3853/Six Leagues Over The Pool (And Other Arm References)

Six Leagues Over The Pool (And Other Arm References)
Date of Scene:	18 October 2020
Location:	Belle Reve Penitentiary
Synopsis:	Wade, Harley, and Spiral all bond over their abnormalities, and vow to believe in themselves and that they're human after all!
Cast of Characters:	Wade Wilson, Spiral, Harley Quinn

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Wade Wilson has posed:
Not generally a morning person, Wade made it to the prison like a kid going to school to prepare. One of the prison lunch tables is covered in a checkered picnic cloth, there's candles lit, and rather than some kind of elaborate dinner, there's an assortment of finger foods around the table. Things like chicken fingers, mozzarella sticks, dip.

There's nothing fancy here.

The guards aren't bothering him, mostly because he's not brandishing a weapon, and there's no point in putting him into a position where he //will// brandish a weapon.

So he sits on the table with no one else there, threatening anyone who approaches as he seems to be waiting for something or someone.

Spiral has posed:
Spiral has been taking full advantage of the free room and board here. Or... at least the food. She tends to dance in and out of the prison after all, doing whatever it is she does when she's not in here. Probably nothing good.

But eventually she pops into existence in the canteen, looking for her daily gumbo ration. And looks around, and... "What are you doing, Wade?" she asks, not two, but four hands going to her hips. "Very surreal, my 'owner' would approve. I should leak this to the Daily Planet, prison isn't supposed to be a picnic after all!".

The guards are even less happy now Spiral is around! Given there was some weird 'incident' in here a week ago, there's a guard in the infirmary recovering from having his eyes gouged. Spiral didn't do it, but she was present, and that's bad enough.

Wade Wilson has posed:
"The other night you said you had a //crush// on me!" Wade says in shock, raising the lower half of his mask to bite a mozzarella stick. Obviously she didn't say //that// exactly, but that's how he remembers it. "I didn't even know you considered me in your league. You know, Harley only likes //hot// guys, when she sees my face she'll never date me. And you have //six arms//, so I just naturally assumed you were out of my league."

He motions around the table. "Anyway, we're on a date now!"

Spiral has posed:
Now the other two hands go to her hips. All six! that's some serious disapproval going on. "I didn't say that, Wade. I thought maybe we had an understanding... freak to freak. But then in your moment of extradimensional clarity who did you think of first? Harley Quinn?". Spiral's lip twists. "Who conforms perfectly in body, if not in mind. The most conventional beauty out there.". She sighs, sounding more disappointed than anything else.

"So, all those arm comments just the same as everybody elses, as I first thought. Mocking my twisted form.". Two arms come up, fists clenched in anger. "And to think I endured those words without comment. When you were laughing at me all along.".

Wade Wilson has posed:
"You're wrong! I thought you weren't interested, and I thought me and Harley had a connection! But she keeps crushing my nuts, I think it's a hint." Wade reaches down and winces, despite not actually being in pain at the moment. "If I knew you were interested I'd have been thinking of you and your arms every night!"

He stands up and motions across the table. "I made you a dinner of finger foods, to represent my love of your many appendages! I can't control what the Lovecraftian brain worms make me do, but the real me is making you finger foods!"

Spiral has posed:
Spiral waves a hand irritably. "Harley and you! I see." she wonders. "I'm going to be in someone's shadow forever. Mojo, Waller, Harley... I suppose they get more agreeable as time goes on.".

Still, it makes a change from gumbo, so she flops down into a chair, and delicately selects a mozzarella stick. "It's ironic given I am happy enough to dance alone in the Wildways, but never get to do it." she grumps. "The real you... I don't think I've ever met the real you, funny man.".

It makes a change from prison gumbo though, so she starts eating bits here and there, arms giving an advantage at buffets as well as swordplay.

Wade Wilson has posed:
"I don't like to dwell on people who seem out of my league." Wade suddenly pulls his mask off, pointing at his face. "Do I look like a man who can get a six armed woman to like me???" he asks, while using his other hand to slide a bagel bite into his mouth.

"Why are you the one being insecure? I didn't try to date you because //I// was being insecure! We can't both be insecure!" He holds up another pizza bagel. "It looks just like my face."

Spiral has posed:
Spiral laughs at that, the middle two arms wrapping around herself, while the lower two settle on her knees, and the top two forage for foods. "The face means nothing, Wade. Just like my arms are only the most obvious evidence of what was done to me.".

She shakes her head, after munching on chicken dip. "You are insecure because of your face." she tells him, the metal hand pointing at him. "If you had a handsome face, you would be 'fixed', no? Easy. You're still a human, under that face. I have been irrevocably broken and remade, in body and mind. Made for the purpose of dancing through time and space, at the whim of others.".

Wade Wilson has posed:
"I //love// dancing!" Wade points a french toast stick at her, as if he's making a great argument. "I wouldn't be fixed, my brain is all addled and scrambled due to the constantly healing cancer!" He pulls out a dagger and suddenly stabs it into the back of his hand, pinning it into the table, then yells at the top of his lungs. "See??? I'm insane!"

"Listen, what I'm saying is..." He doesn't pull the dagger out, he instead starts eating french toast sticks. "You should be my girlfriend."

Spiral has posed:
Spiral listens to all this, her glowing white eyes becoming half lidded. And munches quietly on mozzarella sticks throughout. "Ugh." she eventually says, stretching out all her arms except the one handling the food - she only has one mouth after all.

"I will forget the extradimensional brain parasites, I suppose. I wasn't expecting or needing an apology anyway. So, if you refer to my arms again, I will give you the benefit of the doubt... as before.".

She gets up then, and wraps all her arms about herself. "Love and tragedy are the same thing in my experience. And I've had enough of both... I don't think your star power is going to change that. Actually, it might be a liability, for both of us.". Imagine Mojo returning to find her with Deadpool hanging off an arm, it doesn't bear thinking about!

Wade Wilson has posed:
"So what you're saying is that I //don't// have a chance?" Wade asks as he slides his mask back on, though keeps it rolled up a little to eat. "So wait, you don't want me to try to date Harley, but also you don't want to date me???" By this point, he's just shoving a handful of chicken nuggets into his mouth.

He is eating the pain and confusion away.

"I'm an idiot please explain." he asks with his mouth full.

Spiral has posed:
Spiral makes no sense to people quite often anyway, let alone in matters of dating! She sighs, as if explaining to a small child. "I thought you were fine with the abnormal. You even referred to me as 'dreamy arms'. Then I find out that you fantasise about the most conventional beauty I have ever met here. She even has big blue eyes.". She's tried to use those eyes on Spiral even, to little effect.

"So, I am disappointed. I expected something else. That's all. You can go date Harley if you want. She has the correct number of arms.".

Wade Wilson has posed:
"But that's not it, it's not about that. You realize that you're just as hot as her, right??? Plus you have six arms??? That's one step away from six boobs!!!" Wade picks up a plate of Gushers and starts tossing them into his mouth. "My connection with Harley was about how she thinks all the cool things I do are impressive, and also about how she does the same kinds of cool things I do. Like toss a grenade into a toilet, or crush my nuts repeatedly, which I absoutely //hate// but I have to admit that it's very cool."

"With you, I like how your arms are so mesmerizing, and you're always doing a little dance, and I get the feeling that you vaguely want to decapitate someone at all times. I relate to that! But..." He tosses a Gusher to her, as she seems like someone who's never eaten a Gusher. "Trying to date you seemed as insane as trying to date Wonder Woman. I didn't think you'd be interested in watching King of Queens, eating frozen burritos, or going to Hot Topic to see what kinds of things they're putting your face on. So I focused on Harley, even though she doesn't like ugly guys. It's not your arms at all! Any guy would be crazy not to want a sex-armed woman."

"Yes, I know what I said."

Spiral has posed:
"I like all those tihngs as well. That's star power material there. Ratings gold. Action movies are coming back, you know... you could help conquer the hearts and minds of Mojoworld with that. Enough to annoy my enslaver at least, and that's one of the things I live for these days, small acts of rebellion.". She thinks back to last week. "If I dented those ratings for a moment then last week was worth being chewed out by Waller.". She catches the Gusher almost automatically, but it hangs there in one metal hand, uneaten.

"You have devastatingly mundane wishes. And...". Ach, the arms again. She wraps them about herself, going up on one foot for a moment, and is definitely thinking about decapitating someone right now. "See? Like a trophy. Look how many arms my creature has!". GRAAHH!

Wade Wilson has posed:
Wade suddenly laughs, standing up to balance on one leg himself as he lifts two mozarella sticks, trying to mirror her a bit. "It's true, I should stop objectifying you! You know, I've been reading a lot of Twitter lately, and they call it... something! But, I realize that I should compliment your //mind//, not just your arms!"

He does a flip over the table, to stand directly in front of her. "Tell me all the ways that you want me to kill your employer, I want to //know// your beautiful mind!"

Spiral has posed:
Hmm. Spiral tilts her head, and ponders that one for a moment. Very well...

"I have a few projects of mine on the go at the moment.". She dance steps closer to Wade, so she can adopt a more conspiratorial tone. "Regarding my old employer, unfortunately you have to beat him at his own game. Especially as I cannot stand directly against him. He is obsessed with movies and ratings, if I can make better ones, with my grinning face to introduce them, then it insults him. I can imagine him going insane with anger. One day he'll probably come and collect me and take me back as his slave if only to stop me, but that shows I've won!".

She takes in a breath. "So, I did a prison escape movie here last week - I think it was ratings gold myself. Obviously I can't check as I've been banished from Mojoworld, but I think it hit the right target audiences. I have another one in progress, with Ted Kord, a hero fallen on hard times. Redemption arcs are popular! I will do something with him to ... encourage his heroic nature, soon enough. Maybe unleash more extradimensional horrors upon him to overcome. Or not, there are plenty of other aspiring stars out there. I know where he lives.". That sounds a bit ominous, the way she says it.

"When not working to these greater goals, I enjoy giving people what they want in my Body Shoppe. It's amusing to see how little humans value their humanity. You must know that, Wade, you've lost your face at least. I especially love it when New York gangsters come to me looking to be bulletproof.". Spiral smirks at that. "The results are... spectacular. And then sometimes they come grovelling back to me to want their wishes undone.".

Wade Wilson has posed:
"I'll just go and murder him if he kidnaps you, problem solved! But we could definitely work on a show." Wade reaches to grab two trays, then slaps them together and yells, "Action!" Then he immediately starts ranting. "It'll be a hero's journey, Deadpool, the depressed ex-Canadian special forces guy who became ugly to cure his cancer! He wants to show the world, but most importantly himself, the what inner beauty truly means, and train himself to become desired by all!"

Then, raising one foot to keep it elevated on the seat of the table, he motions to Spiral. "So we have a montage, where I start changing my fashion around, and get a nice car, and I rise up in the mercenary ranks, living the high life and having ninja battles as my enemies come back to defeat me! And then I get the girl, even though no girl seems to want me!"

Harley Quinn has posed:
It's not as if Harley is a regular out in Belle Reve. For good reason! Is it because of the gumbo? Or maybe because a prison Louisiana just wouldn't do for the whole LIFE she has going out in NeW York. And some people just don't have the best power ever of teleportation. *insert grumpy face emoji*

Yet a mission has been done recently, and so she has been resting and recovering from her wounds for a little, which consists of rolling down Belle Reve corridors in a pair of roller blades. She is heard starting to roll closer and closer to the cantina, along with she humming along with 'Where is my Mind' quietly. She appears in all her splendor by the door, grinning wickedly.

"A little bihdie tol' me ya were in heah today." big blue eyes flashing and she sliding into the room.

"I sweah I could heah Wallah screamin' the walls out last night. No idea someone could get so loud. And heah I was thinkin' we had been successful on our mission!"

Spiral has posed:
Spiral is already dancing a little, so she doesn't have to dance much more to sweep a hand over Wade, and cast the illusion of a guy with a huge blonde 80s mullet, a handsome face, and black leather biker gear on over him. "I may not care, but audiences have their limit unfortunately, Wade. You can fish for sympathy though, if you'd rather go that route. In fact I think that might work very well.".

She waves a hand up and down for a moment. "It's not all about the Bloat. I didn't mention my friend Elizabeth either - not a current project, more past work, and a source of continuous amusement. See, long ago someone wanted to collect a body able to hold great psychic power...". She trails off as as the blonde haired and blue eyed one appears.

"Hello Harley." she says, sounding even less friendlier than usual. "We did everything asked of us.". More Cole, really.

Wade Wilson has posed:
"I saw the cosmos and the things that lurk both within and without the universe at the corner of our minds, scratching at the surface of human comprehension." Wade's eyes suddenly widen as he makes rather dramatic poses in his new illusory form, immediately reaching over to grab a handful of Pizza Rolls. "Pizza Rolls!"

But then he looks between Harley and Spiral while munching on Pizza Rolls. "Double the romantic rejection, double the fun!"

Harley Quinn has posed:
"All I remembah is the slime, reminded me o' mud battlin'. They can be fun ta do, and it's always rainin' out in Gotham so..., ya can imagine how that goes. It tried ta get to me too, but think theah's only space foh one kinda crazy in heah." Harley looks between the two of them with a quirked brow, the grumpiness detected on Spiral only making her smile wider. "What's gettin' yoh down today, Spiral? Is this ...." and she looks at Wade's makeover with that illusion, eyebrow shooting up. "... strappin young man botherin' ya?!" She does a small spin in place as she approaches. "He sounds like the Pool but doesn't look like 'im. Think I saw him in Grease."

"Romantic rejection? Heh?" She reaches to take a pizza roll. Without asking too! Rude.

Spiral has posed:
Spiral mehs, and dismisses the illusion with the wave of another hand. "It's Wade." she says grumpily. Also one of the tables looks like it has a picnic laid out on it, complete with cloth and lots of finger food. Not exactly the usual prison fare.

"Nothing, really. Just talking to Wade... and attempting to straighten out some twisted understandings.". Her hands spiral around a bit reflexively. "I'm more at twisting things than straightening them out, though.".

Wade Wilson has posed:
"Spiral is afraid of the never ending cycle of heartbreak that comes with relationships, and you keep crushing my nuts which I think is symbolic of your lack of interest." Wade explains as he looks from Harley's Pizza Roll, to Spiral, perhaps expecting this Pizza Roll to cause some sort of fight.

When he doesn't, he continues eating. "So many likeminds, but in the end, Deadpool is a loner, a rebel without a cause." He puts a cigarette in his mouth as he keeps his foot on the bench, staring off in the the distance heroically.

Though he doesn't light it.

Harley Quinn has posed:
"Twisted understandings." Harley echoes, munching on the pizza roll in a thoughtful manner, "What's the fun in untwisting when theah's so much more that can be accomplished with twistin' togetha?" she muses, turning and rolling on her blades to reach the table and rest her behind against it.

With the illusion being dismissed she grins at Wade, replying. "It only happened twice, and both foh good causes! I had ta save you from the mind-controllin' monstah!" it's a good reason! "And did ya know some people got that kink? So I saw these videos ...." Though the talk about Spiral and heartbreaks turns her away from that subject, making her look towards the other woman.

"Spiral ain't the type ta be scared of anythin'" Is what she concludes, shaking her head. "Not relationships at least." blue eyes watching the six-armed wonder for a few moments.

Spiral has posed:
Spiral goes pretty quiet when Harley suddenly looks at her, and raises the brow of one white eye. Four arms fold over herself, while one of the others points accusingly at Harley.

"Why is it I can sense psychologist magic being cast about now. Stop it. There isn't even a couch around here.". She's standing up, but a hand reaches down to pinch a mozzarella stick. She likes those, it seems.

"And are you a loner, Wade? Given what you did here today I don't think so.". And another hand sweeps over the prepared foods.

Wade Wilson has posed:
"Hey, soul crushing loneliness is still being a loner!" Wade insists, then points at Harley. "She's a psychologist, she can confirm that my coping mechanisms are entirely healthy!"

"It's not like I do things for attention just so that people will love me." he says with two pretzel sticks sticking out of his nose.

But now he addresses Harley properly. "Well, the nut crushing may not have been a rejection... but if you ever see my face, you'll recoil in horror, and say, 'stand back, foul beast!'"

Harley Quinn has posed:
"I don't need a foci ta cast my magic." Foci! Like magical couches! After Harley was at one of those wild parties chez Strange she is now super knowledgeable about magical lingo. Because she is a sorceress. "Though a couch would be great foh a nap afteh I get through these rolls and the rest o' the food." she continues on picking stuff from here and there, apparently respecting Spiral's request for her to stop psycho-analyzing her. "Not gonna do anythin' ya don't want me to, Spiral."

She twists her attention over to Wade. A nod is given about those coping mechanisms. "I mean, seen worse. O' course that the usual ones like depression oh suicide don't woik foh ya so...." she considers. ".. that was a good escape that ya found out. But ..."

There's a pause as Wade goes on about his face being the horribiliest thing ever. "Well, in the immortal woahds of Mel C, ya got love yohself first, Wade!"

Spiral has posed:
"On our next trip to Tahiti, I shall bring you, Wade." Spiral decides. "It will be less effort than this feast you made anyway. We are a team after all... even if our base is a prison.". She looks around the place, at all the guards avoiding the three superpowered lunatics with their picnic, and puts the two top hands behind her head, while a middle one continues to graze across the food. "Maybe we can charge the margaritas to Waller for team building expenses.".

"Wade is so melodramatic about how ugly he is. At least his eyes seem human. And his arms are normal.".

Wade Wilson has posed:
"Love myself..." Wade then holds up a finger, suddenly getting an idea. "That's it!" Pointing at Harley. "You'll teach me to love myself!" Then, he points at Spiral, "And you'll film it for ratings!"

"My arms aren't normal at all!" He raises his sleeve, showing off that his arm is just as damaged as his face.

Harley Quinn has posed:
"Yeeees, he needs ta come with us. I will even make ya a necklace the same way I did foh Spiral. I am suwah she still has it back at her not-so-secret laeh." Not that Harley goes about divulging where it is. Even she doesn't go so far! "And I am suwah Wallah will love some team buildin' exercise. She is a softie, that one." maybe she is talking about a different Waller!

The talk about loving himself, then showing off his raisin-looking arm makes Harley peer at Wade, "We will go through a montage in which ya hit rock bottom, and then we save ya from yohself, get some romantic songs in, some drama in the midst. Oscah worthy!" she concludes but then makes a face.

"Bein' normal ain't as glamorous as ya may think, Poolie."

Spiral has posed:
Spiral sighs, and walks over to Wade, so she can put her metal arm against his rolled up sleeve. "Human." she says, tapping his arm with her OTHER metal hand. "Not human." and she taps her metal arm with a lil *tink* sound of metal on metal. When it comes to the Outcast Olympics, Spiral thinks she's practically lapping Deadpool.

"Harley needs to use her psychologist spells on you more than I I think, Wade. You're still very human to me.". Aww.

Wade Wilson has posed:
"I guess we're //all// human, in the end!" Wade opens his arms wide, looking between both Harley and Spiral. "Bring it in. We'll all heal each other and no one can stop us or tell us we're insane!" he says with a dagger still sticking out of his hand from earlier.

"To Tahiti!" he toasts, a hug toast, if that's a thing.

Harley Quinn has posed:
Awwww, what a better way to end the sappy reunion of the lunatics at Belle Reve. A reunion that Waller will undoubtedly be looking in on! Cameras everywhere! She is such a voyeur...

But Harley detaches herself from the table, rolling along to join with the others in the group hug, tossing herself in at high speed after getting a rolling start for speed.

"Wooo! Team bondin' spirit! To Tahiti, it's a magical place!" She exclaims.

Wade doesn't get hit in the nuts for the first time and Spiral gets to experience some real, human hugging!