15287/Hello Wade

Hello Wade
Date of Scene:	02 July 2023
Location:	Back Yard
Synopsis:	Wade and Rogue talk after her Hawaiian vacation. They talk about any of that though, and instead mostly just pick at each other for a few minutes before Jeepers demands attention!
Cast of Characters:	Wade Wilson, Rogue

---

Wade Wilson has posed:
    There's a slight buzz in the air as high above a small drone whirs, its quartet of tiny fan blades blurring and spinning quickly as the little vehicle whirs across the distance. Barely more than a purple plastic toy with a camera, the little vehicle darts across the distance as it floats above the garage of a particular school for the gifted. It has no enhanced technology, nor is it even a particularly expensive drone. It's more a drone one would find when they shopped Temu instead of Amazon.
    But what this drone does have attached to it. Is Wade.
    Or rather Wade's attention as the he is watching through the drone's camera as he strolls along the path leading to the area behind the garage. Cellphone in hand, white eyelets cast down in that red and black mask, his arrival had likely been noted by the Xavier security systems. Though it might have taken a fraction of a second longer to identify him as he was garbed not in the standard uniform he so often sported. But instead wearing brown work boots, blue jeans, a red and black flannel overshirt, and a brown and black winter trapper hat, complete with faux beaver fur. To complete the look he had slung over his shoulder a store-bought brand new Milwaukee Tool Splitting Axe, with the 'On Sale!' price sticker still on the shaft of it.
    Oh he also had a tiny pencil thin mustache that seemed somehow attached to his mask.

Rogue has posed:
Rogue had spent the past week in Hawaii by herself. She'd gotten home today and had been settling back in. Having put her things away in her room, she was back down near the garage and near her car that she had parked on the little circle drive behind the back garage doorway. She's cleaning it out, with Jeepers - her dog - running around it and biting on a empty plastic water bottle making repetitive plastic crunchy noises as he is just so eager and happy to have his person back from a whole week of being gone.

Rogue has the radio on inside her car, playing some country music but she doesn't have it overly loud as she wants to be able to hear what is going on...

Case in point, she hears someone rounding the corner and sees Lumberjack Wade.

Sitting sideways in the driver's seat with her feet out, and her eyes covered in sunglasses, the southern belle of the X-Men has a green tanktop on, a pair of denim shorts and a little shell necklace she bought at a beach vendor on her vacation.

She just eyes Wade for a moment before calling out to him. "Whatever you're up to, Wilson, I dunno if you're doin' a very good job of it!"

Jeepers, the yellow lab, spies Wade and starts to run toward him to run in circles around him while crunching that plastic bottle. Some guard dog he is.

Wade Wilson has posed:
    "Well if it isn't the second prettiest Southern Bell I know." Wade's sing song voice calls out from down the path a bit as he's still got his attention focused on the cellphone in his hand as he lightly taps the screen a few times, getting the drone high above to whir around and flit over to hover above the mansion entrance and the driveway. He finally looks up at the sound of all that plastic crunching, "Aww, Ace the Bat-Hound. Or is this... the other one... crap what was his name?"
    The cell is popped back into his pocket as he then unslings the axe and points it at her across the way, "Hey! I have a distinct planned out caper here, I have the props, I have a vague form of an idea, and it made sense to me during the drive over. But if I end up talking to you then I'll get distracted and all this will be for nothin'!"
    Deadpool turns and looks at Jeepers as he makes the third circuit around him, still crunching on the bottle. "Now shit what was I going to do? Oh right, Lumberjack gig." He then turns and points again at Rogue. "So like... pack up your... what is it you're doing?"

Rogue has posed:
Rogue is leaning back in to her car to get something off of the passenger side floor while Wade responds to her. Jeepers is continuing his run around Wade before he finally breaks and starts back toward his lady and her vehicle. The dog just leaps in to the car's back seat between the front driver's back and the gap there-in. When Rogue sits up again she drops more empty bottles in to the plastic bag hanging in front of her knees via her left hand fingers, a dangling bag of garbage.

"I'm cleanin'. I let some'a the others use my car while I was outta town, an' am seein' how much of a dumbass mistake that was." She says as she moves to stand up out of the car all together. She rises up beside it, leaving her dog inside on the back seat now where he's gnawing on some of his toys she left on the backseat.

Depositing the bag of garbage on top of her 69 Charger's roof, Rogue adjusts her shirt around her waist as she gives Wade the sideways stink eye.

"You wanna clue me in on this scheme'a yours? Or should I just take comfort in knowin' it's better off if I don't know about it?" She asks with a smirk as she adjusts her sunglasses up on to her hairline and shows off her light green eyes as she checks her phone now.

Wade Wilson has posed:
    "Oh hell yeah, never let people touch your stuff. When I loan things out and I get 'em back I black light that junk. I sit there with jeweler's glasses and go over that stuff with a fine-toothed comb. Though, to be fair most of my stuff... you do _not_ want to expose under black light. Just man... if you ever need an impromptu flashbang, I got you covered. So long as the room is suitably darkened, and has those weird stoner posters on the wall..."
    Wade stands there as his words trail off, axe slung back over his shoulder as the eyelets in his mask narrow a little. One can see the lower lip lift a bit under that mask as he chews on it for a time, his brow furrowed in such thought.
    "What were we talking about? Oh right, the scheme! The plan. The whole..." He turns, his pencil-thin mustache sort of shivering with each word. "Well it went something like... this."
    While inside the mindscape of Wade, a crayon-crafted stick-figure vision manifests with a little red and black Deadpool kicking at a rock while walking down the street.
    "I'm lashing around looking for a new job since well the Suicide Squad thing is kaput I reckon. So I was thinking..."
    The little crayon Wade gets a light bulb over his head.
    "I need a new job. But what's a good job lately? Who gets paid well, doesn't get shot at or lassoed and interrogated? But also gets all the chicks? Lumberjack. Right."
    Little crayon Wade then runs down the street in two-frame animation, tiny legs flailing as he dives into a big building with a sign on the front that proclaims, 'Wal-Mart'.
    "Well I figured I should go test the waters, see if I'm any good at being a lumberjack. But also I figured I should look the part. So I went shopping. And I figured I'd come out here because I remember last guy I saw doing the chopping wood thing was Logan. And he was looking all dreamy, with his shirt all open and his chest all fuzzy that you'd think he was wearing a sweater underneath. Also Xavier's? Some of the best ladies, to be fair. But I didn't want to be like chopping wood all day. How to solve that? Clearly, drone spy plane to keep an eye out and warn me for when zee ladiez are inbound. Also mustache."
    Wade's voice trails off as he turns, rubbing a hand at his jaw. Inside his mindscape little Crayon Wade leaps over the stone wall of Xavier's. "And then. I jumped over the fence. The end."

Rogue has posed:
Rogue isn't privy to any crayon drawings, or animated internal videos that would make even Pixar wonder if this was a good idea, nope, she's just left to stare at Wade as he does what he does. Her eyes do glance up toward the drone as it floats by overhead, making that tell-tale buzzing noise. Her right hand goes up to hold her sunglasses from falling back off of her head, and when she looks back down at him she frowns.

"You're not usin' that thing t'spy in our windows, are ya?" She asks him flatly and bluntly. "Heard from one'a the students that you were doin' some kinda Marty McFly thing up in one'a the trees." It wasn't Marty, it was Marty's dad, Rogue, gosh.

Jeepers super-dogs his way out of the car once again, rushing toward the open garage door now to run inside where he spits out the bottle to start to drink from his water dish.

Rogue sets her phone back in to her denim shorts back pocket, then reaches for the trash sack atop her car. "Logan does have a nice style to him, even I'll admit that." She concurs as she shuts her car door with a thud. Walking on brand new looking tennis shoes with no socks on inside them, the Belle reaches a trash can parked beside the garage door where she opens its lid and dump the bag inside it.

"But if ya really wanna help out around here, ya can actually do some real yard work too." She says, motioning toward a push mower that sits just inside the garage door on the back side of the fancy garage with the many fancy cars parked inside it.

"And who is the FIRST most attractive southerner on your list?" She asks then, pulling from his earlier comment. "Breakin' my damn heart, like every other man in my life..." She says with a bit of a play-up to her southern charmed voice.

Wade Wilson has posed:
    "What? Nah." Wade's answer to Rogue's question about using it to spy. "I mean not _right_ now. At least." Deadpool strolls over across the way and then takes a seat on the old tree stump that is used so often when suitably macho men like to chop wood right here on this spot. He lets the axe rest across his lap as he settles in.
    When she mentions some other student he stares blankly at her for a time. Or just keeps his head pointed in her direction since the mask doesn't really blink. Then he lifts his head, "Oh right, the kid with the bow and arrow. You have some _very_ violent students here. Really good you've taken them off the streets. She seemed really angry, very urban. Couldn't understand her through that staggeringly thick obscuring accent. Or maybe she was just using slang like the young kids do these days."
    He taps three fingers upon the haft of the axe in a particular rhythm for some reason as his head turns to the side as he looks off into the distance, then back when she asks about him _really_ helping out around the mission. "What you mean around here? No, god no. Actual work? Jeez no. I mean... depends on what you guys are paying of course. I suppose. I could go legitimate. I could go straight. But I warn you, I refuse to downgrade my quality of life at all. I must be kept in the manner to which I am accustomed. When we go to Arby's I demand extra Horsey sauce."
    He rolls back to his feet and then almost effortlessly hurls the axe down into the stump where it embeds itself with a loud /THWOK!/
    He turns back to her. "Most attractive Southerner? Jessica Tandy. Drivin' Miss Daisy... indeed." Wade then gestures extravagantly to the side, "Though really it's a toss up between her and Blanche Devereaux. Yes, I know she's fictitious. But she is close to being the Platonian Ideal of Southern Comfort."

Rogue has posed:
The Belle just eyes the man as he squats down on that spot beside the back driveway. this being the place where car washing is done, as well as work on the various yard tending equipment, it's got a few nice features around it including even an air tank for filling up vehicle tires, checking pressure, etc. She smirks softly at what he said to the very notion of pitching in around here. "That's the problem with today's generation. Ain't nobody wanna put in a good day's work. Get a bit sweaty, and feel a sense'a accomplishment after gettin' your hands dirty."

It's Rogue, she says all of that in a way that is mildly suggestive and intentionally intended to cause images and thoughts. It's part of what she does to people!

"But, I get it... ya wear that gimp suit around everywhere ya go, with layers upon layers atop it. I can't imagine you're not steamin' like a carrot in there." She adds all while simply standing with her arms crossed across her stomach, rumpling the dark green fabric of her tanktop.

"And I know who Blanch is, but not the other one.... cause you're... you're very old Wade." She has to say, and has to smile sweetly at him after she says it. "Golden Girls is pretty great though, and still gets played in my room when I'm tryin' t'sleep some nights."

She watches him smack the axe down, and she just HAS to shake her head. "You better be careful with that. I trust Logan with those things, but you? You're gonna split an artery, or somethin'."

She raises her right hand up to drop her glasses back down over her eyes as she steps back over to her car, moving around to the passenger side door now. "And I'm sure we can't afford your services... Mistah High Class." She calls over the vehicle toward him.

Wade Wilson has posed:
    As for Wade's response to Rogue's repudiation of his work ethic? He replies with a simple, "Pfft."
    But he does give her a side eye sidelong, one of those eyelets narrowing a bit as if suspicious, "I see what you were doin' there with all them dooble intinders." He lifts a gloved hand and points at her again as if accusing her of some vicious crime.
    "You do realize the suit breathes right? It's developed with dual-layered fabric with one compressing, the other supporting, giving a breathable material that is actually quite cooling in effect! You just need to keep circulation going."
    A beat. Then he adds, "And wear nothing underneath."
    "Jessica Tandy," He casually unbuttons the top pocket of his flannel shirt and then tosses a Canadian quarter toward Rogue with a /plink/ of sound. "Here, go buy yerself some culture ya heathen."
    Then she's off again impugning his talents and abilities this time as she strolls around the other side of the car. "You do realize that I like, fight _all_ the time with two very sharp. I repeat. Very sharp swords. Like an axe is going to slow me down. I'm double-specialized in sharp pointy things, so yeah... +2 to hit, +4 to damage. So... take that."

Rogue has posed:
Rogue didn't catch the coin. She just let it fall where it wanted to fall. She ended up just cleaning out the door of her passenger side compartment of a couple extra bottles she couldn't reach easily from the other side, and when she looks up at him from over the hood she just sets the bottles down upon it and smiles at him.

"Nothin' under your breathable suit?" She asks. "Now you're pullin' from /my/ book'a stayin' cool inside your bodysuit."

She's doing it again! Run for it, Wade!

The passenger side door is shut closed with another thud, and the Belle is now moving around to the back of the classic muscle car. She gets the trunk open with a little click of the keys hanging from her wrist via a leather strap, then raises the lid up to peer around inside it.

"Those swords are real?" She asks, giving him a bewildered glance along with her sincere befuddled tone. Apparently she thought he was a shamster too!

She grins at him then as her eyes go back to the contents of her vehicle's trunk. "I seen you cut your own head in halves with a chainsaw once, Wade. Remember the Italian Restaurant job I found ya in the middle of? Damn place was a veritable bloodbath...." Different Wade player, old hijinx. Same Great Rogue though.

She starts sorting out a blanket and a couple plastic boxes likely containing tools or emergency car side supplies.

"Don't get so defensive either, ya know I'm just teasin' ya. I've seen ya fight too. I know you can hold your own... in fact I figure you live off'a holdin' your own." She just has to say it, and she just has to add with another soft grin. "Sorry... it was low hangin' fruit...."

And there's more grinning from the southerner in the Daisy Dukes.

Wade Wilson has posed:
    A small snort or snerk comes from him, a thing that borders close upon a laugh as he shakes his head at her coy wryness. He seems about to say something when now she dares to declare that his swords are fakes!
    Which is strong enough of an insult to cause him to seem to stagger back slightly, his head bobbling a little as if struck by the sheer cruelty of such a jape. His jaw drops open, the mask lengthening as he shakes his head. "Oh now Marie June Elizabeth McCallister Stevens Roguenstein, you are coming _very_ close to damaging our friendship with something that could be considered a modest disagreement or a strong internet slapfight. I'll have you know that my swords... ok to be fair, my _good_ swords, are like super awesome katanas folded a million times. I mean sure the Japanese had to do that because their iron was like super low grade and why they went to war wearing armor that looked like you could buy it at Pier 1 Imports for five dollars. BUT STILL!"
    Then there's a pause, "Wait, is Pier 1 still around? Shit. Where will I buy all my incense racks and little tiny brass gongs?"
    As he says that last he fishes out his cellphone once again and apparently has embarked... on Googling.
    Of course as he's web-searching she offers that last little zinger and he points at her, "Oh you dick."
    Then he looks up, "Aww man, they closed all their stores. They're just online now. That's disappointing. And a little sad."

Rogue has posed:
Rogue is cracking open her tool cases to peer inside them just to make sure everything is still--- "Ah god damnit." She states, seeing a number of empty spaces in the foam fit case inside. Her chin comes shooting up toward the garage, an expression of earnest annoyance clear on her utterly beautiful and attractive facial features. She draws in a deep breath through her perfectly pert little nose, then drops the case back inside her trunk. "I'm gonna murder some people if I don't find my stuff..." The Belle says before dropping the trunk lid back down with another thud of a door upon her vehicle being closed.

She takes a step back, retrieves her phone from her back pocket and starts sending off texts while Wade speaks of old Imports stores.

"Online is the future of everything, Wade." Rogue says while tapping away at her phone with her right thumb. "Don't act like I don't know all about your OnlyFans. This is how you afford your fancy Japanese swords, afterall..." she distractedly tells him before she does have a random fact enter her mind.

"Weren't the Samurai the only fightin' force that fought the Mongols and actually ran them outta Japan? Shabby armor or not, that's pretty awesome."

And back to angry texting SOMEone who might know where her stuff was taken maybe.

Jeepers, meanwhile, comes outta the garage with a frisbee that he carries toward Wade, to shove at the man's legs, his big brown eyes looking up at the man with a broken hearted desire clearly visible within them.

Wade Wilson has posed:
    "I didn't say they were bad at fighting." Wade offers in counterpoint, "Just that their armor was made of bamboo and with a few small tweaks was the height of living room fashion for the vaunted ages 35-50 1990s soccer mom demographic."
    He strolls over and starts to peer over her shoulder to see to whom the texts toll, for they do not toll for he. Then that piece of plastic in the canine's mouth is lightly nudged against his legs causing him to look back. "Aww c'mon, dawg. You keep doing that I'll have to break character and..."
    But then Wade Wilson sighs deeply and pulls the tiny mustache pieces off his mask, "Fiiiine, I'll play a _little_ bit of fetch with you. It was a stupid idea anyway."
    Over his shoulder as he walks out into the yard with Jeepers he tells Rogue, "I'm gonna play with your dog, Rogue. Hopefully he won't capture my heart and teach me a few lessons about life, living, and love. Maybe over the course of an hour and a half, unless we go to series, then I see it being like 26 episodes a season. Jeepers and Wade. Deadpool and Jeeppool. Something like that, we'll workshop it."
    All said as he strolls off.

Rogue has posed:
"Too late, you disparaged all of Japan. Now you must die with great shame." Rogue distractedly says as the man peers over her shoulder to see her chatting in some kind of faculty shared chat room for the school, the kind of thing Wade would surely want to be included in, if he knew it existed. He might even also see a private tab marked 'Jean's Pics' on her phone as he's snooping too, which may have all manner of other reactions inside the man's head at the wonders that lay within Rogue's phone.

Jeepers completely changes his tune when Wade gives in and indicates he'll play. Gone are the days of the sad looks, and forelorn expressions. Here are the happy waggy tails, and slobbery happy pantings!

As Wade and Jeepool head toward the grassy lawn off of the garage's rear driveway, Rogue glances in their direction.

"Just make sure he's back by dark. There's a Vampire cult in Westchester that I think might be out to get him... It's a long story, and a weird one ontop'a that."

She starts to walk toward the garage then as she sees some folks moving around inside it.

"Hey! Who's been gettin' in the back'a my car without askin' permission?"

And inside some voice replying "By the sounds of it, a lotta people, Rogue."

"That's cute. How about I cram ya in the trash can?"

And Xaviers School keeps on turning.