16499/Two Girls, One Deadpool

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Two Girls, One Deadpool
Date of Scene: 06 December 2023
Location: Sister Margaret's School for Wayward Girls
Synopsis: Inez, Monet, and Wade celebrate big scores. Inez serves Wade with divorce papers after finding out he got a possible 3 million windfall. Monet decides to help and watch the world burn.
Cast of Characters: Wade Wilson, Inez Temple, Monet St. Croix




Wade Wilson has posed:
    Too many times has it come down to this.
    Too many times were there challenges set before the man who now stood on the precipice of a record breaking moment. And now, it was all focused upon this moment. These three inches of distance, such a small limit. Yet miles between a championship. Destiny. Immortality...
    Would he be able to overcome the troubles he had since birth? Would he be able to handle the horrible challenges that beset upon him from his excessive number of chromosomes... would he be...
    "Goddamit, shut the fuck up, Wade!" Weasel snapped as he crouched beside the table, one hand upon the folded paper football pressing it down as he held a fingertip back ready to flick it through the 'uprights' of Wade's two index fingers.
    "Hard enough to play this game without your running commentary. You aren't fucking John Madden, you aren't even that... shit... that comedian idiot they tried to replace him with."
    "Dennis Miller. If you can't handle the heat, Weas, might as well give it up." Slowly Weasel drew his finger back as Wade talked. "If you can't focus, if you can't NOONAN!"
    And as Weasel tried to flick the football through the uprights, Wade's shout there in the depths of Sister Margaret's was loud enough... that it went wide right.
    "Niiiiice! Way to choke, buddy!" Wade leapt up onto the chair and pointed at Weasel, "Thirty five bucks, pay up."
    "Aren't you a fucking millionaire now?"
    "Soon, man. Big pay day, she's a coming."

Inez Temple has posed:
Yeah, Wade. We're all real sure.

But know who is coming? Crazy ol' Inez, the door banging open with her usual enthusiasm as she comes striding in with the spurs of her boots clicking against the floor. She's in her usual, which means not very much: An positively tiny little mini-skirt with a snug Jack Daniels tee and a gigantic fur coat to compliment her Stetson and boots.

When she spots Wade, she grins broadly.

"Wade! There y' are y' dipshit!" She scowls, storming on over towards him. "You terrorizin' t' poor man while he's a-workin'?"

And speaking of working... "Bottle please, Weasel?" She asks with a wide grin, "Good shit, too. Got paaaaaiiiid!" And she lifts one fist into the air, pumping it in victory.

Monet St. Croix has posed:
Why is she here? Oh, this thing called 'networking'. Monet St. Croix is trying to spread her awareness a bit further beyond her own corner of the world. This is just as foreign to her as any other thing out in the cosmos. Monet St. Croix looks over at Deadpool with wariness, not attempting to translate what to her is babble, nor trying to figure out the procession of logic to it. By the wariness in her step Wade is the lion that one does not remotely want to get caught up over in the claws of. She doesn't bother to ask if he's all right - she has a sense that this is normal for him.
    She makes a sense to try and look a bit less flustered, a bit less 'deer in the headlights' as someone from the redneck portion of the country would go.. And moves to try and not look like she's way out of her element here while trying to slide towards a seat. At best if she ever needed mercenaries she could get a discount. not eeryone could afford Deathstroke.

Wade Wilson has posed:
    "Heya Inez," Wade's voice lifts as he remains standing on the seat of the chair, while Weasel's voice is heard too, but with _much_ less enthusiasm.
    "Hey Inez," As he mopes on his way back over toward the front of the house, lifting the countertop rise and ducking underneath to get behind the bar. He points at the Western gal and says as he holds up one bottle then another,"J.D. or is this a night for the captain?"
    Wade, for his part, is counting out his 35 big ones then hops down off the seat. "What's the cause for celebration chuckleduck? Boss Hawg tried to run another scheme past your cousins and your unca Jessie helped save the day?"
    This time of night there are only a handful of people in Sister Margaret's, and two of them are unconscious. Perhaps from drink, perhaps from excessive celebration. Monet's presence was noted, of course, though she had that vibe of a... gifted observer. Though none of the locals had made a run at her yet.

Inez Temple has posed:
"Cap'n!" Inez says cheerfully, with a big grin, "Me an' some dude with alien worms and t' sugars took outta Pedo-bear." She explains to Wade, rubbing her hands together. "Sent y' t' photo. Well, when t' client heard dude got et, he paid extra!"

There's a certain infectiousness to her good cheer, every bit as much as bit as her foul. And she grabs Wade by the place his ears should be and delivers a big smooch right on his masked lips! "Rent fer t' next six months!" She laughs, and then sits down just in time to spot Monet. Her brow furrows slightly. "Well. 'Lo there. Care for shots or do y' prefer y' alcohol anally? Heard coffee enemas are all t' rage, so why not booze?" And she has such a cheerful smile while saying it to the other woman!

Monet St. Croix has posed:
Monet St. Croix would glance over at Wade, "Mister Wilson, Inez." She would go to slide on down. "So where exactly are you residing in?" If only so she could know where to avoid - or make a killing on buying the lots up when property values went to drop hard. "And I suppose if the two of you don't mind? I can carry the first round." It was polite after all. And she had spending money and this was considered a business expense. Socializing could be justified as a tax writeoff given it was in a line of work.

"You seem to be quite happy. Am I allowed to inquire as to what the job was that had so excellent a payoff or is that sort of thing considered classified?"

Wade Wilson has posed:
    "Moany moany." Wade offers in greeting toward Monet while Weas tends to the bar.
    "The Good Captain it is," Weasel says as he grabs a set of glasses and puts them down on the bartop with a faint clink, the bottle gurgles a bit as he tilts it on its side letting the caramel liquor fill each glass.
    Though as that's happening Wade's in mid wallet replacement when abruptly he is _seized_ and brought into lip to lip contact with the dastrdly Outlaw! Though when she lets him free he manages to swoon just a bit, just a touch of a sway back and forth. "Dang girl, shoulda given me a heads up, I woulda gone all against the comic code for that." He sidles up to the bar and hops onto a stool, his mask twisting up a little as he bites his lower lip and then somehow crinkles his nose at Weasel who snorts and says...
    "Sounds like everyone's getting their payday but me, fuck's sake. Wade here just got a what was it?"
    Only for in that moment Wade is shaking his head quickly, waving his hands, trying to dissuade that conversational path that Weasel's taking. But it is not enough to dissuade him likely before Inez recognizes it for what it is. "A smol bit of windfall. Barely anything, really."
    Then keying off of Monet's words he points at her, "Hey yeah, what Monet's saying. Cool you did a thing? Nice. Nice." Wade gives a thumbs up.

Inez Temple has posed:
Inez Temple says, "Tracked down some creep inna bear suit that was touchin' kids." Inez tells Monet, with a broad grin. "M' intern et him like you do caviar. Just dislocated his jaw an'.." She snaps her mouth clothes. Snap!

But then she turns to Wade, eyes narrowing slightly. "Cut t' crap, Wade, y' ain't cute 'nuff fer t' wide-eyed innocent." She tells him, raising one hand in a claw like gesture with a threat of the ultimate indignity: texas titty twister. "Y' get a score? Biggun?"

And with the other, she knocks back the liquor, nodding in approval. "Yesss... That's t' shit, Weasel, hon." Pointedly she doesn't tell Monet where her trailer is parked. Let her try and get into the *very* strange place that's Outlaw's brain to see if she's feeling brave."

Monet St. Croix has posed:
Monet St. Croix would glance at Inez, "That sounds highly.. Highly specific an incident for something which paid so well." It's also highly suspicious in which case she's probably better off not knowing the details for her own sanity and mental well being. She would glance over at Weasel at Inez's taunting, and then back over at the blonde.

"I believe that he would enjoy it very much. I don't have to read his mind to grasp that." SHe would attempt this thing called 'deadpan' over. As Wade would go on about 'payday'..

"Just be born independently wealthy. It resolves all these issues effortlessly. The Waynes, the Rothschilds, the Starks.."

Wade Wilson has posed:
    "Hey, you have no idea what I enjoy, girly girl." Wade puts Monet on notice as he slooouches to the side, sprawling partially across the bar.
    Weasel joins Inez in the drinking as he knocks back a glass of his own shivering a bit from the rapid consumption of... 'decent' quality alcohol. Though high quality for Sister Margaret's. Wade, however, doesn't join in as he's more just leaning sideways against the bar.
    "It's a little thing, we had some windfall. Did this dealio up toward Metropolis. Sold one of Thor's old hats that we stole to this collector dude."
    A quick look is given toward Weasel, only for Wade to realize that Weasel has his patented shit-eating grin in place which causes Wade to crinkle that nose behind the mask again as he says, "Probably not even gonna get to keep it cuz of the show-runner being all controlly controllerson. But if we do, then split eight ways it's something like..."
    Wade tilts his head left, then right, then left again. He spreads his hands and murmurs under his breath something sounding like.
    ...<threemilindollars>...

Inez Temple has posed:
Guess who's #1?!

Monet is! Yay! Monet's helpful advise is met with a single finger pointed up in her general direction from Inez, as she regards Wade with narrowed eyes. That pop open when he reveals it was an Asgardian artifact they sold. "... Thor's... hat." She really didn't need Weasel's hint that Wade is hiding something. Sure, they may have been married by someone in Vegas pretending to be Nick Fury, and sure the legality of it is extremely questionable to the point neither of them know if they're really married still, but she's done enough jobs to know Wade.

And being in the business, as it were, she's got a generally good idea on the price stuff goes for black-market. Split eight ways, carry the 10th spot, and subtract 'finder's fee' for a bitchy controller, and Inez doesn't need much for Wade to clarify. "Three mi..." She snaps her jaw shut, and eyes Wade. She shakes her head. "Shit. Y' get the next round, Wade." She tells him, and then casually reaches into her fur coat, pulling out a stack of paperwork. It says 'Petition for Divorce On Grounds of Insanity'. "Say, mind signin' some paperwork? Need it f' open enrollment in healthcare." And she beckons Monet over closer. "Y' can witness. Y' got one of them big money names..."

Monet St. Croix has posed:
Monet St. Croix would glance over at Deadpool, "I see. I suppose there's no business like it." Show business. "I take it then you have plans for the windfall and investment? or is it mostly going towards already established expenses so there's little chance to appreciate it?" She would look over at Inez while going to put some money to pay for the round.. Then as Inez gestures over at her she would squint her eyes and debate whether it was worth it to be drawn into this debacle..

And then deciding yes, with all the disasters going on in her life as of this last year, what was one more to the list? This one might honestly be refreshing for it merely being something close to home. "Of course. Do you require it notarized?"

Wade Wilson has posed:
    "I don't sign anything until I have my attorney look it over." Wade says simply and then gives a nod toward Weasel who is already busting out a pair of reading glasses from his shirt pocket, taking his time to even do so in a properly dapper way.
    Though while the bartender makes to take a gander at the aforementioned documents, Deadpool is spreading his hands wide. "I don't have any of the ducats yet. So you're gonna have to wait. For now..." He steps a little to the side and grabs a glass for himself, then proceeds to pour himself a little of that Captain Morgan's.
    "But hey, play your cards right and maybe. Just maybe I can be convinced to throw a grand or two your way." He tilts his head to the side, holding up one hand as if trying to shield himself from the villainy of grand expectations.
    Then he points a finger gun at Monet and adds, "That goes for you too, M-darling."

Inez Temple has posed:
Inez catches Weasel's eye, and sloooowly takes her fur coat off, revealing the pistols strapped to her side. And lightly lays a finger on one mother-of-pearl inlaid handle. Just a little something to remember while reading the details of the retroactive prenup with a million dollar payout through off-shore accounts and giving Inez all the passwords to Netflix, Nick At Night, and Disney+. Wade can keep HBO. No one watches HBO.

"Fisk don't require notarization." Monet is told with a nod of approval at sisters before misters, possibly earning her a couple grand payout herself. She also helps herself to some more Captain Morgan's, savoring it as if it were oak aged scotch instead of plastic. She eyes Wade, waiting for his protests.

Monet St. Croix has posed:
Monet St. Croix would look over at Inez, "Fisk? You are keeping in high company these days. Going up in the world, congratulations." She would go to fold her hands together and scan over the paperwork. "Very well, just show me what sorts of things require a statement on.." And the two will have to resolve whatever chaos there is on their own. And she's going to make /very/ sure to put someone else's name on this so she can't be held legally liable.

Wade Wilson has posed:
    As Monet and Inez start to exchange telling words about these particular legal documents, and as Weasel starts to peruse them, one of the other members of the party of the first part starts to slooooowly extract from the gathering. Just a few steps backwards, a slight ever so casual turn, then what one might consider a suitable moment for a quiet and low 'woop-woop-woop' as the Merc with the Mouth starts to beat what one would consider a hasty retreat.