1940/X-Sphere: Goat Simulator

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X-Sphere: Goat Simulator
Date of Scene: 02 June 2020
Location: Mojoverse
Synopsis: Chinese food was sacrificed to save some mutants and aliens.
Cast of Characters: Illyana Rasputina, Kitty Pryde, Julian Keller, Rogue, Piotr Rasputin, Julio Richter, Rahne Sinclair

Illyana Rasputina has posed:
Wednesday is apparently Chinese food night at Xavier's. A new place opened up down the way and a mass order might be exactly the sort of way to earn friends and support business. Unfortunately... there seems to be an issue. The poor driver for said restaurant rings up the order to ask for help getting directions. Whomever answers the phone for said delivery has the pleasure of speaking with someone who might be fourteen by squeaky voice.

"Uh, this is Bae. From Ten Dragon? I'm off Route 9 and, um, maybe White Plains?"

The fumbling noise of hands on his phone projects pretty loudly over the speaker. "Whoa, seriously, pulling a u-turn on the road? That's not safe! I c-can't figure out where I am. Like, c-could, uh, someone c-come out and help me get there?"

His vehicle sounds like a rattle trap, the groaning and squealing of a belt adding to vibrations from bolts barely locked down. It's really quite awful and alarming to even someone who couldn't drive. "Don't want your food getting c-c-cold." An alarming squeaking noise, like nails on the chalkboard, emanates loudly over the line. Bae sounds startled, his voice chattering as the phone lands with a thud. "Oh, damn, where'd all /you/ fellows come from? N-n-nice m-m-monster g-g-"

The call ends.

Kitty Pryde has posed:
Kitty Pryde is in the Rec Room. The Chinese place she used to order from closed down while she was away in the UK. She isn't familiar with Ten Dragon, but one of the students recommended it, so she put in a big order for a number of the students and staff. She has her phone on speaker.

"Sure, you need to head down the road to the west there," she's starting to say, while laying on a couch upside down, feet on the couch back and head down near the floor. Lockheed is curled up on a cushion next to her. "And then-"

Kitty sits upright. "What? Bae? What's going on. What monster?" she asks into the phone. Assuming there's no answer, a worried look hits Kitty's face and she starts working her phone, calling up her software to trace the signal of his phone since she's got his number from his call to her. "Hey guys, something's up. Driver said something about a monster before his phone went dead. We should go check it out," she says, hopping to her feet.

Julian Keller has posed:
Julian Keller hasn't been going out much since returning from his kidnapping. Probably understandable, given the physical and psychological toll he suffered at the hands of Sinister. He'd poked out today long enough to put in a food order, planning to take his portion back to his room to eat.

When Kitty announces that there's something wrong with the driver, he lets out an irritated sigh, "Can't even get takeout in this place without something going wrong," he mutters. Still, part of him is excited, too. He has a lot of pent-up aggression and something to fight would give him an outlet.

Rogue has posed:
Rogue is leaning on the counter in the Rec Room and staring out over the room toward the windows that look out into the backyard. She's got a drink in front of her with a green plastic silly-straw poking up out of it, and leans down to take a sip out of it while Kitty is on the phone, her white hair falling all around her face as she sips.

She looks up when Kitty's pitch and tone changes, then raises her right gloved arm up to sweep her voluminous hair up and over her head, out of her vision so she can look over at Kitty on the phone, a puzzled expression now on her youthful face.

With a heavy sigh, Rogue straightens up and starts to walk over toward one of the double doors that lead out to the patio. "Want me to fly out and see what I can see?" She asks. "Do some recon for ya'll?" Already reaching for the door handle to twist and open it to the hot summer day outside.

Piotr Rasputin has posed:
Piotr is mildly excited for Chinese night. Though he is not exactly the master of eating with chopsticks (sausage fingers are not exactly helpful for using chopsticks, they aren't exactly a paintbrush). He has a two-liter of Dew in one hand and is pretty pleased at the moment having staked out a chunk of couch for himself.

When the call is answered, the mildly jovial Russian frowns and says, "Da. Hopefully he is all right." Rogue gets a nod and Julian a snort of amusement, "We can not have nice things, I think is how the saying goes."

Julio Richter has posed:
Julio isn't so much a devotee of Chinese night as he is a devotee of any food at all times, so when word got to him that there was some kind of takeout in the offing, he signed on without delay. Does he have money? Not really. Does he have any idea what most of these dish names mean? Nope. Did that stop him from putting in an order for a solid third of the menu? Absolutely not.

He can actually hear the rattling deathtrap of a car just from sitting near Kitty on the couch, so he idly places a hand against the floorboard and takes some deep breaths, feeling for the vibrational signature of a poorly-aligned camshaft and persnickety valves. Internal combustion has its charms, but stealth is not one of them, especially to someone with Richter's abilities.

"Guess we'd better take a look," he confirms, nodding at Rogue and levering himself off the couch at the same time. "Do we have the brain channel? No? I guess just text, then," he tells the soon-to-be airborne southern belle.

Illyana Rasputina has posed:
Bae doesn't respond. The line is dead. The next call rings twice at most, and involves a tortured sound like a dial-up modem being assaulted by Eris, goddess of discord. A cut-off "He" is the only sound in a vaguely human voice. Redialing may be difficult on the roadside with monsters afoot!

At least they have a location. Route 9's as good as a highway for these parts, other than the interstate, two lanes slithering north and south along the axis of the Hudson River Valley. Lonely turnoffs past the string of towns lead into farm country and patchy forest, but very little that constitutes truly wild. Bae's indication of his last whereabouts before a major east-west road, or what counts as prominent on a map of Westchester County, shouldn't be too hard to navigate to. In a vehicle other than, say, a Blackbird, which might overshoot two or three states at cruising altitude.

Illyana is here for one purpose and one purpose only: a cake. A box from somewhere definitely not local bears the twisted bows of a place that recognizes 'birthday' as a high holy day, and therefore acts the part. She carries this en route, presumably, to the kitchen or a hidden vault where one can store cakes without everyone under age 35 devouring it when no one is looking. Hindered by Piotr's presence behind Rogue's silhouette, she stops long enough in her pursuit to arch an eyebrow at the brunette. "Still time for a surprise?"

The cake did nothing to deserve the mild scowl, one elevated to Piotr. "This is a nice thing." Held out to Julio then. "For you. Da?"

Julian Keller has posed:
Julian Keller doesn't make chitchat as he flies, wearing a pair of Gucci sweatpants and a Ye t-shirt that cost 900 dollars despite being just a plain white tee. He has his arms flat against his sides, hopefully not calling attention to the bandages wrapped around his empty wrists.

He descends towards the vehicle slowly, wrapping a TK bubble around himself for protection just in case there's some sort of ambush as he descends to land near the driver's side of the SUV. The fact that there is a veritable army of llamas milling around is certainly something that is happening even if he can't exactly process what it means right now. "Just...stay back, fluffballs."

Kitty Pryde has posed:
After agreeing to the scouting, Kitty announces she is willing to drive one of the school's cars. "Alright, load up," she'll say once they've reached the garage. Once everyone is they shoot out down the drive to the gate, and then travel at higher than legal speeds down the roads on their way to Highway 9

The trip takes a bit longer than it does the scouting party, but eventually they find a turn off and make their way down the road. That's when they start to see them. Llamas. The animals with two L's, from South America, not the actor Lorenzo from the 1990s!

"Uh... did we just drive into Peru or something?" she asks. "There's his car," she says, pulling over that way, careful of the animals as she coasts forward to a stop and hops out of the car.

Rogue has posed:
Rogue floats on along with Julian and comes to land near to him where the llamas are. She grins at this and just turns around. "What the ever livin' hell?" She has to say before she looks down the road to see the others coming. Rogue raises her phone up and speaks into it over the team comms. "Looks like Tina came t'get her food after all. Brought some friends too." She states over the comms, now walking toward the Chinese food deliverer's vehicle. "I hope they're okay... are they even in the car?" She asks, eying one of the animals as it eyes her.

Illyana Rasputina has posed:
Night hasn't quite set in, but the slants shadows pooling out from under the trees in verdant capes pronounce it won't be too long. An hour or so before the sun dips too far into the west. The SUV has no running lights on, and honestly, Toyota would deny any connection to the rusty, once champagne monstrosity lurking like an homage to Japanese dystopian anime. Overly tinted windows dim whatever's inside but for those with keen senses, it smells deliciously fragrant with an abundance of seven spices or umami bliss promised by a pile of fried rice, heaps of noodles, and more variations on pork, beef, and chicken than Julio can shake a tectonic plate to. Unfortunately a sacrifice of orange chicken has spilled down the passenger's seat, one of the boxes tipped over. The bumper conspicuously has a ding in it, fresher than the other dings, possibly corresponding to a big round head. But importantly, the rest of the food is okay. Adventure over.

A dazed fluffins on hooves is certainly staggering around if anyone wants to look for her. Bae is evidently not in the driver's side, nor slouched over, but the door handle is missing. Is that a -bite- mark munched into the crumpled door?

One of the llamas makes a wheezy nicker noise that sounds like a door hinge being squeaked repeatedly. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_JIUS9PPxw - loud at 21s) It proceeds to head exactly in Julian's direction with a curious gleam in its eye. Another makes its best impression of an animated stapler at Rogue.

Piotr Rasputin has posed:
Piotr looks down at Illyana and raises a brow, "The cake is indeed a nice thing. But it appears we are going to see what happened to delivery boy. Care to join us, little sister?" He gestures for her to follow, "Also cake was good idea, and thoughtful." He joins the others in the car, buckling up, trying to get comfortable.

In the car, Piotr looks out and blinks as looks at the surroundings, "I do not think we are in Westchester anymore."

Julio Richter has posed:
When Illyana holds out the cake, Julio stops halfway to the door, pointing at himself sort of stupidly. "¿Para mi cumpleaños?" he asks, happily bemused, as though there's any question what the occasion might be.

The only real question is what hellish magicks the Russian wrought to discover the date in question. Julio might have mentioned it to someone in a thoughtless moment of introspection, or mentioned it to several someones in a coordinated bid to make sure the date got some recognition. (In Illyana's specific case, there's an off chance that she did, in fact, ask a demon.) The beauty and horror of high school gossip dynamics is that no one will ever really be sure -- to quote a generation's greatest sage -- what IS the truth.

But for the moment, the group has concerns greater than the start of one member's 20th year on Earth. Namely: dinner. So without a break for singing or candle-lighting, he piles into the passenger side of Kitty Pryde's ride, tryin' to holler at ... llamas?

"Shoo," he gently admonishes the animals once they've arrived, sweeping his hands to encourage them away from the seemingly unmanned delivery vehicle -- and, more importantly, their Homeric epic of a food order. Not quite the all-out monster hunt he was expecting from the panicky call.

Julian Keller has posed:
Julian Keller peeks his head in the SUV, "I don't see anybody. Weird," he says. "Oh, hey, my chicken curry," he says. A bit of TK grasps the right foil tray of his food, along with his side of fried rice, green energy encircling them and pulling them free of the seemingly abandoned vehicle.

"Thank god I have my own chopsticks," he mutters, then calmly starts to hover up into the air, "Well, guys, like...tell me how it turns out. Or don't. I don't honestly care. See you at the house."

Illyana Rasputina has posed:
In Illyana's case, she -did- ask a demon. Because for those nearest and dearest, a Hell Lord wants that hidden information. Or it may simply be the cake is a way of saying thank you. He won't know until he opens the box, a future mystery. "Find out after dinner," all she has to say about that. She will happily squish up against Piotr or tailgate in the trunk as necessary for space, but otherwise uses the ride as an excuse to sit there ominously.

Meanwhile, the group emerging from the car has to deal with a herd chasing one another around or doing happy tippy-taps on the scarred pavement. Another looks up from molesting the gate, ripping out a pile of wires, chewing at them hopefully. More twangs erupt as the llama drags over its meal, hauling the fencing as far as it can before being checked by a deeply buried post. Kitty will have a wall of wool to navigate effortlessly around, since at least twelve are in the way. Out comes a littler llama, not by much, all fuzzy and fluffy, bounding with ridiculous ease and grace to get in the way of Julio. Its chuffed sounds belong better to an animal a quarter its size. Total monster hunt. Look at those big, beautiful eyes.

And for Piotr? He might just /ride/ one of those biggest ones in the back, if he felt up to it. Alpine eyelashes are batted.

Kitty Pryde has posed:
Kitty Pryde climbs out of the car after getting their close to that of the driver. "What in blazes," Kitty says as she looks around, a hand rubbing at her the back of her neck. "No sign?" she repeats after hearing Julian. "Wait, you're leaving? The guy's missing," she says. "Any sign of where people might have gone in this llama herd?" she asks.

She moves on towards the delivery vehicle to get a look for herself. Kitty pulls out her phone and begins looking for any other signals in the area. Wireless networks or cell phones, anything that might indicate people in the vicinity.

Rogue has posed:
Rogue is walking toward the car, when she sees the llama do that little animated motion toward her which makes her stop and peer her green eyes at it. "What is this?" She asks then. "Do one'a those rich folks with llama fields live near here? I seen some in a field flyin' around, but I thought that was further south." She turns back to the car to see it empty and the handle of the driver's door broken. Pulling the door open she'll move to sit down inside of the car to look around inside of the driver's seat. "Found our food." She calls out to the others, staring at the bags in the passenger seat.

Rogue looks up when Kitty draws near with her phone and shakes her head. "I figure a fence went down, and they stampeded out here? Maybe this driver got spooked and took off? I mean some'a these things are pretty big..."

Piotr Rasputin has posed:
Piotr is concerned as they are all now penned in the car due to the camelid invasion. "I believe we live here, now." His voice reveals some mild frustration, though this dissipates once the food has been found, "Oh, pass mine back here!" Peanut chicken, because it is not spicy, "Though it is weird they are all deciding to harass us." He frowns and tries to open the door, though he does not push too hard, lest he hurt the livestock. He's a farm kid, he knows they are worth money.

Julio Richter has posed:
Julio greets the smaller llama that bounds toward him with a look of friendly confusion. "Hola, mullida," he greets the animal, reaching over to scritch at the back of its long neck. Unlike Piotr, he's a city boy with no experience with farm animals, so he has no expectations about their behavior. He's a little confused, sure, but not by their actions so much as their general existence.

Regardless, he's not going to fight the fluffy tide, just try to meander through it and retrieve as many takeout boxes as he can. Still: "Does anyone else feel kind of weird about just... taking the food? Like, are we just going to leave the car here? Maybe we should call again."

Kitty Pryde has posed:
Kitty Pryde is picking her way forward rather than phasing, if she can help it, let she not be able to unphase easily with so many of the animals shifting about. "Don't really see any signals in the area. Just his phone in the car," she says as she draws nearer to it.

Kitty stops, looking at her phone and then sways a bit as if dizzy. She puts out a hand, thankfully there's a llama there to help her steady herself. "Wow, some distortion, like some advertising feed that popped up," she says, frowning at her phone. "Gone now though."

Julian Keller has posed:
Julian Keller shrugs at Kitty, "And? I mean, don't get me wrong, hope they're okay, #thoughtsandprayers, but, like, that is not my job and not my prob..." he says, then closes his eyes for a second, wobbling in the air as it seems like the world goes out of focus somehow, visions dancing before his eyes. He drops a few feet in height before he catches himself again, shaking his head.

"If these llamas are hitting me with some sort of psychic brainwave evil, I'm going to light every one of them on fire," he mutters.

Illyana Rasputina has posed:
The food isn't touched except for that one poor box. Neither is Bae in the back seat of the Highlander, since those rows of seats simply contain more food packed up by Ten Dragon. No trouble getting it out, though, and doling out the orders. It smells good, still warm. No wonder Julian wants to hurry off with his dinner, hovering up there with a look of arrogant mischief in those eerie, sideways-slitted eyes.

The llamas mill around the SUV and the people interested avoiding or petting them, treating them both the same. Fluffy, curious beasts push in to nose and sniff at the mutants, or just to stand in the way of Rogue getting out of the SUV. Piotr has to work that door open with difficulty because the Andesian flock apparently wants to get real up close and personal. But with him easing a space away, he can slide out. Which explains the tiny, gamboling, particolored doom that hops out after him... in pentacle-covered pyjamas at that, hooves striking off the ground. A fell bleat inexplicably calls <<Brother...>>

You've got to be KIDding.

Because /everyone/... is a young goat. Perhaps a giant kid, but still a kid. Thoughts and prayers for Julian, floating kid in the sky, but too bad for his dinner. He'll have to snatch it with his teeth, as hooves have no thumbs.

Rogue has posed:
Rogue is in the /process/ of getting back out of the Delivery vehicle when she stops and raises a black gloved hand up to her forehead. "Woah." She softly says, staring at the window of the driver's door. "Somethin's off..." She mutters then, her dark eyelashes fluttering several times and her head shaking right to left. "Stay outta the car!" She says with force to everyone within ear-shot. "I think there's drugs inside'a it... I don't feel right."

The Belle moves to stand up on her heeled shooes, and as she does so she lowers her head and then slumps against the side of the car down onto her knees with her left hand on the side of the vehicle.

Kitty Pryde has posed:
A small, nimble goat with braided brown hair on the back of its head looks up from the delivery driver's car. Kitty bleats softly in surprise and confusion, then lowers her head to look at her legs. She cranes her head about on her neck looking at her body.

The little goat looks back around for the others, trotting over to the car that they had arrived in. <<Piotr?>> she bleats. <<Rogue!? Are you here?>> she says, each word coming out as goat noise of various sorts. The little goat ambles about nervously.

Piotr Rasputin has posed:
Piotr is baffled by what he sees, the sky and ground are different, but clearly something is up as he feels wheezy and shuffle steps and finds his viewpoint a bit lower as he is now a tiny goat kid, and is definitely a bit confused for the time being.

The chonky goat kid that was Piotr grumples as he bounds looking around until he tunrs to see Illyana and Kitty as his skin turns to metal reflexively, <<What is going on? Who did this?>> He continues bounding around, hoping to find some more clues, <<Also what is with these ads?>>

Julio Richter has posed:
Julio stops, hand on the car door, and stares upward, blinking and swaying in place. Some kind of lightshow seems to have dazzled him, like a UFO flyover, and he staggers back to keep his balance, heedless of any llama llegs he might stomp on or even trip over. Spots swirl in his vision, the afterimage of the silent fireworks display, and he says, "Whoa, what the hell was that?"

Well, /actually/ what he says is "Meh-NYEHHHH-H-H-H!" No worries about becoming a llama sstompa, because suddenly the pack animals are towering over him, bodies obscuring the lightshow sky from his lateral pupils. He totters back on four legs, easily slipping beneath a llama and then bounding away in fright, front hooves and back tip-tapping in succession. "MAAHH-H-H-H! ÑÑAAAHHH-H-H-H!" he bleats, voice taking on a panicky edge.

Unfortunately, the tone is all anyone else is going to get, because in his shock at the sudden transformation, Goat Julio has reverted to bleating... in Spanish.

Rahne Sinclair has posed:
    Given the number of llamas present, it would be completely plausible that seeing anything more than llama within the herd would be difficult. However, as it seems that the former rescue party for one Chinese food delivery driver sudden discover an abundance of fur and hooves upon their persons, what was once hidden becomes visible.

    And, in this case, the hidden is another goat. A rather small, tiny goat, of the fainting variety. This one seems to covered in what appears to be fur coloured red...red as rust. And, if a goat could look indignant....this one would certainly be so. The front hooves stamp on the ground...the green slitted eyes (green?!) appearing almost annoyed. A long bleating is heard....but this bleating *somehow* has an accent. Because, of course it does.

    <<Git ye bloody hooves outta mah way! Can'tcha see Ah tryin' tae walk 'ere!?>>

    Apparently, someone isn't too happy that she is even smaller now than she usually is.

Julian Keller has posed:
Julian Keller is still flying despite now being a small golden-furred pygmy goat, forehooves missing, hovering in the air above the others with more than a bit of rage of its own. <WHAT THE SWEET FUCK IS THIS?> he bleats angrily and there's a splintering sound as his TK crumples the hood of the car and crunches some bits of the engine in the bargain, a bit of oil and fluids seeping out of the bottom in a big puddle.

Telekinetically, he can still maneuver his body so, when he lands, he maneuvers his goat self to mostly be standing up on his hind legs. <I am...peeved.>

Rogue has posed:
From the other side of the vehicle that Kitty-Goat is on, another Goat raises its head. This one has dark brown hair with a long white streak that runs dow nthe back of it's head, with long white strands mixing in with the otherwise dark locks of the goat's mane. It 'Baaaahhhs' as it steps out of whatever clothing the person it had once been was wearing.

And naturally it does the first thing that comes to mind, which is to walk over to one of the male goats and starts to do goaty-flirtatious things toward them. You can take the human out of the the girl, but you can't take the girl out of the goat? Soemthing like that.

Illyana Rasputina has posed:
Somewhere, a large yellow alien is cackling. Screens and projections spill the torments of the confounded mutant goats to a direly curious audience.

The llamas aren't exactly calm about the transition, trotting around. No longer quite a milling mass surrounding the SUV and the former humans, they press in with those great woolly legs. Suddenly those cute black eyes aren't so cute when viewed from up, wayyyy up. Fency McChewer snaps his head and rips out a wire section, leaving it hanging fraught and cruel from his teeth. The llama all about Julio takes a kick at him while he rolls around and bleats, and it's not merely to get him out of the way so it can bury its face in the Chinese food.

That comes later. Lawlessnes and tyranny descend accordingly, because one llama -will- shove her head into the SUV as an opportunist for the veggie fried rice. Her peers cruelly squeeze in, giving no quarter, no portion to these hapless caprine victims. Apparently they're all about that meal, turning into sharks in chummed water.

Except one poor llama who keeps headbutting the door of the SUV now and then, stumbling around. Clearly he hasn't got the hang of llamaing so much. The telekinetic display has it shrilling like a demented barn door and fleeing for the field where somehow, it assumes sitting down in the grassy muck and lying its long neck down will hide it.

<<This is /demeaning/.>> Her bleats, tiny and pure, simmer with anger. Illyana is a diminutive kid hopping around like the ground is a red-hot pan and she a drop of water. Unlike most baby goats, she has an absolutely real pair of pointy horns, especially sharp and pitch black, arching back in a charming display of murderousness. Those sproings are ridiculously high, and involve getting atop the car Kitty drove in. She gets up to keep watch along with Kitty. <<Who else is out there?>> Because anyone is going to be afraid of a hood ornament or Julio scudding around. <<Let. Me. Out.>> Okay, shouting about it in bleat is not going to work so well either. Especially with the forced shake of her head.

Rahne Sinclair has posed:
    <<Sure. Ah go for a run an' end up a walkin' appetizer.>> The llamas are providing Rahne (as if the Scottish bleats didn't give it away) with no quarter, their feet lashing out to attempt to give the tiny goat a kick. The Scot-goat is certainly agile, though, as the small little thing jumps, dips and dives, avoiding the callous assault. <<Lord above, if Ah was mah normal size...>> There is a decidedly odd sort of snarl, as if a goat was trying to imitate a wolf, which only comes out rather cute from the petite one.

Rogue has posed:
Rogue-goat just turns around and faces the SUV, lowers her head and rams into it! Apparently not terribly happy about the current situation. So she decides to do what comes naturally to her, smash something. With goat-headed precision she slams into the side of the delivery vehicle then leans her head back to call out very loudly, angrily before she gets hit by one of the Llamas from the side which knocks her down!

A second later and she's jumbling back up to her feet to turn around and run head-first into the Llama that just dared hit her, and within seconds there's a fiasco of llama versus Rogue-goat chaos unfolding on the side of this lonesome westchester road!

Julio Richter has posed:
The mottled black and white kid that ought to be Julio Richter continues its panic-dance under and away from the crowd, but as he hyperventilates, he's also shunting seismic power around willy-nilly. What would otherwise be adorable, barely audible clip-clops are instead each the epicenter of a rolling earthbound tremor.

Admittedly, these tremors are still adorable in scale: enough to set off car alarms, give neighboring animals a little trampoline kick into the air, and, as it turns out, inspire a retaliatory kick from an irritated llama. As if his little baby earthquakes weren't emasculatingly cute enough, this attack finally sends Julio into one of the most ridiculous panic responses known to biology.

"ÑEHH-H-H! ÑAAAHH-H-H! Ñuhhhw..." Legs stiffened outward, Hispanic-inflected baaas fading to nonsense, Goatlio lists helplessly leftward and then topples, hooves sweeping into the air as he dead-bugs in the grass. Illyana thinks /her/ situation is demeaning? The audience absolutely /eats this up/, Julio's humiliation sending roars of laughter and spikes of ratings rippling through the Mojoworld airwaves.

Illyana Rasputina has posed:
The poor battered SUV goes flying. There goes the Chinese food order inside, too, spilled and flung all over the interior. Hiding in the gutter on the wrong side of the road, one llama cries his horror and mournful opinion to the skies, long neck thrown back, snout uplifted.

Where did the llamas get pointy fangs from? Maybe they've had those vicious teeth all along. But what takes a chomp out of steel can also take a bite out of Rogue, at least try. The llama with the wires is joined by a peer, snatching up the spare bit of fence. Together they form a clothesline of sorts with their wired doom, taking a run at Julio. They have to bend kind of low to do any real damage, but they sure have a plan in mind. Never mind the vibrating thunder that might knock them around, the galloping cavalry are coming for the Spanish-ranting goat.

Three angry llamas go crashing after the precious Chinese food. When they come up with sauce and noodles stuck to their fur, rage burns in their eyes. It's bedlaaaaaaaaaaam(b).

Julian Keller has posed:
Julian Keller just surrounds his goat self with a force field and stares balefully at everyone and everything, or at least as balefully as a small yellow goat can stare. Any llama who wishes to test itself against his barrier is welcome to try. The only reason he hadn't left is because he doesn't want to get left out if someone solves the goat situation. His curry chicken hovers up above his head, a display of defiance.

Kitty Pryde has posed:
The goat that is Kitty Pryde climbs up onto the car with the horny devil of a goat. <<The Professor is going to be so upset about the hoof marks on the car,>> she says. <<Yana, any idea what is causing this, or how to undo it? I got some kind of signal interfering with my phone. Like a commercial. But I don't know what could be causing us to shapeshift. Unless it's not real?>>

She turns to look at the others milling about. <<Maybe they were people too, but forgot already? We need to do something before it happens to us too.>>

Piotr Rasputin has posed:
<<This is why we can't have nice things,>> Piotr remarks in goat as he maneuvers around, Seeing Rahne, he gives a nod in salutation.

When Piotr notices the angry llamas charging Julio, the metal goat narrows his eyes and stomps the ground angrily (which is probably hilarious) and barrels forward, hoping to shield the dead-bugging Julio from the incoming stampede, <<Leave him alone!>> he baaaahs at the llamas, trying to be as intimidating as possible (not much).

Rogue has posed:
Rogue is just in pure rage mode, she's being bitten by sharp metal teeth and kicked by other llamas so whatever is causing any of this is lost now on the goat-Belle. She's just rushing around and slamming into other 'enemies' which results in a lot of llamas being tossed left and right, with animalistic sounds echoing around the edges of the road, through the fields and into the trees. If any other vehicles are about to pass by this stretch of road, they're going to see quite the sight, quite clearly!

Rogue's dialogue is omitted from this log. It's best not to know what she's saying or thinking about all of this.

Julio Richter has posed:
Fainted and helpless, Julio can only watch as the llamas bring their fencing to bear like the cowcatcher on an oncoming train. Then, at what feels like the last second, a knight in shining goathair interposes himself between the helpless fainting goat and a blow that probably would have sent him flying straight into Julian's meal.

At which point, Julio would not only be a fainting goat, but a curried goat. Let's just not think about it.

The sight of his ally heroically standing up to these assholles is enough to embolden Juligoat, and as his paralysis fades, he staggers back to his hooves and positions himself behind Pigoatr's metal flank. To his satisfaction, he watches a shining, vibratory green aura grow in the reflective chrome finish of the Russian's back leg.

Regaining enough composure to bleat in their common language, Juligoat suggests, <<You take the hits, compañero, and I'll hit back.>>

Rahne Sinclair has posed:
    The leaping kid goat that is Rahne runs out of luck as she catches a llama hoof right in the side, which sends the red pigmy goat flying into the dirt. The bleat that escapes her is a mixture of surprise and certain anger....the anger that all redheads possess when kicked to the curb. And...without even thinking about it, the tiny goat just lunges, jumping....

    And shifting in mid-air. Suddenly, the tiny goat isn't so tiny. Where once was a pigmy goat is now a Boer goat, at least 250 pounds of angry Scot....already airborne and head positioned as a battering ram. The hit is solid and true, sending the offending llama to the ground as Rahne-goat stands tall.

    <<That'll teach ye some manners!>> It is only after she realizes that she is looking down when Rahne realizes she...might have changed. <<Wha? Ah changed??>>

    This leads to a bit of experimentation, as Rahne tries to find her way back to normal. First, a pigmy. Then the Boer. Another second later and she is an Angorra. Then an Alpine. Finally, rather frustrated with herself, Rahne finds herself back to the original pigmy. All of them red furred...all with green eyes. The bleat that is released is all pure frustration...and not necessarily translatable, unless one knows gaelic.

Kitty Pryde has posed:
Kitty Pryde bleats out towards the rest, <<Something is causing this. Spread out and see if we can't find it. There might be a signal. Picked up something on my phone briefly. But just look for something unusual. Sniff and listen, too. We got goat senses now,>>

And with that Kitty-goat trots off, just phasing through the rest of the herd as she heads for the outskirts and starts doing a circle around the area. Doing as she suggested. Stop, listen, look. Sniff. Sniff sniff sniff. So this is what it's like to be Logan. Kind of. Probably smells a bit the same too.

Illyana Rasputina has posed:
With the bowling ball goat running around, Rogue might be the most feral of them all. Which might also make her coherency as anything other than a goat a little tricky. Kittygoat and Rahnegoat have a better take on things at least with their verbal coherency, and staying away from those powerful hooves delivering powerful kicks helps. The chaotic battle of large, tossed llamas isn't entirely lopsided, though, since many of the llamas land with weirdly bouncy durability and rise again from their awkward sprawls. Getting up on all fours is hard, but they tend to run in tandem once they get back to their hooves. Coordinated clotheslining is one thing; double-headbutts hurt, and they have a lot of strength behind them. Nothing on the little caprine, but when they lock in together, it seems to grow.

Gotta make it funny as hell for the audience, anyway. Look at them headbutt and plow up the ground! Look at the metal chonker making a stand against a clothesline attack that proves he's very heavy and makes the wire tangle all around him? Now Pigoatr is a goat wearing the fence, tangled up and trailing metal still attached to a fencepost or two. Maaaa-yyyhem! The llamas don't seem to actually understand what he's saying to them, that's clear.

Except a mournful screech bleat: "--maaaa car! Why d-did I take this joooob?"

Things aren't much better up there. <<I heard bad music, and there was a wall of people shouting,>> Illyana answers from up there, scratching her hoof against the hood of the car. <<She can change?>> Seeing llamas stampeding at her brother and rounding on him is too much for her. A flash of her teleportation circle opens and--

On the other side is a viscous crowd full of rainbow-coloured people, and then a llama runs her over in a frisson of confusion. An announcer yells, "NO, NO, NO. That's /cheating!/" If they've ever heard that voice... well, they ought to know who it is. Mojo is not happy in the morning.

Rogue has posed:
Whether Rogue is really 'there' still or not is debatable. But what isn't debatable, is that while Kitty is laying down logic-bombs and searching in a grid-pattern for answers... Rogue-goat still has her powers.

From one side of the street to the other, a ball of llama's suddenly flies through the air... it's majestic almost... in so far as the ball of angry llamas are being tossed, left right, up and down, and if you viewed it in slow motion you'd see just how agile their limbs really can move as they're thrown around!

Because Rogue-coat is flying through the air, 'Baaaahhing' and tossing llamas every which way!

Illyana Rasputina has posed:
Imagine a magnetic attraction of llamas to Rogue-goat. All the laws of attraction apply. The equal force she sends llamas flying with... send them back with equal force at that, a woolly implosion being dragged together with her at the epicenter. No reason to be concerned, just a bunch of wild, bandy-legged animals about to pile in in three.


Julio Richter has posed:
As Pigoatr is entangled, Juligoat bounds boldly around him, goat teeth bared, and charges forward without a moment's hesitation to ram his nubby little horns against the nearest llama. His itty bitty head is just high enough to reach the larger creature's foreleg 'knee,' and from the look on its face, if llamas could llaugh it would be doing so, scornfully. That is, until contact is made, and that seismic aura is delivered as a wide-angled shockwave, creating a disklike compression burst powerful enough to send both llama bullies rocketing through the air like a pair of Monty Python props.

Juligoat himself, perhaps predictably, reacts to the adrenalin thrill of his victory by... fainting again. Body stiff, he sits on his side like some kind of discarded goaty mannequin.

Kitty Pryde has posed:
The goat with the braided mane fur pauses and sniffs the air. Looks about. Sniffs more as if trying to locate where a scent is coming from. She trots about back and forth and gradually zeroes in on a road sign. <<Smells like there might be something over here electronic,>> she bleats to the others.

That voice. Kitty hears the voice and whirls about. She'd frown if she could. The result as a small goat is she just looks adorable. <<Oh no. No no no,>> she says.

She turns back around and heads for the road sign to investigate and see if there's something there she can turn off. Or perhaps head butt out of existence.

Piotr Rasputin has posed:
Piotr just wanted Chinese food. That's all he wanted. He did not want to become a goat, but it be how it do be. He stands the best he can until he is now wrapped up in a fence and continually tries to contort himself to ry and get loose, only to get himself more tangled. <<Not cool,>> is all he can remark as he continues until the seismic shock goes through and tosses him up and falls into a pile with the fence on him still, the short, chonky metal goat struggling for the time being.

Illyana Rasputina has posed:
Yes, yes, yes.

Illyana is slow to rise out of being flattened by her llama counterpart, her pentacle pyjamas fleecy and mildly torn. Unimpressed, she wriggles back up and utters no shrill sound at all. She has -horns-. A toss of her head might gore something about a foot tall, but with a middling gallop, she goes vibrationally bouncing across the ground. That means a dead run for Pigoatr. Kid sister's revenge might be flinging fence wiring or, worse, using hellish teeth to bite through the wires. Goats eat cans all the time, right?

It may be comforting to know the ozone smell that Kittygoat has caught onto wafts around a mile marker on the side of the road. Problem is, the marker is tall and wee goat is wee.

Meanwhile, the depressed llama hauls himself out of the ditch and lopes in as undignified a galumph as one can get to go rest himself against the SUV where it lies on its battered side. He keeps tripping as he walks, which is probably pure comedy.

Kitty Pryde has posed:
Kitty-goat jumps up at the milemarker. Kicking it. Kicking it. Hey this feels kind of good. She does a little spin and then bleats, <<Ok, this might be it. Come see if you can't tear this thing apart. If not I'll phase through it,>> she calls out towards the others.

The little goat backs away from it. She's capable of phasing and walking up into the air through it. But it'll be more satisfying of a reaction if the device is taken out in more spectacular fashion.

Rogue has posed:
Rogue-goat bursts out of the tree line on the other side of the road, sending angry llama's all flailing away from her as she barrels through them! Onto the road she runs at full speed - until she hits the road and her hooved feet skitter across the pavement causing her to fall down in a flailing mess of goaty-limbs!

But wait!

She bounces back up and then lifts her little goaty legs at the knees and starts to fly down the road toward Kitty-goat's location, and as she gets nearer she angles herself up for that mile-marker, lowers her head down and intends to run right through the damn thing! Like Kitty-goat would, except... no phasing.

Piotr Rasputin has posed:
Piotr is incredibly frustrated and flailing but is given aid by an angry baby sister chewing through some of it lets him actually break out for the time being <<Stupid fence>> he says as he kicks it, only to get shocked a bit, causing him to leap into the air with Piotr strength, landing safely on his feet. <<What is going ...>> he is zapped again, <<This better not ruin the food!>>

Rahne Sinclair has posed:
    Tiny goat anger aside, Rahne actually has experience in using animal senses. The tiny head swivels, as Rahne picks up the same ozone scent that Kitty must have picked up on. And...Kitty confirms with the mile marker as Rahne nods. <<Ah got that same sense, too. Alright...let's see if Ah can help.>>

    It takes a couple of tries, with Rahne shifting into a Damascus, Nigerian Dwarf, and a Jamnapari before she finds the Boer again....but once she has it, she makes a bee (goat?) line for the mile marker, arriving to it just at the same time as one airborn Rogue-goat arrives. And both....bowl through the mile marker, though Rogue might be doing more of the heavy lifting.

Julio Richter has posed:
Freed from fainting paralysis by the simple passage of time, Juligoat rocks back to his widdle hooves with an inarticulate chuff. He blinks his oddly-slitted eyes, taking in the state of the battle. <<Sorry, Piotr,>> he bleats guiltily, initially heading that way to help Illyana chew her way through the wiring. Before he gets there, though, Kitty-goat's call gets his attention, and he starts bounding in her direction instead.

Demolition time? Of a stone mile marker?? If there's ever been a superheroic task that Earthquake Boy was born for, it has to be this.

(Okay, the X-name needs workshopping.)

As Roguoat and Goatsbane charge in, he bounces in a series of quick little hops, each sending a wave of destructive force cascading through the ground and into the marker, weakening its structure. Basically, he's doing the superhero equivalent of loosening the pickle jar lid, even if it's totally unnecessary.

But boy do their combined efforts pay off: the whole world around him seems to light up with the detonation of the Mojoworld transmogrifier. Once again driven into a faint by the shock, he ends up just flying through the air, legs straight and stiff, like the world's dullest piñata.

Illyana Rasputina has posed:
<<The best offence is a dead fence>>, quips Illyana between arduous snaps and bites of the different wires. Yanks on the wires and the toss of her behorned head work well, though one of the llamas charging their way is about to have a bad day. Watching her brother wriggle free and then burst forward in a leap gives the woolly monster pause, but only for a moment. Well, no one told her she wasn't allowed to dive-slide around those great big legs and try to hamstring the llama in the process with her horns, though she may have an impressive migraine in the morning.

Especially when the realm falls apart with the device imploding from countless attacks. Several confounded beings are left lying on the ground in various states of trouble: at least two Atlanteans, someone with orange skin and knobby fists. Three or four llamas are obviously from South America, dazed and muttering in the same Portuguese accent, their powers hardly evident except for the telepathic halo. Team Trip, there, bruised and battered. One poor Korean kid, Bae, hugs the tire of his ancient Toyota Highlander.

Mojo froths and spittle flies around him. The screen is snowy white, then overlaid by bars of rainbow colours for another ad being queued up. "That wasn't supposed to happen!" he shouts, offending someone nearby.

"Next time! I would have gotten better ratings, too, if it wasn't for you meddling kids!"