16690/PotatoCakeageddon

PotatoCakeageddon
Date of Scene:	27 December 2023
Location:	Arby's Restaurant
Synopsis:	Diana comes to the defense of corporate America despite their horrible transgressions!
Cast of Characters:	Wade Wilson, Diana Prince

---

Wade Wilson has posed:
    "You need to tell me that again and tell it to me slow, buddy."
    Ominous words that hang heavy in the air of the suddenly quiet Arby's just off of route 17 near exit 112. Not quite out of the city, but not quite in it. It hovers in that particular twilight area of urban renewal on the edge of no less than four townships. Not exactly a place that is well-trodden by the cape and cowl crowd, but for some of that particular scene... there is a bit of a draw to the place.
    And for the man known as Wade Woodrow Winston Wilson, AKA Deadpool, that draw can be narrowed down even further than the norm. The weight of his regard can be judged and measured by the way he stands there about six feet from the counter, his left arm extended and holding what looks to be a bolt action rifle, though at the end of that rifle it doesn't have an open barrel but instead it has what one could only call... a spear. Or perhaps a harpoon. A harpoon he's holding aimed at the cashier of the moment who takes that instant to answer.
    "I... I was saying we... we don't carry potato cakes. Anymore, sir."
    "That... is what I thought you said. And I'm telling you right now. I am refusing to accept that. This isn't no Berenstain Bears, Nelson Mandela, Fruit of the Loom cornucopia bullshit. I am not going to lie down and accept it." He gestures with the rifle, "So tell your buddy there with the cellphone to go on back and look in the freezer. You must have some back there..."
    The pimply faced teen looks to the side at the other cashier who had been filming the encounter surreptitiously, but then their eyes meet and one kid shakes his head at the other. "Sir we... we don't have any back there."
    "You ever hear of the theory how the world ended in 2007?"
    "Sir?"
    "Apparently there's this brilliant kid who thinks the world ended in 2007 when they fired up the CERN collider thingamabob. Some kid who is like smart, like Tony Stark had a baby with Reed Richards with Dr. Nemesis as their Doula smart. He says when the big brains fired it up we went kaboom and shunted over to another universe. Which is why we're all thinking crazy things. And I'm telling you this better be one of those crazy things. So you go into the back, you collapse the wave function by opening the freezer door and show me Schrodinger's Potato Cake or I start gettin' all sorts of trigger-fingery, and not in the nice way."

Diana Prince has posed:
Why on Earth would Diana of Themyscira ever go to an Arby's? You wouldn't ask that question, if you were familiar with the Jamocha shakes...

As it so happens, this Arby's lays directly beneath the route that Diana's invisible jet often takes when flying between Manhattan and the distant Metropolis. Tonight, it descended from the sky, and was currently hovering above the building itself, entirely invisible...

While Wade pitches his Tik Tok theories to the cashiers, the door to the restaurant jingles with a happy little bell sound, followed by the atmosphere sweeping about the interior of the restaurant.

"Oh dear..." A husky pitched female voice says, as her eyes fall upon the situation inside. The clerks, and customers, of this establishment had been destined for a treat tonight, for Wonder Woman herself, clad in her gold, blue and crimson armor, now stands just inside the doorway. But instead of there being smiles and happiness, Wade Wilson also chose tonight to be here.

With her arms now crossed over her stomach, her bracers of submission glinting in the harsh restaurant lighting, Diana levels her gaze at Deadpool, and frowns visibly at him.

"Mister Wilson..." She says, her accented English toying with his name in ways he's likely never heard before. "Please put the spear weapon down." The Amazon kindly commands of him, as she stands there with her armored feet comfortably apart, her long legs partially visible out of the top of the metal boots, and her posture one of readiness, with a side order of reserved confidence.

Wade Wilson has posed:
    Quickly the kid with the phone behind the counter looks at his friend and then shrugs and abandons his comrade at the cash-register. He breaks into the back, dashing through the wafting scents of delicious roast beef and horrifying potato detritus known as curly fries. Which leaves his friend still up front with a harpoon gun aimed at him.
    "Oh, you noticed my exquisite hardware?" Wade lifts his masked head, chin jutting forward. "This particular piece is famous. Got all the upvotes when it was featured on Kentucky Ballistics. It's pretty nice, right?"
    The youth swallows, "It... it looks great?"
    "You're damn right it does. That's because what you see is raw sensual power. Most harpoon guns use compressed air for propulsion. But not this sweet baby. It uses the awesome firepower of a .22 long rifle shell. That's right. One step up from a BB gun. Don't laugh. Super dangerous." He then turns and hoists the weapon to point up toward the ceiling. "I was hoping to like, take a moment and dramatically shoot a harpoon into like the Arby's mascot but you guys don't have a mascot anymore do you? What the fuck was it? I remember the commercials. Like... an oven mitt?"
    The cashier shakes his head quickly, while some of the customers are now filming Deadpool with their phones, and some others might actually be calling the police. The kid at the counter, however, shakes his head quickly though his eyes stray to the approach of none other than Wonder Woman. "I... I don't know. I only started working here a couple months ago."
    "One sec," And Wade lowers his head as he produces his own cellphone and swipes it to life with the sweep of one thumb. After a few moments he raises his voice without looking up, "Yup, an oven mi..."
    Which is the moment when Wade hears her voice turning his head to the side. Those white eyelets meet her smouldering gaze and he gives a quick nod. "Oh hey Diana."
    He looks back to the kid behind the counter. There's a space of time of a single broken beat, then those eyelets WIDEN. The harpoon gun points down as he spins back to her.
    "Oh HEY. _Diana_." Those words repeated yet emphasized in an entirely different manner.
    "What... this? Pfft, cosplay prop. Totally harmless. I forgot the orange spray paint for the tip. Was going as... Red Manta. Grrr Arthur Curry you suck, grr. Just being in character."

Diana Prince has posed:
Diana considered Wade to be a wildcard, to say the least. Based on her reserach of him, he by and large meant well... but something had happened to him at some point that really did send him over the edge. He was dangerous, but he also could be contained, to some degree.

Diana's eyes watch the weapon he's holding intently, though, as she watches him lowering it to aim at the floor. It is then that her eyes dance up to his covered own, and she shows him a faint smirk, laced with a playful sarcasm.

"I take it you have had trouble with your order?" She inquires, her arms uncrossing as she affords a look to the custoemrs who are eyeing both of them openly, gawking even, and those recording get a wave from the Princess' right hand.

Diana approaches Wade then, and reaches out for his harpoon gun. She lets him decide if he'd like to hand it over to her or not, though.

Her eyes remain on his face, her bottom lip is bit down upon for a moment as she waits for the gun to be handed over, even doing the finger waggles to say 'gimme' without vocalizing it.

"How was your Christmas?" She asks him then, now glancing toward the cashier. "I will pay for Mister Wilson's order. Please put a Jamocha shake on it?" She asks of the teenager behind the counter, before her eyes go back to Wade's white eyelits.

"Suffering from Holiday stress, I take it?" She further jests in her calming bvoice.

Wade Wilson has posed:
    "Oh sure, here. Merry Christmas." He offers as he extends the harpoon gun towards her, reversing it and offering it to her grip first. "I was going to get it in pink for you, but it was on back order and Amazon takes forever this time of year."
    With such lies so casually uttered he rests his hands on his hips and seems to forget the tableau of stress and mayhem he had created by threatening the poor employees so. His focus? Entirely on Diana as he flares his hands slightly, "My holidays? Pretty okay. Got this side gig going on, Josh Brolin dealio."
    But then she _reminds_ him of the problems he's been having. "Oh right, my order. Yes, totally. Very Holiday Stresstastic. You cannot believe..." He stops talking to her and turns.
    "Tell her, kiddo. Tell her the evils your corporate overlords have commmited in the name of profit at the cost of deep fried flavor."
    Which has the cashier kid looking nervously between the two of them as he says softly, quietly, "We... we no longer carry potato cakes?"
    Wade thrusts a hand out to gesture at the cashier, but addresses Diana as he emphasizes those words with repetition. "They NO longer carry potato cakes." As if that was reason enough for any amount of firepower induced intimidation.

Diana Prince has posed:
When he hands the weapon over to her, Diana cradles it in her leather wrapped palms. She lowers her eyes to it, to trace them over the design of its central housing whilst she listens to what Wade has to say. At the last bit about the potatoes, Diana looks up and over to the cashier. She offers the boy a sympathetic expression before she regards Deadpool once more. "The perils of growing attached to fast food menus. They change, shift like the dunes of any great desert."

Diana thrusts the weapon back at Wade's chest then, letting him have it back. "But these employees did not make the changes, it is unfair to hold it on their shoulders. They merely are working for their money, for a better life." She then states, showing a grin toward Wade then as she turns away from him.

With a light step, the Princess in the gladiator armor almost skips toward the counter, coming to stand before it, as her leather wrapped hands go to the edges of the counter's top, and she leans upon it, as she converses with the clerk for a moment, asking him a question or two, and getting nervously stammered responses.

When Diana's drink is brought to her, she is cheerily thanking them, and as the price of the order is offered, Diana reaches for a small leather pouch on the back of her harness, pressed up against the small of her back. She produces a cell phone, and is quick to use the app to transfer the payment.

"And do you have any idea when these potato cakes might return?" She asks of the clerk now, clearly worried for Wade's diet.

Wade Wilson has posed:
    "Ahh, I get what you're saying then..." Wade says as he plans a trip to corporate headquarters then, inspired by Diana's words. He nods, taking up the harpoon gun and casually working on the firing mechanism, undoing the pin and slipping that small piece of gear into his pocket, just to make sure it won't accidentally fire since for some reason he seems to care about that now. Then he rests the rifle over his shoulders, hooking his arms over it affecting that oh so non-chalant look as he follows after her.
    Then she inquires to the youth who rings up her order as one of the other employees sets down two king sized roast beef sandwiches. The kid who dashed into the back comes back up to the front and just sadly shakes his head at his friend, indeed we have no potato cakes today. But then he catches sight of Diana and he freezes... points at her and quirks an eyebrow at his friend... who nods nods in reply. Then he answers Diana's question, "I... I think they're gone for good, miss?"
    As the meal is gathered, Wade leeeeeans against the counter, stll holding the rifle over his shoulders, even as he sucks in his gut a little more to emphasize those awesome abs. Holding his breath he says, "Soooo... is it too much to imagine you've been following me around looking for the perfect excuse to talk to me again, or is it just that you love Jamocha shakes that much more than me?" He finally exhales, then holds his breath again, "I mean, not that I can blame you, those are pretty tasty."

Diana Prince has posed:
The second employee to step out to see Diana is greeted by her with a warm smile and a soft 'Hello.' but then the Princess is regarding the lead cashier who gets a frown. "Oh, I am sorry to hear that. For... his sake." She motions toward Wade on her right side. With her drink before her, and the food paid for, Diana receives a straw from the dispensor, and uncovers it with a swipe of her fingers across its length. She slips the straw in to the bubble cap top of her drink, and swirls it a moment before she turns to face Wade then.

Wade is given a chance to watch Diana enjoy the shake through the use of the straw, his question possibly being answered by her action of choosing to drink the Jamocha before respond to him.

When she finishes with her long pull from the red straw, Diana just smiles at him. "I am ever eager for a chance to verbally spar with you, Mister Wilson." She butters him up. "But in this instance, call it fate, that I were to arrive here this evening... and keep you from doing something potentially... ill-fated."

Her lips go about the straw again, and Diana takes another pull from it.

To her right, a little kid approaches, offering his hand to Diana. She turns to shake hands with the child, and even kneel to take a selfie-with them, the kid's father standing aside, giving Wade a questionable look before his eyes return to his kid and Wonder Woman posing together.

"Curly Friiiieeees!" Diana says at the same time as the little boy, having agreed upon it as the best thing to say for the photo.

Wade Wilson has posed:
    "Aww, you know me, my bark is you know..." Wade's attention follows along at points with that straw, with the wrapper, and to be fair... with the lips involved in that operation. Behind the mask he does seem to subtly bite his lower lip a little as he heaves a small sigh, then shakes his head. A quick claim of his bag of sandwiches, then he's following after her again.
    "I wouldn't have done nothin'..." His voice dropping just a little.
    But then the kid gets his photo with the princess and Deadpool is relegated briefly to observer, having the wherewithal to actually be quiet for a brief moment. Once she's standing back up, Wade moves with her as they stroll. "How do you do it, Princess? Just flow through things so effortlessly? I'm jealous. Is it just the pure cuteness factor?"

Diana Prince has posed:
After finishing up with the young fan, Diana offers them another handshake, as well as one to the father. She turns her attention back to Wade, who is asking her for trade secrets. Wade earns a sly grin from her, and she speaks lowly for a moment. "Years of arduous practice."

She glances at his claimed dinner then. "Did you get the best that they had to offer?" She asks him back, before she moves toward the exit she'd come in through. A wave of her hand is offered to the employees, before Diana holds the door open for Wade... perhaps manipulating him in to leaving with her, so as not to cause more of a fuss after she'd left.

She's tricksy like that!

As she holds the door open, she takes another sip of the delicious drink, the whipped cream coating her straw as she swirls it around once again.

"In truth, I merely live for the moment, and enjoy smiles above all other things. Smiles bare the fruit of blossoming happiness, that spreads to corners far and wide. They are the solution to many of the world's woes, if only we can figure out a better way of creating them, and keeping them contagious..." She further details toward the man in black and red.

Wade Wilson has posed:
    "I got the best of what was left," Wade says as she effortlessly manipulates him into following after her. Which he seems ever so inclined to allow it, wandering along in her orbit, drawn forth by the gravitic social pull of the princess and her politeness. He tucks the gun under his arm, holding it like a British huntsman in pursuit of a fox, ever so debonair. Out into the parking lot with her where she might well espy his old white and black van with the large exterminator services sign on the side of it.
    "See, there you go saying something like that. Normally, if like _anyone_ else this side of Mother Theresa said something like that to me, well it would be like a green light for me to make fun of them for a solid seven minutes straight. Maybe even eight if I pushed it. But you say it, and it's like... I'm all, 'Yeah... yeah maybe I should make people smile!'"
    He then holds up a hand, "And no I'm not doing it just because of your potential ass-kickeryness. I don't value my hide that much. And it's not because of your rampant painfully acute hawtness. Since that is far from a get out of Jail free card for me."

Diana Prince has posed:
Even outside in the December cold, Diana doesn't seem phased by it in her state of underdressed. She still smiles, she doesn't seem to remotely shiver or react to it like as if it were a summer afternoon still. She even laughs softly at what Wade says, as many inside the Arby's are still filming them as they leave.

A look is given to the van, a questioning look, but she doesn't comment on it. Instead she just looks back toward Wade instead. "Well, I spoke to your Employer. I think we reached a semi-agreeable frame of mind. She is not a woman I put much trust in anymore, but I believe she will play by the rules. If something should come up to make you believe otherwise, you know how to find me."

Does he though?

Behind Diana, out in the Arby's front lawn, the shimmer of atmospheric disturbance waves through the air, and the entire form of the cloud-hued and dagger-shaped, Invisible Jet forms in to view, becoming quite Visible.

It waits with a side ramp lowered down to the grass, waiting for the Princess like some exotic alien craft.

Wade Wilson has posed:
    Stopping to stand beside his van, Wade's white eyelets follow the princess as she walks toward the Invisible Jet. He slides open the door and tosses the rifle inside, then sliiiides that door back shut with a heav whirr and a thud. He takes a deep breath and nods toward Diana, "Yeah, I mean... I sorta do. Know how to find you. I guess."
    He then points at her jet and says, "You know if the Hadron Collider hadn't blown up in 2007 there'd be a reality out there where you sweep me off my feet and we ride off into the sunset leaving behind all of the world's woes and tribulations behind. No more Wallerface, no more Justice League, no more thirsty Amazons chasing after you. Just you, me, and Jamocha Shakes as far as the eye can see."
    Then he takes in a deep breath, exhales, "Alas."

Diana Prince has posed:
It's possible that Diana did spare a look inside the van, when the door was thrown open. Just... to make sure there weren't anyone inside it with duct tape over their mouth, etc etc...

When the door slid shut again, Diana's eyes went back to Wade's own, and his words earned another laughter of melodic tones from the Princess. She waggled her drink cup at him, then turned toward her jet.

"Oh what a wonderful world..." She says of his alternate reality, allowing more of the same laugh to bubble up and out again as she walked on toward her elegantly shaped ride.

"Good evening, Mister Wilson. enjoy your food, and if you get heart burn, try a spoonful of baking soda mixed in to a cup of water."

She knows motherly home remedies too!

With a little wave of her hand, the Princess started toward that open ramp toward the Jet's interior, her dark hair flowing in the December wind behind her bare shoulders.