16125/The Plot to Kill Thanos: Part 1!

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The Plot to Kill Thanos: Part 1!
Date of Scene: 20 October 2023
Location: Freaky Tiki
Synopsis: The PLOT BEGINS!
Cast of Characters: Wade Wilson, Melissa Gold




Wade Wilson has posed:
    If ever there was a place to have a clandestine meeting it was here. In the Freaky Tiki. A beautiful home for the discerning world traveler, Freaky Tiki has it all. Palm Trees. Hula Girls. Tiki Torches. It also has reasonable hours of operation and family meal deals that are to die for.
    Yet it was clearly also the hub of all spy activity in Gotham. And it was here that the fate of the universe would be decided! For the man, Wade Wilson, Deadpool to some, loved by millions, was here to save the world.
    Which is the moment the waitress lifts her voice, "Sorry hon, you'll have to speak up. I didn't catch any of that."
    Wade, in brown fedora and with a mustache pasted precariously upon his mask lifts his head, "Oh umm, I'll have the King Tiki Tiki special 'cue platter."
    Then the waitress turns to Melissa and asks, "And you, hon?"

Melissa Gold has posed:
"That's for two, right?" Melissa asks as she finds it on the menu because obviously something with that name was more food than a single person would be able to eat. Otherwise it wouldn't be called a platter. And it even said on the menu it was for two. But a glance at the fake pornstached man before her, mask and all, let her know that no, this was not meant to be shared.

"I'll go with the barbeque pork plate. And for a drink..." She scanned the list then looked at the server. "Do you have sweet tea?"

"Sure. You just put the sugar in it from the packets on the table," was the reply from the server.

Which got a rather unapproving look from Mel before she looked back at the menu. "The Grand Supreme Mai Tai pitcher." And a glance at Wade to be sure he was listening. "For me and only me. One glass."

Then she folded her menu and handed it over to the server.

Wade Wilson has posed:
    "I mean, they could. I suppose. That's not what I'm doing now. This is _my_ platter, lady." Wade says affecting a mildly hurt tone, as if it was the height of rudenss to presume ones access to the King Tiki Tiki. He shakes his head slightly, as if bemoaning the lack of manners imparted upon some peoples' children.
    "Fine, you keep your pitcher, I keep my platter." He says that last little bit rhythmically with a lilt to his voice. Then he hums to himself. "You keep your pitcher, I keep my plater."
    Then he sings the next verse softly, "I keep the hammer, you keep the ladder."
    "Pitcher. Platter!" He says louder, then spreads his arms wide, "Hammer ladder. Let's call the whole thing off!"
    And then he sits back down in his chair, not realizing he had stood up to sing that last part loudly. He looks around the room, catching the side eye from some of the guests who are... _already_ a little taken aback by the man in the red and black suit with the katanas on his back. Though that doesn't stop him from humming a little more.
    "But okay, Goldberg. I have a thing we need to do. It's important." He slowly reaches down to the side of his chair and picks up the black valise and sets it on the table with a thump. Then spins it around toward her, knocking over the salt shaker as he does so. "You may need to get it signed off with the Lady upstairs. And I'm not talking about God. I'm talking about the one who Walls."

Melissa Gold has posed:
As he gets into it, Mel just rides the wave. Because she has actually started to learn. There was no way to stop such things. Saying anything about it was useless as in an hour, he might not even remember what he did so he certainly wouldn't remember being told that was a touch over the top. Thus, just go with with. It would end quickly enough usually as the next thing caught his attention and he was off like a dog after a squirrel.

She quickly righted the salt shaker, brushing the spilled grains into her left hand. And promptly tossing it over her left shoulder. Thankfully there was no one in the booth behind them or that might've been awkward. More awkward than a mustachioed masked man with katanas? Maybe not.

She eyed the valise a moment. A very long moment. Because opening it might be something she regrets. Yet, she couldn't not open it because she was curious now when he said that their boss might be interested in this one. "Oh?" Very astute answer. Impressive as hell.

She moved to open it to see what was inside as she added, "And why is that?"

Wade Wilson has posed:
    "I got this guy, see." Wade motions with one gloved hand, "He keeps an eye on things for me. One of my many many friends I have in my very successful social life and vibrant activities calendar. One moment."
    He turns to the side and _sobs_ very softly, then turns back.
    "And he gave me a heads up. There is a very real threat to our people and our way of life. A threat that must be addressed. Now I am sure you'll want to take some time... do your own homework..."
    He takes that moment to press his thumbs against the flip-locks on the valise and undo them at the same time. He stops there, inhaling deeply through the mask audibly 'snorfing' a bit before he whispers, "Can you smell that? That... is the scent of dramatic portent."
    He then _lifts_ the top of the briefcase exposing the interior. A manila folder. He takes the folder and sets it on the table right next to the flickering little electronic red candle-wick contained in its glass vessel. As the folder is set down a myriad of crayon drawings on construction paper slide out of it.
    "We are facing the most existentialisty threat. It is very real. So real." A glance at the construction paper. "That's not the intel. Don't worry. I'm not that far gone." He starts to push through the papers and produces a few actual documents. "There've been sightings of a possible invasion. An invasion of one."

Melissa Gold has posed:
The drama was amusing. Mel did her best not to let that amusement show on her face though there was a hint of a smile. That could be taken as a polite smile though instead of something major.

As the crayon drawings appeared, she remembered there were some of those in the past. Thus his statements that he wasn't that far gone was just an example of the fact he didn't always remember things from day to day.

"That sounds more like something that the Avengers or Justice League should be looking into," Mel suggested even as she found herself leaning forward slightly and trying to resist reaching out to open the folder herself. He'd get to it in due time. Though she inched her hand toward the folder a little bit if he took too long.

"And one person doesn't seem like that huge of a threat."

Wade Wilson has posed:
    "Oh yeah sure, the Smellvengers and the Justice Smells. They'll get to it whenever they get around it, whlie they spend all their time having cute little parties together and wondering who is dating whom. And blowing things up while crying about how nobody understands them. Just like the X-Men, but with less color-coordinated uniforms." He starts to gather up the crayon drawings which are all variations on a theme of a cartoon Wade doing all sorts of exciting activities with his 'friends'. Though the theme connecting them all does seem to be a large purple man in a trenchcoat.
    "But if my guy is right. And he almost always is. Except for like... that time he bet on me dying. That wasn't very smart of him. But if he's like... and ok he totally isn't Weasel. I know you're thinking I'm going back to that well. I am not. I am not that creatively bankrupt."
    He clears his throat, "But this is a totally real thing, and if you look at it. The dude has these like... things that let him do all sorts of crazy magical things. It's weird! Almost as if it..."
    He turns away and rises up from the table, planting a hand on the top of the now closed valise. "Might lead to a shared universe and record high ticket sales!"
    He then sits down quickly and adds, "And then sure, afterward probably lead itself to a bunch of half-assed tv series and movies that nobody goes to. But still! We'll always have Paris."

Melissa Gold has posed:
And moments like this, she had no idea what he was talking about. The words made sense. Movies, tv shows, ticket sales. Those all were normal things. But how they pertained to their lives she had NO idea. Thus the single sentence. "We haven't been to Paris. You might have been. But not us."

Mel motioned to the images and pointed to the figure in the trenchcoat. "This guy? What sort of stuff does he do and what is the threat involved here? And why does your source, that is totally not Weasel, think he is coming and going to be a huge threat?"

It was that moment the server arrived with their drinks. Then she was gone again. Mel eyed her mai tai that was in a tiki mug--because of course it was here--with an umbrella, a flower and a twisty straw. "Ooookay." Yet she pulled it over and took a sip, pleasantly surprised by the taste.

Wade Wilson has posed:
    Wade stood up then, "I understand your hesitance, but trust me, more shall be revealed as we embark upon our plan..." He turns and then gestures openly and points off in the distance as he yells, "That's right kids, the Suicide Squad..."

    "MUST KILL THANOS!"





    Then, over his shoulder he whispers without moving from his dramatic stance, pointing intrepidly off into the distance to murmur to the server. "Separate checks please."