5889/-You're- an off-balanced load!

-You're- an off-balanced load!
Date of Scene:	08 April 2021
Location:	The Laundry room of Leslie and Roxanne's apartment building
Synopsis:	Leslie and Roxy do the laundry. And discuss the finer points of pop culture and whether being a diner carhop is more or less prestigious than working at a taco stand. But they don't eat the Tide Pods!
Cast of Characters:	Leslie Willis, Roxanne Spaulding

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Leslie Willis has posed:
Leslie huffs and puffs, her arms practically quaking as she carries the hamper of her clothes down the stairs, carefully balancing the overflowing tower of fabric, glowering at the cherry on top. Well, it's not a cherry, it's a garish, ill-fitting carhop dress from her job.

"I mean, I don't see why I have to wash this! It's like a work thing! The diner oughta have a washing machine! Like what am I gonna have to start cooking the meatloafs? Who even eats meatloaf? Like, it's the worst food name, it's a loaf of meat! And oh my god the milkshake machine breaks all the time and once it totally exploded in my face!" She huffs and puffs and manhandles her laundry towards the washing machine.

"Roxaaaaaaane! Get your laundry over here! I don't wanna have to do the trick after it's already run once! It'll get all watery and stuff! You know I don't do water good! I mean, like, you know, in a specific context!"

She grumbles and groans and begins dumping armloads of clothing into the washing machine muttering, "Stupid dress code. Dumb company policy. I can just make my own clothes, but nooooo, 'Black isn't an approved company colour' and 'Isn't that a little tight and revealing'? They said HR wouldn't allow it!!"

Roxanne Spaulding has posed:
"Amped up like a paler -Storm- and you can't get your laundry down the stairs?" Roxanne follows Leslie down the stairs while carrying a bundle of joy of her very own - a hamper filled to the brim (and beyond!) with a mountain of clothes. Unlike the electro-jockey, Roxanne's dirty pile is a mixture of stolen boyfriend shirts, flannels, jeans, and clubbin' outfits the size of a gum wrapper - 'purple' and 'tight' seems to be a common theme.

THE OUTFIT: It's laundry day. She's wearing a pair of white yoga pants that have been worn out of fit; they hang low enough on her hips to make apparent a pair of kitty-paw boyshorts in lavender and violet. Up top is a t-shirt that simply reads 'PIZZA HUT: BOOK IT!', tight enough to belong to a 7 year old Roxanne. She's tied a handkerchief around her head 'cuz it's cute.

Anyway, she's carrying that laundry hamper like it weighs nothing at all, and the faint purplish glow around its base indicates that this is *probably* the *truth*.

"You really need to invest in some -gravity crap-. Makes lugging clothes around easier than -Paris Hilton-." Roxy sets her hamper on the ground next to Leslie's, soundlessly, and bends over at an angle that's almost certainly going to be censored in post. Armloads of 'tight' and 'purple' follow Leslie's clothes into the hopper, while Roxy frowns at the other girl's next words.

"Is that your dumb electricity suit?? It totally screams 'evil asshole', Leslie! You'd like SCARE KIDS and stuff. Or get arrested for public indecency. That thing's a nip slip waiting to happen." She finishes filling the machine up with its first load...

Leslie Willis has posed:
"OMG shut up! I told you! I'm not like Storm! She can do rain and snow and stuff! I don't -DO THE WEATHER ROXY!!- Just because you can float around and stuff doesn't mean I call you like... you know, girl Magneto! I mean yeah there's that green haired one, but there's no way she's a natural."

She continues to unload her own laundry, it's almost all black fabric, though there's a few pairs of jeans for when she's mixing things up.

"Oh my god shut up! It holds on with -static electricity- you dumb gravity nerd! It doesn't slip! It's hella hot! I get all sorts of likes on my videos! Kids aren't scared of me they think I'm a badass!"

She huffs and storms over to the soap dispenser on the wall, giving it a good sharp pound on the side... and a jolt of electricity that sends Tide pods tumbling out, frantically working to pull the lower hem of her tanktop out to catch some of the avalanche, "Hey! Are you hungry?"

The question probably hangs a good second and a half too long before she continues, "We could totally get tacos later." And then she's hauling the captured pods over... that's right kids, Leslie doesn't eat Tide pods, because they're blue and everyone knows raspberry is the inferior candy flavour. Cherry or bust.

Roxanne Spaulding has posed:
"Girl Magneto!? Magneto's a GROSS OLD DUDE, Leslie! Even if I WAS Girl Magneto, I'd have to be like a BILLION YEARS OLD." Roxanne slumps against an unused washing machine and grumps while Leslie expounds on her powers, the suit, and her badassitude. Her face morphs from a petite, angry cloud into a petite, grumpy haze. A hop up sends Roxanne higher than it should; featherlike, she wafts down onto the corner of the washing machine she'd been leaning against. The girl leans forward, piles her hands between her spread thighs.

"Yeah, I guess you're not as freaky as, like. Poison Ivy. Or what's her name. The clown. The -girl- clown." Roxy's face falls when Leslie juxtaposes food and Tide Pods - in the name of *practice* Rox floats a few up into the air before pulling them into the opened washer. How many is a few? Roxanne doesn't know. Like, five? Six? It's important for clothes to get clean.

"Tacos sound pretty good~ You want to go to that place down the street? That guy at the counter is super into you. Since we're doing laundry you could wear that top that makes your boobs look all *POW*." Roxanne hops off of her seat and makes her way towards Leslie to help pick up the Tide Pods that have scattered -everywhere-.

"If you borrow my push-up your tits'll like be up to your chin, that'd be pretty funny." Roxanne has no idea where the hell she's going to put these Tide Pods. Delicious Tide Pods. They'll probably go into the huge bucket of Tide Pods the pair keep by the door. For laundry day.

They've never once remembered it.

Leslie Willis has posed:
Leslie tilts her head thoughtfully, "I dunno, Poison Ivy seems neat. She's like... principled, y'know? And she doesn't let those corporate CEO douches push her around. They're all 'Rawwwr, we're gonna cut down rainforests' and she's all like..." She smacks her fist into her palm, "She's like 'Bam! Tree through the heart!' or whatever. And clowngirl's not bad! I mean, she looks like she's having fun when they're like, takin' down chemical companies or robbing diamond exchanges. They're cool. They're pals! Gals bein' pals is cool!"

Leslie recoils as she flails her hands in wild denial, "Aaaauh! No! Getoffa the machine! I gotta kickstart it! But no way! I'm not going out with some taco guy! He works at some deadend fast food place! I'm above that!" She turns to look at her hamper, "Oh, good, my uniform's already in. I gotta work a double shift Saturday, we're having some kinda big challenge for the big milkshake, y'know?"

She sighs and shakes her head, "But c'mon, clown gal's probably totally cool. Like, I saw her totally hit this dude with that bat once, girl's got like, -core- strength. I mean, that's probably just makeup. She's probably not really a clown. Like, on the inside? And hey! Not all of us are like... -gravity- defying! I'm aerodynamic! 'cause of my powers!"

Yep, that's Leslie, aerodynamic for her powers. Her powers of not having the power of flight.

Roxanne Spaulding has posed:
"Principled? She's a real angry gardener, I figure. Takes the whole eco-warrior thing to a freaky-chicky level. I feel like she gives this murdery vibe?? I dunno. I saw her looking at the camera on TV once and it wasn't, like..." Roxy shivers. "Uh. Wasn't all that human, I guess." Roxanne chews at her cheek while Leslie mentions stealing diamonds - side-eye there - and makes a puffy face when 'gals bein' pals' comes up. God, she needs a smoke.

"What about a roller-derby burger-factory isn't 'dead-end food joint', Leslie?? You gotta open your eyes or you're not gonna get any of that sweet *ACTION*, girl. Maybe -he's- got super powers, too? Like, I bet he could turn your thighs to jello if he..." Roxanne trails off just as the censors begin stirring. She makes a point of shutting the washing machine's door while Leslie works on up to electro-shocking the thing into action.

"I thought the clown getup WASN'T makeup? Like there's this whole story about a chemical vat and stuff. Or maybe it was a weird pill he took. Or, like..." Lavender eyes pop wide open. Roxanne settles her rear against the washing machine and takes a -second-. Oh -no-.

"Oh no, what if it was like, experimental makeup? I wear makeup sometimes! I'm way too cute to go around lookin' like a clown on the inside AND the outside."

Leslie Willis has posed:
Leslie rubs her hands together, cracks her knuckles, her hair stands up a little as she works up her mojo, and then smacks the top of the machine, arcs of electricity streaming out into the coin slot, the machine buzzing to life with wild, ear-splitting grinds of protest, practically jumping off the floor. "Heyyyyyo!!"

Leslie rolls her eyes and huffs, "Oh my god, c'mon, she's not that inhuman! And hey! It's a -diner-, that's like... classic! It's like... Americana or whatever that is! It's like a heritage thing! Remember the Al & Moe's or whatever the first burger place was!"

Leslie's head shakes, "And come on, weird pills are totally just a lie by big pharma. They take credit for weird superheroes to inflate their stocks!" She shrugs her shoulders, "It's probably like a monster thing? Like those big turtles that come up through people's toilets or whatever? You know, the ones that kidnap teenagers?" She shakes her head, "She's probably like, just a wereclown or something. But she totally lives in Gotham, she's not gonna come here just to bite you."

Roxanne Spaulding has posed:
"Is that why the uniforms look so old and don't fit that good? I mean, you make it look amazing - we've been over it for sure - but BLAH. Americana's gotta get rid of the checkerboard pattern. There's retro and then there's total gaghouse." Roxy shifts when the machine starts - yep, it's definitely on - and twists to fix wide eyes on Leslie when the other girl gets dangerously close to a conspiracy rant.

"Plenty of heroes got their powers from pills! I just can't think of any right now." She reaches up to tuck a strand of hair back into her bandana, and elects to get away from the washing machine when it begins making noises and shuddering as though it -contained some kind of beast-. It's old. The apartment complex is crappy. These things happen.

"Leslie, c'moooon. Big turtles haven't done anything with teens in like DECADES. You sure you didn't spend too much time with the hairdryer this morning? You're all spooked out, girl. Let's just go get tacos or something. Figure out if that boy's worth your time, or if I get to swoop in and claim that piece of meat for Roxy Nation?" Eyebrows waggle.

"'Sides, this laundry room smells like mildew and old clothes."

Leslie Willis has posed:
Leslie whines and balls her fists at her sides, "I told you! My hips are like... -hippy-! Their stupid one-size-fits-all stuff is a -lie-! It's a lie Roxy! One size doesn't fit all!!"

She huffs as she hops up onto the corner of the washing machine, her weight stopping it from jittering -quite- so much, although her voice also takes on a bit of a doppler effect from the motion "A-a-annn-d-d-d everyone knowwws.... that' superpowers aren't pills! You gotta like... jump in a science machine! Or do a witch thing! Or like... I dunno, it's probably a syringe! Or those weird energy drinks from the bodega where they don't have any english on them? I bet those totally sometimes have supergunk in them!"

Roxanne Spaulding has posed:
"Oh my GAWD I could totally be a sexy witch for Halloween. Put on a big hat and a black dress and I'd look SO - FLY." Roxanne lets herself imagine THAT for a little while, eyes closed while she sinks back in a way that *should* have her tumbling onto her ass - but it doesn't. Gravity girls. She's pulled out of her reverie only when Leslie hops onto the washing machine on the wrong side.

*WHUNKA WHUNKA WHUNKA* it goes, dangerously close to toppling over. Lavender eyes pop open and Roxanne's screaming.

"LESLIE NO YOU'RE GONNA-" WHUNKA WHUNKA "-EPTAR THONGS AND MY-" WHUNKA WHUNKA while Roxanne float-hops onto the other side of the washing machine right before it topples--! "-cute socks are in there! Oh Em Gee." She slumps forward, frowning in intense thought. This is pretty standard for this stupid washing machine, honestly.

"How did you get your powers, anyway? Electro-kombucha? Is that even a real thing?"

Leslie Willis has posed:
Leslie stares, "OMG Isn't Kombucha that alcohol tea? No way! I wasn't legal drinking age! ...Wait, what's the drinking age again?"

She presses down on the washing machine, hands sort of gripping the sides on either side of her, riding it like a bucking bronco, "H..heeeey... uhhh... y'know, this is like... dangerous! I mean 'cause like my powers? 'cause it uses water?"

Leslie leaps off the washing machine with a gasping breath, head shaking wildly, "I just climbed up a cell tower! 'cause like, cell towers are a scam? I'm pretty sure they used weather control to hit me with lightning, but I'm too cool to die, so like... superpowers. Whabam!"

Roxanne Spaulding has posed:
"C'mon, girl. Like you didn't try robbing a bank a few months ago." Roxanne fixes Leslie with a flat look. "You're all Bonnie and no Clyde, who's gonna let some dumb law about being 21 get in the way of hipster brews?" Roxanne isn't having quite as hard a time as Leslie is, but let's be real - Leslie totally weighs more than Roxy. And when the electro-gal hops off?

"Oh- jee- ah- hEY THIS IS HARDER THAN I THOUGHT--" Roxanne is not good at riding a bucking bronco and practically falls off of the thing's edge; she winds up in a desperate grab for the edge and sort of sprawls over it for a minute. It's a dramatic display of the flexibility of that shirt's craftsmanship.

"Cell towers aren't-- a-- scam!! They totally-- I mean-- my connection-- bites..." Okay. Settle down, girl. You're not about to die. Roxy's eyes close for a second, and the machine abruptly stops bucking. Mostly because it's surrounded by that effervescent gravity-power junk.

"So you got struck by lightning and you became... lightning? That's totally wild. You sure you aren't Storm?" Roxy's out of breath. Give her a second.

Leslie Willis has posed:
Leslie whines out and huffs, "I told you like -two- minutes ago, Storm can handle water! I'm so not her! I'm more like uhhh... ohhh.. uhhh..." She frowns, scowls, crosses her arms. "I'm like -me-! I'm totally unique!"

She stares for a long moment as the washing machine calms down, "Oh my god you used your damn floaty thing on the washing machine! ...And your clothes! OMG YOU COULD HAVE FLOATIED ALL OUR CLOTHES DOWN HERE!!"

Leslie whines and stomps her foot, "I didn't rob a bank! I tried to turn the quarters into bitcoins!! I'm telling you it's gonna work! Knockout said it wouldn't, but like, she's an -alien-, she doesn't understand the finer points of US Economic policy -or- Cryptocurrency!"

Roxanne Spaulding has posed:
Roxanne shifts to a princessly sitting position on top of the now-subdued washer, and crosses her legs, sets her hands by her hips to really -seal the deal-. Chin lifted, she deigns to hear out Leslie's explanation of the differences between her and Ororo. Pink bangs do a stellar job at framing all of that insouciance, natch. Until Leslie mentions gravity powers and floaties and oh my god the clothes you're so right

"OMG the clothes you're so right," she echoes, mutely. Even brings a hand up to cover that petite little mouth, little more than bright, wide-open eyes visible. Of course, the topic changes before Roxanne can really internalize that she did absolutely mess this up - she's ratchecting onto Bitcoin soon enough.

"Hahahahahaah whaaaat? No WAY. Like, Bitcoins come from computers! Not BANKS. My ex Darin had a farm or something? You have to get a whole bunch of graphics cards or something. I have no idea. They're not at BANKS though." Roxanne slides off of the laundry machine, and pulls her phone out of a pocket.

This cycle is gonna take like, forty minutes. Ugh.

Leslie Willis has posed:
Leslie rolls her eyes, "OMG shut up, Darin was a doofus. He had a shirt with one of those stupid nerd dice on it. Because he was a nerd! You don't need a farm for bitcoin! That's doge coin! You need it for the little dogs! And I'm not doing that 'cause like, dogs shed, and static electricity would be bad!"

She shakes her head and slumps against the dryer, muttering, "PFfff, graphics cards for money... girl doesn't even know she's dating a -dweeb-..."

Leslie trails off sulkily... until blue eyes suddenly shoot up to stare at Roxy. And dart back down. And then back up to stare more. This cycle repeats several times, "OH MY GOD! YOU OWN ELF EARS!! YOU TOTALLY DO!!!"

Roxanne Spaulding has posed:
"What! He was a complete doofus! Don't say it like you're some kind of BLUE GENIUS, LESLIE! He kept playing World of Wakanda instead of ME. Me!!" She grimaces at her phone like it's got some sort of answer for her. It does not. Elf ears, though.

That inspires a flash of lavender angled Leslie's way.

"Do you -not-? Cosplay is a huge thing for lots of dudes. And it's kinda fun? I got this hawt Tinkerbelle outfit I wear sometimes..." She thinks on the outfit for a second. It's not ev- hey! No!

"What's wrong with elf ears anyway??! Tinkerbelle isn't NEAR as bad as your static-cling sex sleeve thing! It's *DISNEY*! They're makin' movies for kids and stuff."

Leslie Willis has posed:
Leslie rolls her eyes, "I'm totally smart enough to not sit through like... 85 hours of Lords of the Rings! There's not even any shirtless scenes!!"

Leslie's eyes widen and she -gaaaaasps-, "OH MY GOD! YOU KNOW I HAVE A THING ABOUT TINKERBELLE! I TOLD YOU I WANTED A TINKERBELLE CAKE FOR MY TENTH BIRTHDAY AND MY PARENTS GOT ME LION KING!!" She spins about and stomps out the laundry room, giving the ol' over the back of the head double deuce as she -boots- the door open!

"YOUR FACE IS FOR KIDS ROXY!! I'D SAY I HOPE YOUR THONGS SHRINK.... BUT HOW WOULD WE EVER KNOW?!?!"
She'll probably be back to zap the dryer to life when the washing machine is done.