15305/Old Habits

Old Habits
Date of Scene:	04 July 2023
Location:	Interview Room: Triskelion
Synopsis:	Stadler and Bobbi (with Phil lurking in the corner) have a discussion on Richard's future with the organization that doesn't go quite how Richard had thought. One choice behind him, he now has a new one to agonize over.
Cast of Characters:	Richard Stadler, Bobbi Morse, Phil Coulson

---

Richard Stadler has posed:
     Stadler had spent at least an hour staring at the laptop screen at his home. It wasn't writer's block, certainly. He had typed it up three days after the excursion to the Damocles, playing it and every other event in his mind, running passed the old excuses and rationalizations, and finding them now lacking at every point. And the truth was he couldn't keep putting it off. But it still took an hour and 14 minutes to take a deep breath, and finally press send.

TO: B. Morse
FR: R. Stadler, P.hd
Subj: Future with Organization

     Cmdr Morse,

My apologies for the terseness of this message, but I understand the need for OPSec and I don't trust e-mail in general for it. I've done some 'soul searching' for lack of a better term, and I was wondering if you'd have an hour blocked off for a private discussion. I would suggest a secure area, though there's nothing about this that makes this flash traffic. Please let me know.

    Regards,
    Stadler

Bobbi Morse has posed:
"Soul searching.." Bobbi taps on the screen and brings up Richard's file. The first time she worked with the man they went up in to space and boarded a highly advanced sword shaped spaceship. That's quite the trial by fire. That and - what's this? a note from Romanoff about his exemplary conduct on a mission with her.

She raises an eyebrow and then shrugs her shoulders. "Soul searching it is." A few more taps and she's scheduled the man in for some 'private discussion' time.

The interview room takes on many functions, all of them interview related, but it's easier than bringing him all the way up to opsec and in to her personal office. On her way there she pauses by Phil's office and pokes her head in. "Hey Phil. Want to shadow an interview with one of our consultants? it could be a 'thanks but no thanks' or .. something else. I'm not sure yet."

Regardless she heads to the secure elevator and down to the interview floor. A swipe of her lanyard and she's in to the room. Tablet in hand she's been quickly glancing over the after action reports of his work with SHIELD so far.

Phil Coulson has posed:
Phil was, as Phil almost always is, filling out paperwork. With his suit imacculately pressed, he peers up at Bobbi with a brisk nod and a slip from his seat to move wth her towards the secure elevators that will take the pair of them down to the interview rooms. "Is this a good cop, bad cop scenario?" He wonders aloud, "We have a lot of consultants." By way of explanation what he means.

At any given time, there's no telling who will be consulting for SHIELD.

This could be some intergalactic terrorist who is trying to get out of tribal law execution from the Shi'ar empire for all he knows. "I've been practicing my stern face." Which is, if you ask literally anyone, his default setting.

Even his smiles are stern.

With his hands in the pockets of his slacks, he takes up a position in one corner of the interview room. Not necessarily in the shadows, because that would be weird... but certainly in the shadowy-er corner. He picked it's specific shadowish qualities. Then crosses his arms.

And looks stern.

Richard Stadler has posed:
     RIchard had been to the Triskelion enough to know his way around. There was the standard filling out paperwork, that big 'V' badge that was very effective at making someone feel like an outsider, clipped to the lapel of a suit jacket as he rides the elevator up to the interview floor, dress shoe tapping with nervous energy that he has to forcibly banish. A leather document holder, gold seal worn and obscured by his hand, held like his own shield in front of him as the elevator made it's stop, before he walked down the long corridor to the appropriate room that had been on the calendar invite.

A rapt on the door, followed by a quick peek in. "Ms. Morse. Thank you. I appreciate the time you've cut out... I have to imagine everyone's busy these days-" He starts, before he looks over to the man in the corner, frowning slightly. The man certainly looked familiar, but that's generally what bureaucrats were good at (said the pot to the kettle). "Security?" He asked Morse. "I'd expect I'd have to be a rather cunning fox to get anything through the body scanners at the entrance."

Bobbi Morse has posed:
Bobbi holds up the tablet for Phil to have a casual glance at. "Richard Stadler. Microbiologist. Currently works as a teacher and as a consultant to SHIELD. Nat likes him." She is very curious about that recommendation. She pauses though as Phil demonstrates his stern face. "Not bad. There's a real.. Brando feel to it."

Her smile grows a moment and then she hears the knock on the door. "I don't think we'll need good cop bad cop for this. But let's keep our options open." Her eyes turn to the door as she unlocks it. Little red light goes green.

"Come in Doctor Stadler." Ah the 'Doctor' game. How many minutes wasted in R&D with everyone calling each other Doctor. She tries not to let her mind wander back to the old days. SHIELD was a different place now than back then. The purge of HYDRA changed the make up of SHIELD permanently. For the better.

Her eyes follow Richard's back to Phil as he asks if he's security. "I think I can handle myself. Commander Coulson. Richard Stadler. Richard Stadler. Commander Coulson." Fancy titles done she motions to the chair across from her. "Terse message. You have my ear. Was it the giant alien sword spaceship.. too much? there's always a line people aren't willing to cross and giant alien sword spaceships is a pretty decent line to draw in the sand."

Phil Coulson has posed:
Phil takes the offered tablet and quickly looks over the list of credentials associated to the individual he's been invited along to interview. His face remains impassive, stern even (that's the last time I'll say that), but he's nodding along with what Bobbi says of his extensive resume. "I've heard of him." Unsurprising. Phil often does keep abreast of goings on, even if he's on assignment elsewheres during them.

With the knock, he replaces the tablet on the edge of the table and his hands in the pockets of his slacks. He could be security! Perhaps a little aged, but when is that ever stopped SHIELD from fielding an agent? Steve Rogers was over a hundred, afterall.

"Doctor." Said with a nod of greeting when he's introduced. "I'm just sitting in. Pretend I'm not here." Staring directly at you, not blinking anytime you look my way.

Richard Stadler has posed:
     A few minutes of wasted time was worth it to pump the ego up just a bit, certainly. One didn't claw their way through a dissertation to be called the same thing as gas station attendents and insurance salesman, after all.

"Oh, I don't doubt it, with your performance up on the ship. Certainly more of a fish for the water of that place. But you can never be too careful. Though it's going to be a little... difficult to pretend that, Commander." He's honest about it; the man's a professional, and those were always a little intimidating.

"And well... no. I mean it was a bit much, but it wasn't too much. It was a..." He says, his voice halting for a moment, before he sighs, rubbing the bridge of his nose, glasses lifted off of it for just a moment.

"I'll be honest with you, I'm... going to ramble a bit here. Call it my way of processing the... timeline, the narrative of what brought me here. I hope you don't mind. But I'll... start at the beginning."

Bobbi Morse has posed:
Bobbi can see the man has a lot to get off of his chest. About what, she's not entirely sure. The future of his time with SHIELD certainly but beyond that - if he can handle a giant alien sword spaceship he has a future here for sure. But, story time means getting comfy.

The seat is drawn back a little and her position is shifted upon it so she can slump just a little. A rambling is incoming after all and she's not on a mission where she has to butter up the mark. But still, she's put aside this time for him.

"Usually people do the rambling part in the shower so they get it all out of their system. But sure, go ahead." She raises an eyebrow. Lance has done far worse to her after all. "Story time it is. Try to remain on the pertinent details."

Phil Coulson has posed:
Phil can keep a straight face through anything.

Fighting Brood with absurd high science laser weapons? Straight-face.

Being told there's a sword shaped ship in space? Straight-face.

Listening to Theo Von and Bobby Lee riff on each other while doing paperwork? Straight-face.

So it is that he does so now. He nods with Bobbi, "Just the facts, Doc." It's hard to tell whether he even knows he just made a Dragnet reference, while doing a near spot on impression of Friday. Because, you guessed it.

Straight-faced.

Richard Stadler has posed:
     Rick's mouth quirks into a rueful smile at the rambling. "Oh, I've tried. Gone over it a bit in my head, but there's a difference in hearing it in my head and... committing to a course of faction, I hope you understand. If you need to shove me out the door, feel free; I'm sure Jack Webb here wouldn't mind." He notes. Dragnet was a bit before his time, but Nick At Nite wasn't. He steadies himself with another breath. Here we go.

"So. About... 2 years ago, I decided to make a career change. It wasn't... strictly necessary, but I had an idea of where I was headed; a bit of regurgitating information at Carlisle before getting a nice cramped space in that big office building they've got set up near Arlington. It took me away from why I had gotten into that profession in the first place, so... it was time for a change. And, don't get me wrong. It was a good change. I like being a school teacher; it's been full of unique challenges and rewarding work."

He pauses. "And I... well, I thought if I just... focused on those challenges, the positives, that I'd make the transition. Leave the old life behind to nostalgia and reminiscing with friends at a 4th of July barbecue every year. But... ahh. Well. You know the school I work at isn't exactly a normal one."

Bobbi Morse has posed:
"It's a pretty big lateral step, Colonel." She isn't even looking at the datapad. It's one of those sayings - never go in to a meeting without knowing who it is you're talking to. "And yes, those kids are very special. Each more unique than a snow flake. But it's hardly what you spent your professional career focused on."

Bobbi folds her arms against the table and leans forward. "Now you're getting mixed up in SHIELD operations. School life isn't doing it for you. You're wondering if you might have a more permanent home here?"

Spies. They have so many skills that are uncommon in every day life. Reading people is one of them. Like a magician, how they do it isn't revealed until you're one of them. "Did you retire from command because of the botched Central Africa mission?" Straight to the heart of it. She's still trying to understand his life choices.

Richard Stadler has posed:
     Stadler, at the comments, holds up two fingers, and for once in the meeting, doesn't look like he's indecisive about it. "A few things to clear up, I see. First, that mission wasn't botched. We did what we set out to do, and suffered setbacks. Numerous setbacks." He notes, leaning back in the chair. "Looking back at it in a leather chair amid air conditioning, it was a rather interesting exercise in adapting to changing circumstances. A friend of mine's still adapting, honestly. Left part of his leg over there but I am rambling."

He leans forward again. "So. Answer to that is no. I was able to exercise field authority in that case. I stepped out of that role because you can't remain in the field forever. And eventually I retired because I knew where it would take me. I'd have a star or two, desk at the Pentagon, and exceedingly removed from the twenty somethings I'm sending out to die."

He takes a deep breath. "And the problem... well, one of them, was I could do that. I know I could. ANd I didn't want to. Still don't want to. In fact, I like school life. Or this school, at least. The people in my classes are some of the brightest this city and country have to offer, and I doon't plan on giving up that role. But..."

And a non sequiter. "Have you ever read East of Eden? John Steinbeck?"

Bobbi Morse has posed:
"I don't get it. You speak with reverence about your job and then you ask about East of Eden. Are you not proud of what you're doing there? or is it simply not enough?" Bobbi leans back again as she studies his face. "You sure like taking the long way 'round. I'm surprised a guy like you is this conflicted."

Richard Stadler has posed:
     "Oh, that's the academic in me." Rick says, with another small, rueful smile on his face. "You know the type, a lot of talk to try to find what's... probably a simple solution. It's... a process, and I appreciate you being a part of it." He says, before taking a deep breath. "And I am. Proud of what I'm doing there, I mean. I... suppose that's more accurate, though. That it's not enough." He says, moving to fold his hands in front of him on the table

"Adam Trask, was who I was going to mention. I don't remember a lot, but it's always stuck with me, him coming back from the cavalry a corporal, but being unable to leave because he... he feels that cavalry collar stiff around his neck. I feel it, and it's simply not going away like I thought it would.

"So, I'm trying to reach... balance. Homeostasis, in this case. Between teaching there and doing work here. I had a few thoughts."

Bobbi Morse has posed:
"I found it hard to let go too. I took several months off from SHIELD after we destroyed a big big chunk of HYDRA. I was happy with that, just spending time with my husband, until HYDRA started rearing its ugly head again. Now that Alexander Pierce's legacy is done I was going to go back in to retirement."

Bobbi shifts on her seat a little, "But then my friend Steve asks me to join the Avengers and now I'm in the thick of something new. So it's hard to stay idle when you know you can do something about the state of the world."

She motions to him, "Your thoughts. Let's hear them."

Richard Stadler has posed:
     There's an empathetic nod from the man, and a single knife hand of agreement to accentuate. "/Thank you/. That's... something, too. Watching one of the 24 hour news channels and knowing you can handle something, and that the people you've left things to are perfectly capable, but not /you/.

"In terms of thoughts... well. The... agent thing, that's... tough. For a few reasons. I'm still a teacher, these days, and Lord knows I'm not a spook. No offense, I know a few and they're good... secretive people. Most importantly, though, my time as an officer and the latitude I've worked with make it difficult to work as just a... journeyman, so to speak.

"But it's also clear retirement isn't working out for me, either. I started my career in the Reserves, and I think I can give them a few more good years. One weekend a month, two week a year and any... additional time as may be warranted. And given that this is a NATO command..."

He gives a slight shurg of his shoulders. "It's an outline, admittedly, but it's what I'm working with currently."

Bobbi Morse has posed:
"Well. Part time or otherwise, becoming an agent isn't easy. Back in the day all agents went through SHIELD academy. But times have changed. SHIELD is leaner than it once was. When we went dark after HYDRA attempted a coup, new provisions were put in place for potential agents to learn in the field, on the job so to speak."

"We had a lot of talented people join us - sending them away to an academy while we could use their existing skills was not a good idea. That said, to become an agent you still need to learn all the skills an agent needs."

"Anything less is like leaving a loaded gun in a room with a.. well, you know the saying. If you're not done learning then that's a direction you could consider taking. It's a lot though. Being a professional busy body is a very wide field. From tactics, techniques, history, technology, weapons, vehicles... if you were truly looking for a new challenge then there's probably no taller hill to climb for someone with your resume."

Richard Stadler has posed:
     Stadler gives a nod. "I wouldn't expect it to be. This is an organization on the front line of wars the world doesn't know you're fighting, after all. You're not just going to let in anyone with 9 weeks at Benning- Sorry. Moore. Still getting used to that. But I admit I... am a bit suprise to hear you don't send everyone to the Academy."

He gives a bit of a shake. "And that's one of the reasons I'm not... currently, planning on becoming an agent. The other being that while I can start from the bottom as a teacher, but this..."

He sighs. "I'm nearly 48, rapidly approching my fifties. I've worn eagles on my lapels, a handful of Purple Hearts and a goddamn DSC; I can't exactly... what, sit in a classroom learning about dead drops?"

Bobbi Morse has posed:
Bobbi shakes her head and chuckles. "No. It's easier to teach you that in the field doing it. Keep in mind a lot of those youngen's in SHIELD academy are also finishing off their degrees. You're already a skilled actor - and any one with a pertinent degree under their belt enters SHIELD at level 5."

"That also means you can't become an agent until you know enough about being an agent that you -are- a level 5. Life experiences help a great deal with that. You have a lot of that under your belt. Adjusting to the SHIELD way of doing things.. well you're starting to get a taste for that already."

"If you were interested, that'd mean you'd no longer be a consultant. Agent level 1 may seem like it's down the bottom, but probationary agents aren't expected to have all the answers. You'd also be jumping from 1 to 5 when you're ready."

Richard Stadler has posed:
     Stadler leans back again, and he's silent for a few moments. "You... realize this has just complicated some matters here in my elaborate scam to cheat you folks out of a NATO Medal. Really rounds out the ribbon rack, accentuates the Army Commendation. Let's see." He says, taking another moment or two.

"I... admit. I'd have to think about this a bit more. It's clear that the center cannot hold, so to speak. I've run it over too many times, and I can't just keep... running off like a freebooter when the alert comes through. Personally, I mean. Same for simply doing nothing and going back to exclusive grading papers and puttering around a VFW hall. I... honestly, I had hoped I'd be able to take my rank through this process."

He frowns a bit. "Though... I should clarify. I'm not leaving those kids in a lurch. This would have to work with my teaching career, or else I'm back into a tempest of uncertainty."

Bobbi Morse has posed:
Bobbi chuckles at his joke ulterior motive. "You know we don't get to take our medals with us out of the Triskelion right?" She winks across the table at him. "And I'm not surprised. There's a lot to consider - being a Colonel, that's a big role in the world. But SHIELD? well, you've had a taste of what we deal with. This is the big leagues Stadler."

"We're going to gladly accept your continued participation as a consultant. But if you want a real stake in how things play out, becoming a level 5 Special Agent is the way to go. Rank in this institution is about the number of secrets you know and how much paperwork you fill out. Believe me if I could be a level 6 agent again I would."

"The rank and file of SHIELD are level 3, the ones of those who have proven themselves, level 4. Level 5 is where those with special skills live and level 6 are the senior agents who have the scars to prove it. Level 7 run the field operations and level 8, commanders, we oversea pretty much everything. Then you've got Level 9, who oversea us.. and Level 10 which is Fury. So, don't think of the levels quite like the military."

Richard Stadler has posed:
     "Oh, I just need the right paperwork for it, you know?" Rick states, and with just a touch of smugness. "Army's the one that issues it, after all. You'd be surprised on what you can do knowing the right people and the right loopholes." The attitude at least falls more into contrition, however, "I imagine so. My first reaction is to bristle, I admit. Battalion level command, some of the best and brightest... but the tempo here is decidedly higher than my previous employment. And like hell if I ever went to space before. Most of the aliens I met were on the ground, and God, it was a near thing when we did. But that's a story for another time."

At the notion of paperwork, he actually looks interested. "As I aluded to, the right paperwork can do anything. Honestly, too many people shy away from bureaucracy. I do like being close to those that I'm sending out, don't get me wrong, but sometimes the best way you can support is ensuring that there's a battery of M-trip-sevens that just so conveniently got routed to the area. The ranks are... informative, certainly. Always found it a bit odd that it isn't more military, but... well. It gets the job done, clearly."

He's silent for a moment more, before standing up. "I have some things to think about, obviously. This conversation went in an.. interesting direction, and I have some things to consider short, soft sound off amusement. "If anything, this helps me answer one question and leaves me with another. Would you mind if I came back to you with my answer in a day or two?"

Bobbi Morse has posed:
Bobbi rises from her seat and offers her hand to him, "My door is metaphorically always open. But only because you don't have the clearance to go to the level where my door is." She lingers the sentence suggesting a 'yet'. A small smile and she adds, "Take your time."

Richard Stadler has posed:
     Stadler fixes his own smile, professionally, gathering his leather document case and gripping Bobbi's hand in a firm hand shake. "Appreciated. Good afternoon, Commander." He'll say, before he moves to the door and out.

He hadn't solved his dilemma, it seemed. But it had at least moved to a different stage.