16924/Lord of the Monsters - Rise of the Magmanites

Lord of the Monsters - Rise of the Magmanites
Date of Scene:	18 January 2024
Location:	Central Park
Synopsis:	Magmanites arrive through one of the kaiju fissures in New York on a mission to deliver invites - and are stopped by a diverse group of heroes. What do you wear to a wedding for magma people? Asbestos Undies!
Cast of Characters:	Mark Grayson, Mary Jane Watson, Evan Sabahnur, Jack Nolan, Audra Meridian, Caleb Dykstra, Bunny Macleod
Tinyplot:	Lord of the Monsters

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Mark Grayson has posed:
With the rise of seismic and kaiju activity around the world, it was only a matter of time before it made it's way into New York City proper. It's cold winter's day, and in the midsts of Central Park, on one of the many ponds that makes up the lake, there is a pair of old people sitting in a row boat, fishing where the pond has not frozen over yet. As the line is tugged on one of their poles, Ed glances up. "Oh hey, I got a bite!"

"Ed, is it me, or are we sinking?" Charles asks in obvious confusion.

Indeed, as the two men sit in their boat, the water from the pond is draining downwards before exploding out into a large pillar of steam as the super-heated water is sprayed around the area. Ed and Charles can only sit in their boat and watch as the various fish flop around in the mud as from an opening the size of a semi-truck, there comes several glowing figures.

Each one is around three feet tall, and they are little squatty bodies. Their head and torso seem to be joined as one unit with thick arms and legs. They appear to be made of rock, with glowing magma showing through joints and crevaces in their squatty little bodies. Now that they are on the surface, they start to fan out, their object seems to be not only to chase out the humans in the park, but as one of them aims to destroy one of the large statues in the park with a ball of magma and others are moving towards the various vendor carts in the park, there seems to be two that are seperating from the others - one is angling towards the Latverian Embassy. The other towards the Genoshian one.

Mary Jane Watson has posed:
Mary Jane Watson has been reading the reports flooding out from the Pacific, and they're rather terrifying. The part of her that is Sonja can appreciate such terrifying beasts of legend the likes of which only the gods could slay, that not even hte greatest of wretches and freaks would not flee from before they were crushed without so much as a notice by the huge things. Sonja herself has many memories of such things. That to whom even the largest dragons are but irritants. That only the greatest of the old ones could summon and bring out.

Perhaps her era ended in such things which finally crushed the surviving civilizations, that were enough to bring the lost gods back down to Earth to save it from such horrors. But that story,d ear traveler, is not this story. That is a story for another time and place. Of a separate woe for a separate realm.

She's walking forwards and then hears the sounds of Magmanites and just takes out a moment to do a blink. Volcanic Mole Men?

Then she goes to guess what direction they're charging off in and goes to chart it in her head, and moves to swear and pulls out a small walkie talkie. <<Central Park, Agent Watson here. Seeing numbers of small creatures that look like.. Moloids made out of lava that are running up from a hole in the ground. Looks like they're heading in the direction of a couple of the embassies. Latverian and Genoshan. Try and get together a response force.>>

Evan Sabahnur has posed:
    Evan spends a lot of time in Bushwick these days, working at Hope House. Sometimes he just needs to get away and take a little 'me time'. This is one of those moments, so he's been walking through the park, munching on a hot dog from one of the many carts to be found in the area. Since the cold doesn't affect him, he's just wearing his usual jeans and tee shirt combo.

    The first hint that something is wrong comes as people start running past him, fleeing from something ahead of him. He takes the last bite of the hot dog, tosses the end bit of the bun to a nearby pigeon and starts jogging towards whatever the people are running from.

    Sometimes you just can't get a little time to yourself.

Jack Nolan has posed:
It would seem that despite his supposed 'retirement' that Jack has been getting hauled into missions one after another because of the ongoing kaiju threat. Pays to be nigh indestructible, he supposes. He's been bouncing around a lot between New York and Metropolis, with the occasional stop in D.C. for good measure.

He had been about three blocks from Central Park when he picked up Agent Watson's transmission. He turns towards the park and starts heading that way as fast as he can, getting out into the street proper since there's too many civilians on the sidewalk.

In other cities this would be weird, <"Agent Watson, I'm enroute to the Genoshan embassy to intercept."> Okay so he's biased, sue him.

Audra Meridian has posed:
With all the (un)natural phenomenon going on across the world it doesn't take long for such an event in the middle of Central Park to have alerts screaming across the city and getting into the ears of those on watch for such things. That or you happen to be high enough that you can see the gyser like eruption past the rooftops. If you want to get really technical both could apply, as Windrose sees the blast of steam, but it's moments after that the alerts come across emergency frequences that she has access to thanks to her civilian profession. "Sounds like that was definitely not a water main breaking from the cold." And with that she's off across the skyline towards the park.

It doesn't take long for her to be cruising over Central Park and getting a prime view of what's going on. A lot of rocky bipeds terrorizing the patrons of the park. Okay, if they're made of rock and dirt she's not going to be able to do much with lightning right now.

"Guess we'll just have to wing it." Windrose swoops done and fires a blast of wind at some rockheads terrifying a vendor, part to get their attention and part to test just how sturdy they are really going to be. If they're too stout and heavy for her to blow back it's better to know how rather than later.

Caleb Dykstra has posed:
It's been a good day for Caleb, so far. Got some materials for his school projects - and personal projects, too -, and found himself with some extra time on his hands. And this means, since his travel by car brings him so close to Central Park, a hot meal stop with a nice view of the lake.

Having made his order, he's enjoying the view of the frozen lake.

...

Okay, more like a defrosting - no, even eveporating - lake, with magma creatures coming out of the hole where a lake used to be in.

"...What the holy hell...!?" He looks up for a moment, "...It's becoming a burden, buddy. Get back to me."

Okay, time to start assessing the situation... Maybe going for big snow plows?

'Caleb, what're you thinking? Seriously!'

He pulls out a few shurikens from his coat pockets, activates a slider in their center, "Man, do I miss Freeze right now...", and he throws one at one that be far away from people, the charge in it set to blow up.

Bunny Macleod has posed:
    Bunny had been out in Central Park walking her very unusual pet, content with some outside time, wrapped up in a sparkly, rainbow-colored scarf and walking the spikey, long-tailed club tortoise (at least, that's what Beeper was listed as on their lease. He's very obviously a slightly larger than volleyball-sized ankylosaurus) when the first cries went out about the strange creatures. But strange things are kind of her jam.

    So she hefts Beeper into her arms, and makes towards the tounds of panic on the quick, taking to the air with her sparkly rainbow scarf flying behind her like a banner.

Mark Grayson has posed:
As heroes start to arrive on the scene, the Magmanites are already hard at work. One of them has grabbed a hot dog cart and is starting to pushing it towards the opening. Another is currently spooking an NYPD Horse Officer near Mary Jane! The horse throws his rider and is currently bucking wildly, unsure of it's direction and clearly scared by the fire based creatures.

The two heading towards the embassies are continuing their plodding march - the observant will notice that those two are carrying what seems to be a small case, unaffected by their own firey natures.

And as the one heading towards the Genoshan Embassy is intercepted, it hisses, facing off against Jack. Ripping a piece of his forearm off, he balls it up and flings it at the large rock dinosaur, attempting to splatter him with the magma spray. The case is pulled closer to it, the creature intent on protecting it.

Audra's arrival is noticed by the picking up of the wind. The hot dog Magmanite turns towards the wind, but as it picks up, Audra will discover that while short and stout, they do not weigh very much as the creature is moved - not terribly much - but with a bigger blast, she may very well be able to knock it off it's feet!

Caleb's shuriken smacks solidly into the creature. Which looks down at it as it beeps at him and then... there's an explosion - and magma goes all over the place as the creature is blown apart. Careful not to get burned if you're rushing into the danger.

Like Bunny for instance. Look, it's something she's taller than! And as one of the Magmanites sees her, it taps it's companion and they come up with a plan. One of them rolls himself up into a large ball - and the first Magmanite picks up his companion and throw-rolls it at the prismatic hero! Bowling for Bunny!

Mary Jane Watson has posed:
The first check that Mary Jane does is that the upended policeman is okay. The horse can't be calmed and it will race away until it gets somewhere to hide. The officers can deal with it later. Now.. Now she has to quickly evaluate and deal with the position. Hand given to help the scrambling officer up.. "Get out of here and form a perimeter." Instructions quickly given even as Mary Jane goes to quickly reach over behind her back, taking out the two large sheathes concealed by the heavy jacket she has on. She moves to then draw out two blades. Both ancient. One forged by dwarves. The other by science. Neither born of magic. Both bathed in blood.

She would go to stalk forwards towards the nearest Magmacite, twirling the two weapons over in her hands, moving to quickly stalk towards it. She goes to quickly charge at the nearest one and circles! Her intent being to draw it's attention towards her and get it facing her to make sure that it's not attacking the others. Her first blade goes to slash forwards, trying to strike! The blade of a fallen Shieldmaiden goes to slash, attempting to skewer the lava creature along the torso. Her strike is reserved - she's not sure how durable these things are or what they're made of. Magical golems? Silicon forged?

Audra Meridian has posed:
Huh. Lighter sedimentary material? Or pourous? Or because they're magma on the inside instead of solid rock? There's a few reasons they'd not be heavy that Windrose can think of, but it's not super relevant to the moment, and she's not a geologist to sit and puzzle it out. Not when there's still potential issues with civilians since these brickabrack came up in middle of a big city park.

"Okay you overgrown pet rock, time to get back in your cave." Windrose grips both hands together, arms extended forward, so she can use the emitters of both gauntlets in tandem to create a greater wind force. But keep it focused in a cyclonic, tubular formation blowing ahead, aiming to push the rock creature back into the creavase they've climbed out of. This time with enough force behind it that you can start to see the spirals moving ahead as bits of dust and other particles get caught up in the moving air.

Evan Sabahnur has posed:
    Arriving at the lake area, Evan blinks a bit upon seeing the small magma creatures apparently attacking the park. This is a new one, for sure. Noting that they don't seem all that invulnerable or anything, he heads into the fray. "Lava critters.. Ok, we can deal with this."

    A moment's concentration is all that he needs for his arm to morph into something like the water turrets you see on top of some fire trucks. Seeing that the officer is already out of danger, he takes a few steps then leaps into the air, flying in the direction of the lava critter headed for the Latvarian embassy. Once in range, a forceful stream of water blasts out of his modified arm towards the magma being.

    "Time to cool off a little, you're not supposed to burn the grass."

Caleb Dykstra has posed:
As his target is blown to bits, he squints his eyes. It's not really the best of strategies, he thinks, but it seems to get the job done. He throws a few more, this time towards the sink hole at maximum yield, against the incoming flow of magmanites, then dodging for cover. Maybe the blasts will dissuade the critters from this invasion, who knows?

He looks at Evan, and his ability immediately gives him an idea.

"Yo, friend!", he calls out. "Can you help out with some damage control while the fire department isn't around here?"

Bunny Macleod has posed:
    Bunny comes in to get a closer look at the situation, dangling overhead with a very excited dinosaur in her crossed arms. Her nose wrinkles at the little lavalings, and she shifts her weight about before she rolls in the air and away from the clung magma-man -- wait, if they're above the crust, does that make them lava men, or is it their personal crust? Either way --

    "Hey! Friends don't throw friends at the baby dinosaur-carrying superhero!" she scolds lightly!

    She makes a platform for the little rock guy to strike, and then drops him straight down in a more controlled manner.

    "You *are* kinna cute though."

Jack Nolan has posed:
There's not a lot of time after Jack manages to cut off the lava monster before it starts to throw lava at him. He's quick for a thing made out of living rock..But you know so is Jack. He dodges to his right, throwing out several rock spines to intercept the lava ball in midair. Or at least that's the plan.

At least it'll probably stop the momentum of the lava, but it also might just get melted through and keep coming, which is why he keeps moving, <"They got some kind of device or case, can't tell what it is, but it's definitely fireproof."> He would love to have something like a cryogen gun or something. Where's one of the eight hundred ice-themed villains when you need one anyway?

Mark Grayson has posed:
The cop does as he's told, even with Mary Jane not having to prompt him much. As he gets away, one of the Magmanites that had been harassing the horse has turned his attention to the SHIELD agent as she takes out her swords. There's some guttural noises and it goes charging towards the fallen shieldmaiden, just to get cleaved into. The rock cracks and gives way and the blade sinks into the magma that makes up what's beneath the surface.

It's damaged, but it will take a couple of more strikes as it tries to grab a hold of the blade, perhaps thinking that if it gets his hand around the blade, he can melt the steel.

As Windrose lets loose with her winds, the tandem tornado lifts several of the magmanites off the ground, sending them flying back towards the entrance of the cave where they came from. They hit the ground, bouncing and flung about like pebbles in the wind.

Evan has found the Latverian magmanite! As he comes in to douse the creature with water, it turns to throw a ball of lava towards the mutant, but when the water collides with it, there's a hiss of steam as the water solidifies the creature, cooling it down to it's core. It manages a step forward as it turns to solid rock, the case it was carrying hanging loosely from it's side.

The Magmanite that Bunny is facing off against goes up that pink glittery platform, turning and spinning and she sends it spinning towards the opening that they came out of, so it can get caught in Windrose's gale and blown back in. Because lava creatures are /not/ covered in the lease under pets. No matter how cute she thinks it is.

Jack's spikes impale the creature, which does hold it to the ground for the moment. The creature pulls and pulls, before stopping and turns his attention as he starts to try to melt the rock, adding it to his mass in order to pull out of it the temporary trap - which should by Jack the time to figure out a plan or get back up.

Caleb's blasts are causing some of the magmanites to reverse their course or move in different directions. Perhaps, if they work together, they could somehow funnel the creatures back from where they came out of - but there's still going to be the matter of sealing up the rift in the ground.

Mary Jane Watson has posed:
All right, these things are reasonable. They're not Moloids, but they're not being freakishly strong like things from the Nine Realms. Like from Svartheim or Muspelheim. So long as she's cautious, she can handle these. So when the creature goes to yank along her blade, she exerts herself a bit. She's able to tug the blade away less by force of strength and more just by the fact it's hard to maintain a grip on something sharp that's digging in. And these things aren't as solid as volcanic rock. So she has at least a little leverage to yank the blade away forged of Asgardian steel. She goes to dig her feet in, examining the damaged part of the creature.

Blade withdrawn, she goes to slash over with her other one. A Hyborean core, reforged with a layer of secondary adamantium on top. She goes to slash over at the thing with her opposite blade, attempting to make the damaged bit worse. She's not sure how much this thing can take, and what it can do, or how smart it is. So she errs on the side of caution when she has little information on what they can do.

Audra Meridian has posed:
"Nice pinball assist!" Windrose calls back to the glittery girl that smacked one of the strays into her windstream to blast back towards the hole. "See any others still straying about? Try and send them this way. Back to the depths of where they crawled out of."

Unfortunately she does have to let the galeforce die down finally, before it starts to get out of control and turn into an actual windstorm that might do as much harm to the park or people as it does the enemy. Windrose however is already meticulously considering this, and after the wind fades she pulls the controls to reset her gauntlet as she moves closer to the hole in what was the lake, not wanting to give the rock things enough time to recoup.

When she does hold her arm back out a different array has formed from it, which fires with a thunderous crack. But it's not actually firing thunder, or lightning, it was just that kind of loud bang.

What it does fire is what she has come to dub her 'Hail Shotgun', a cluster of frozen chunks shot at high velocity. You know those bits of ice that are so solid that they can smash windows, knock down branches and cause numerous auto insurance claims? Exactly. Just imagine that, hail replacing the buckshot, in a narrow cone of icy knockback as she keeps trying to herd/blast the rockheads back into the subterrainal opening.

Evan Sabahnur has posed:
    With the magmite no longer active, Evan stops the stream of water and drops to the ground in front of it, reaching out to try and pry the box from the stony fingers, probably breaking off one or two of them in the process. He takes a quick look at the box, seeing if there are any markings or other indications of just what the heck it is.

    Caleb's call finally catches his atttention, so he puts off his study of the box and jogs towards the man, calling out "Sure, what can I help you with? If you've got a plan, you're a couple steps ahead of me, I'm working on instinct here." Maybe not the best statement a hero could make, but then Evan's always been painfully honest, even about his own shortcomings.

    No matter what, however, he's keeping a firm grip on the case taken from the magmite, as it probably contains the reason for their attack here.

Jack Nolan has posed:
The creatures don't seem to be stopping, though he managed to keep it down for a moment or two, "Shit okay." He quickly looks around, when he spots something that might possibly work. Well, with all the snow around. He suddenly gets an idea. A really bad, dumb idea.

A couple of moments later, the magma man gets hit in the head/torso combo with a snowball.

"Hey glowstick, come get me!"

He waits to see if it actually does, or if it continues on with its mission towards the embassy. Because he has another idea, but if he can get the thing to chase him, he won't have to do a lot of property damage..

Caleb Dykstra has posed:
"See if you can douse what fires erupt from these things blowing up", Caleb asks, "while the civilians get evacuated. There's no point in stopping them if we do more damage than they would, right?"

He considers a possibility, looking around for alternatives that could halt and divert their path...

And his attention falls on the other heroes. They're not many, but when in need, you make do with what you got. "Fellow concerned citizens!", he calls out. "See if you can drive them back towards the hole they came from!", he suggests.

And he throws another shuriken, this time exploding in front of the creatures, in the hopes they can flee back towards the hole...

Bunny Macleod has posed:
    Bunny looks down to Windrose.

    Beeper, in her arms, goes "GEEP!" very loudly, and the flying heroine with the rainbow color scarf gives a brilliant grin and a nod down to Windrose and she turns to get to work.

    She concentrates, and holding her pet in one arm, she brings the other arm down and forms a wall in the way of some of the todling bits of lavaling, and begins to herd them back towards the weather weatherer!

Mark Grayson has posed:
Mary Jane's blade is able to easily cleave and rend the rock and magma that the creatures are made out of. In fact, if anything, the repetitive strikes are clearly sharpening and polishing the blade to a brilliant edge as she finds that they are relatively easy to lop into pieces and don't seem to be able to pull themselves back together or renegerate - they are very much on the low end of the lava creature heiarchy.

Windrose switches up her tactics, closing in the distance as she herds the remaining Magmanites back towards their hole. When the wind dies down, one of the creatures was about to go charging in at the weather-powered woman when suddenly /KRAK/ - the loud blast shatters the air, as the hail shatters the creature that was charging, causing it to collapse. Clearly, Audra has broken out the boomstick. And the magmanites are backing away from it cautiously.

Evan manages to free the case from the rock formation, pretty easily. It seems to be a simple enough briefcase, just made from fireproof materials. When he shakes it, there is something inside that is rattling, but there's not ticking or beeping, so most likely not a bomb. But they won't know for sure until they get it open.

The Magmanite with the other case is hit by a snowball, which sizzles on it's skin. The creature looks at Jack, as if trying to decide if it wants to persue or not - but as it glances towards the case he carries, it remembers it's mission and starts to lumber towards the Embassy anew.

Caleb and Windrose have started working together, as another of Caleb's explosions sends yet another creature backwards, as some of them, realizing that there is no wind now, are starting to throw lava balls again. But there are so few left that it may be easy to map them up. And then Bunny comes in with that bright shield, and between the three of them - they have formed a wonderful little funnel to force them all back from where they came from! Time to wrap it up!

Audra Meridian has posed:
Audra Meridian glances aside briefly when she hears the explosion, but is relieved to see it is someone throwing some kind of explosive projectiles at the magmamites rather than them exploding something. Good, keeps them from veering off in other directions.

She turns back to the main objective, just to utter under her breath as she lifts her aim to ice shotgun one of the magma balls, rapidly cooling and likely fragmenting it. Hopefully cooling off enough to not cause any more fires. "Alright, time to send these reject Rock Lords back to the depths." She alternates between shooting at the rock critters and shooting down projectiles as necessary as the trio heards them back towards the opening.

Evan Sabahnur has posed:
    Evan nods and calls out, "Sure, damage control it is." Lifting into the air again, he starts dousing the various small fires caused by magmite chunks. Along the way, if he manages to catch any more of the magmites in the water blast, he'll angle them back towards the hole in the lake bed.

    He keeps a tight grip on the case, not taking a chance at losing possibly the only clue as to why these beings attacked. Glancing down at it for a moment, he says to himself "I do hope this isn't a bomb." Even as he thinks it, his skin shimmers and takes on a slightly metallic sheen. It's always easier and less painful to avoid major shrapnel related wounds rather then regenerating them afterwards.

    He continues to zoom around the lake bed, blasting fires and magmites both with the high pressure stream of water. It may not be as impressive as flashing swords or hurricane winds, but it gets the job done.

Jack Nolan has posed:
He was REALLY hoping that would work. Well, now he's got to start causing damage. Changing directions, he heads back towards the embassy proper, stopping on the sidewalk in front of the main gate. About 100 away from the gate is your average every day water fountain.

But it's not the fountain he's going after, he's going for the pipes underneath them. He skids to a stop in front of the fountain, and then looks back at the lava guy and his case, "You know, I was going to do like a witty ice-based one liner, but I doubt you can understand English." He says, more to himself than anything else, before he slams his hand down into the concrete of the sidewalk, and rips out the pipe that feeds the fountain, bending it towards the magma monster.

Caleb Dykstra has posed:
"Oh, you wanna throw some lava, do you?", Caleb replies, dodging one of those projectiles which got too close for comfort.

"Well, like the old saying goes...", pulls out a gun from his pocket, and emptying a whole clip of sticky pellets repeatedly at it, "Fight fire with fire!" The pellets begin to blink, and Caleb seizes the moment the creature could be distracted to run towards it, leap mid-air towards it and push it against the opening it sprouted from, and clogging the entrance just long enough for the big boom - maybe!

He ducks for cover...

Mark Grayson has posed:
Bunny's shield is pretty powerful, lava balls bouncing off of it as she moves forward, taking plenty of pictures as she is guided by Windrose and Caleb to force the Magmanites back into the hole. Audra's hail shots are making quick work of any stragglers that think that they can get around the shield, shattering when hit with a blast.

In the meantime, Evan's elemental blasts continue the deluge upon the creatures with high-pressured water as some of them sizzle out and become solid, others tearing off their own limbs to get away from the onslaught of ice, water, and unbreakable prismatic shield.

As Jack cracks the pipes beneath the magmanite that has given him trouble since this fight started, he finally finds a way to stop the creature. The spray of water washes over it, and it hisses and sizzles as the magma cools and hardens, freezing the creature in place. Second case secured.

As Caleb's explosives land into place, there are several more last minute attempts, but the joint efforts are too much. Bunny is able to seal the entrance until a series of loud explosions ring out, sealing the creatures within and bringing relative peace back to the area.

As for the cases? When opened, there are two items. One is a large diamond, at least five karats. It's not been shaped or molded, it's diamond in it's rawest form. The other? A gilded envelope.

HRH Volcanikka of the Magmanite People cordially invites you to her upcoming nuptuals to Doctor Seismic. Details to be forth coming.

There's also information for RSVPing and that gems and other rock related gifts would be accepted for the wedding party. Dress is formal.

Mary Jane Watson has posed:
Her blades out in front of her, Mary Jane can't make out the invitation and just squints at the diamond. "So this isn't Mole Man trying to kidnap someone from the surface world?" As the last of the volcanoids seems to be unconscious, the threat is over. Damage seems to have mostly been pretty minimal.. She goes to once things stop move to sheathe her swords over behind her back, her hands going over in front of her to rest on her hips.

"ANd do any of you have the slightest clue what this was about, then?"

Audra Meridian has posed:
"Stoner go down the hooole!" Windrose quips as the last magmanite tumbles over the edge. She then backdashes away so Bunny and Caleb have room to work their collab effort in closing off the opening. That is a task she would of had difficulty dealing with.

"Well, it will take some rain or melting snow to fill the lake back in, but overall that should deal with the matter. Good job you guys."

Evan Sabahnur has posed:
    As things return to normal, Evan lands and returns his arm to it's normal form, then takes the case over to the group of heroes who fought off the attack.

    Or, after opening the cases, not so much attack as wedding invitation.

    "Oh, well, that's not good. I wonder how upset these folks are going to be. Apparently this was all a big misunderstanding." He looks around the group and asks, "I don't suppose any of you has the slightest idea what the protocol for this situation would be? I mean, we probably want to avoid starting a war with these Magmanites."

Jack Nolan has posed:
Once things have finally cooled off, Jack bends the pipe back over to try and stem the flow of the water, then once done, moves over and breaks the case out of the hardened rock, opening the case and looking at the large diamond within.

When the other one is revealed to be the accompanying invitation, he frowns, "Great. We're going to need to get ahead of this one.."

Caleb Dykstra has posed:
The young man that is Caleb gets up and approaches the gather of heroes. To MJ, he offers a wave, "Nice to see you again", then a shrug, "And not a damn clue. There I was, eating something while enjoying a view of the lake, when all of a sudden, hell breaks loose in the form of these walking lava creatures."

He sighs as he looks at the invitation. "I mean, by all past experiences, this sounded like an attack to me..." He facepalms, "Please, tell me we didn't just ignite some international incident...!"

Notice the word 'ignite' instead of 'spark' - it's the obligatory pun. WOMP WOMP!