity

Jinx has posed:
She shakes her head as she watches Captain of Everything destroy the world eating ritual. She rolls her eyes, "Oh so now he has laser eyes like Superman. Just, all of a sudden. He could have used that at the start of the fight and avoided all this destruction..."

She smirks. "Nope that's all green screen. We were there disrupting a mining operation so that the corporation that owned the mine would give in to H.I.V.E.'s demands. Something something access to raw materials. I wasn't paying attention at the time.

The character of Jinx in the movie becomes enraged and the weird staff from earlier in the movie appears. "Now you will pay with your life!" and she stabs Captain of Everything in the heart just like she did with Agent Brass Enchanter.

Jinx leans back on the couch and cradles the popcorn bowl in her lap as she nibbles. "We could make a better movie than this. There's the guys from Harley's TV show who can do all the camera work and editing. I bet they'd be in to it. Why'd the movie here at the tower fall through?"

Bart Allen has posed:
Bart Allen shrugs a bit and says "I was not about when they were talking about it, I honestly don't know. You know if you wanted to you could probably make one where your doing hero stuff, and use it to help spin your PR into a different direction. I am sure Harley and maybe Gar could help with it. Gar and I had the whole Alphabet social media thing going for a while.

Jinx has posed:
Jinx stops paying attention to the movie as it cuts back in time to Agent Brass Enchanter working with what looks like SHIELD agents tracking down lost relics like Indiana Jones. The dialogue is stale and the acting is worse.

"Eeeh Gar ... really doesn't like me. Not that I can blame him for it. He's protective and I have a way of pissing people off. He thinks I should open with an apology but ... I'm pretty self absorbed most of the time."

She snugs a pillow up under her arms and faces Bart. "It's taken me some time and almost dying to recognise the shit that's happened to me and putting it all in context. This place. You guys and gals and everything in between. I know I'm a piece of shit and the best I've got to offer right now is vengeance against the assholes who ruined my life.

A shrug of her shoulders, "Besides. PR.. I think that's happening with Harley's tv show. Bounty Babes. It's weird having a producer who is contractually obligated to make us look good because they want the show to succeed."

Bart Allen has posed:
Bart Allen hmms and says "With time, I am sure, he will come around. And you have more to offer than just vengeance, but if you might not have figured out people say I try to see the best in folks, but I think if you want to try to be doing good you can you just gotta try and do it.

Jinx has posed:
A new super hero joins the movie, this late in the game, Sun of the Eater teams up with the Agent as they delve in to ancient ruins and come face to face with the bald Jinx character once more. A battle ensues and she gets the gnarly staff.

The battle isn't as big as the one in the middle of the movie where she kills Captain of Everywhere - but it actually has decent choreography. Sun of the Eater ends up getting a staff through the heart like everyone else has so far in this movie.

Not that Jinx actually cares much about it at this point. She has Bart just sitting here chatting and that's interesting. Agent Brass Enchanter gets away.

The movie cuts back to present and suddenly Captain of Everywhere comes back to life and the battle resumes.

"So.. you're from the future and you called me Lucky and you're telling me I have more to offer than vengeance and that I just have to try to do good to do good. You're pretty transparent speedster. So spill it - who am I to you in the future."

Bart Allen has posed:
Bart Allen looks to her, and says "From the future I was born in your history no offence." He offers to her. "I am from the 31st century, but there is a lot of history about heroes and villains then. Some people thinking it was the good ol days and sucks, and I think the scientists who set up my classes wanted me to know as much about heroes and villains as I could . I have seen all 28 of these movies, but after like the third one, they branch off to doing other villains and heroes. Some people then thought they were documentaries."

Jinx has posed:
Jinx stares a moment and noms the popcorn without looking at how much she's scooping out. She raises an eyebrow. "That's a long time in the future.. yeah I get it. So you know my future, or my history for you. That's a heavy thing to carry around with you back here. Are you meant to change something to save the future or keep it all the same?"

She tucks her legs up as the final battle of the movie starts to take place. "Wait. There are three of these movies where I'm the main villain?" She laughs and hits stop on the movie. There's nothing good that can come of seeing how it ends at this point. "Or do I.. turn and go good gal or something." She smirks.

"You know if they're really making more movies with me in them I probably do need to get a lawyer. This is turning in to defamation at this point." Also the idea that people thought they were documentaries is kind of fascinating. She must have been a legend at some point in the future.

Bart Allen has posed:
Bart Allen looks to her, and says "Well things are not quite all the same as I learned, so either I have changed things or I am not in my exact past. I have talked to some other time travelers, and they seem to be from futures that were not part of my history, so I think I am more adjacent to my own past, and it is not messing thing up. And I am back in this time cause my Grandma sent me back in time to get my cousin to help me, cause I was aging at superspeed.

Jinx has posed:
Jinx nods her head and puts the popcorn aside. "I see. Does that mean you'll be leaving soon?" She isn't sure how she feels about that. The speedy guy who is suddenly sitting still to talk to her. "And hey if this isn't your past then it doesn't matter if you tell me... do I ever get my shit together?"

Bart Allen has posed:
Bart Allen looks to her and shakes his head a bit to this and says "Na, this is my home, I got friends, and family here, even have a job and a girl friend." He offers with a goofy smile. "As for telling folks, I try not to, it will influence them, and it could be better but it could be worse as well. I will say you were listed as a member of the Titanns.

Jinx has posed:
Jinx double takes. "A member member?" She looks bewildered. Shocked even. The team she helped attack and she ended up as one of them in Bart's timeline. "That can't be right. Are you sure your history books were correct?" She thumbs to herself, "I'm not exactly what you'd call a team player."

Bart Allen has posed:
Bart Allen shrugs a bit and says "All I know is what I was taught." He offers her and says "And you seem to be more one than you used to be, you aint thrown anything at me tonight,"

Jinx has posed:
Jinx smirks and tosses a piece of popcorn at him. "Uh huh. Well, may be I'm finally learning what 'friend' can actually mean. In my shitty life I've never had one and - well, not I have Harley. It's a big change for me. And this team? these people? allies I guess? it's a whole new way of living for me. Feels like I'm opening a big target down my side for someone to knife me but may be that's just the paranoia."

Bart Allen has posed:
Bart Allen gets serious for a moment and says "Just cause someone has done bad things in the past or their family has bad people in it does not determine what someone is going to be. Each person sets their own destiny and if they want to be good and they try they can be good or even great, but you got to want it and to work for it.

Jinx has posed:
Jinx tosses a popcorn up in the air and catches it in her mouth. Munchmunch, "Work for it? Sheesh. My whole life has been an uphill climb I deserve a break every now and then. It just don't work that way for me though. Bad luck and all that."

She hits play on the movie as the climactic battle plays out. Captain of Everywhere snaps the magical staff in half and the battle with bald Jinx rages on until Jinx uses the remains of the ritual to blast Captain of Everywhere. "You call yourself Everywhere. Now you really will be-" and he explodes in to bad special effects particles.

The movie concludes with 'To be Continued....'

Jinx stares in wonder at the movie's ending and says, "Holyshit. I won? Nono. No more sequels. That's the perfect ending. Jinx wins and rules the world." She fist bumps and then offers Bart a high five.

Bart Allen has posed:
Bart Allen chuckles a bit and will give her a high five, and says "I think you would be better protecting it than ruling it though." He offers with a smile.